Can't be bothered to name change and generally doing OK but it's almost 4 years on since finding out DH was meeting and texting an OW on an almost daily basis for several months in the course of his days work as part of out business.He kept the extent of their contact a complete secret.He knew it was straying into affair territory ,and messages had become sexually explicit.It only stopped because her DH went through her phone and blew the whole thing wide open.
Well he was and still is deeply sorry for the hurt caused,and damage to our long marriage.I decided to forgive, but can't forget, and stand by that.Most of the last 4 years after the initial painful first months have been good,getting better.But if I'm honest today I still feel broken inside - and sometimes fear I always will.But I don't feel splitting up,after all this time would achieve anything either.He's a good guy who did something selfish and stupid and regrets it.Apart from that time he's always put his family first.He's kind and thoughtful again ,and we support each other immensely with our grown up DCs and all their ups and downs and the recent difficulties of ageing and dying parents.I still find ind him attractive and our sex life is very good.considering our ages and all the other 'stuff' going on.
Sorry bear with me.Just needed to get it out.And I'm long past boring the few close friends who knew at the time how close we came to divorce and why.Just needed to vent and express how I can still feel incredibly sad at how the numbness can still catch me unawares.
But I am of a certain age with hormones all over the place.And I have just seen OW and that doesn't help.Unfortunately she has recently started up her own business doing exactly the same thing we do and although our client base is solid and well established she even operates in one or two areas we do and so my path ,literally ,crosses with hers.Amazingly thoughtful of her really !
I know that why I feel low today really.Just needed to write it down so I can pull myself out of the dark fog that sometimes still settles.Dont really need advice or support but thanks to anyone reading.