Going to have to rehome our lad.

[joanofarchitrave]

That's it. I feel a bit blank. DH can't cope any more. We had the trainer round tonight and she gave us some useful advice but basically where we are is where we are, we can't change him though we can make it a bit easier.

Got to tell ds tomorrow. He will be crushed.

We got him through Blue Cross so will try through them I guess.

I don't know your background but I am sorry it has come to this. You should definitely go back through the rescue. What are the problems?

Thanks for posting.

DH really hates taking him for walks because he's aggressive to other dogs and chases lots of things which would be because he's a terrier and feels guilty when he doesn't. DH has a chronic mental illness and feeling guilty all the time is about the worst situation for him.

That sounds tough :(

When you say you had the trainer round, was it a behaviourist on vet referral? I'm just asking because in many cases the problems you describe could definitely be improved or resolved (with a lot of work and patience). That might not be appropriate for you if your DH is unwell though.

She's a local trainer, recommended by the nice owner of a dog our dog went for . She was very good, and there are definitely some things we can do, he was pulling less and getting better at leaving other dogs even in the little test walk we did, but we're never going to get to a point where dh feels confident again to let him off the lead. He just doesn't like taking him out,ever. That's doable in the summer, just about, when I can take him morning and evening, but in the winter it is hard yards when I'm taking him out in the dark.

Lots of dogs can't go off lead its not the end of the world .

If dh were happy to take him on the lead, that woudl be OK. But he's not, he hates doing it if he does it, and feels guilty if he doesn't. DS adores the dog and will even take him out but very unwillingly and for a trip round the block usually. It's down to me. I'm starting to lose it working full time and doing so much of the dog work too.

Perhaps your DS will walk him a bit more if its a choice between do more or the dog goes .

You'd think so.

Sorry I'm not much help but there are so many dogs waiting for homes I'm sure your boy is probably better off with you and less exercise than sitting in a rescue centre taking his chances with all the others.

If you're working full time could you afford to have a professional dog walker come in to walk him for an hour? Takes the guilt away from your DH and might be good for the dog to see how someone else handles the situation

Gosh it sounds difficult. I can understand that it's not just about the dog's welfare but your DH too.

It was just the phrase you used in your OP "we can't change him" that struck me. We can't change his personality but it's very possible, with the right help, to change a dog's emotional reaction to things. I'm not for a minute saying it's easy but it's absolutely possible.

For example, if you could have help with his reaction to other dogs, and you found a safe enclosed place to let him off lead, would that be something your DH could contemplate? Also, although dogs do need walked, mental stimulation is just as important. Maybe you could reduce your workload of walks and your DH could step up with some daytime clicker training, and feed Kongs instead. That would be enriching and stimulating, and safe. If you have s garden with a bit of space there's lots of fun and exercise to be had with a flirt pole.

I'm sorry if your decision is made - i'm just trying to help you see a way through as it doesn't sound like you are art peace with a decision to rehome.