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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Am I mad?

77 replies

LittleMilla · 27/05/2014 21:19

Today we have said yes to a yellow lab puppy, little boy.

I have got two sons (3 & 10mo) and work 4 days a week. DH has very flexible work and will be working from home early in then taking him to work. We also have a nanny who will be around with boys every day but don't want to rely on her. She'll just be the backup.

We've spoken for ages about getting a dog but this has literally all happened in the last five days. A breeder friend of my aunt was let down last min and so we've decided to go for it!

DH and I just joked that we're trying to cram 9 months of prep in to four days! DH grown up with dogs so feeling very relaxed but I'm nervous!

OP posts:

Booboostoo · 28/05/2014 16:45

I don't know if you are still reading OP, I don't want to upset you but really, really reconsider this. A 10mo and a puppy would need to be kept separate most of the time purely because the 10mo would be on the ground, crawling, trying to stand, etc and the puppy would be licking, climbing all over him with sharp claws, chewing his toys, knocking him over, having toilet accidents, etc. but they would both need a lot of attention and supervision. Even for one committed adult it would be a lot of hard work.

VetNurse · 28/05/2014 17:06

I think this is a really bad idea. Lab puppies are cute but they are big, clumsy and strong. Please reconsider. Puppies are extremely hard work and not something to be taken on lightly. I'd wait until your children are a bit bigger.

Original poster

LittleMilla · 28/05/2014 18:57

Thanks all for replies.

From a logistics pov I'm planning to keep the sitting room a dog free zone using another stair gate so that boys have a safe play area. We have an open plan kitchen dining room where boys also play and the utility room is off this - will put crate in there and line with newspaper wih another stair gate to keep him in. You can access garden from there too.

We have talked for a while now about getting a dog and so I've probably been a tad dramatic with the five day thing. It's just been led more from a dog being available vs us saying yes let's find one. And tbh I think it wa always going to be led by the dog finding us vs the other way round

We've made it clear to our nanny that he's our responsibility. She's happy to help when needed but I want her focus to be boys. Hence DH staying at home with him three days and then I'll do the other two (I am only in office three days a week). DH has commited to taking him for training etc.

We do tend to be quite reactive in everything we do so this fits with our life DH has said that he believes the things that bring us the most pleasure have the most admin attached. And the dog will obviously fall in to that description!!

Will keep on reading threads for advice. Thanks all

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 28/05/2014 19:06

So one of you will be in the kitchen looking after the puppy while the nanny is in the sitting room looking after the DC...and what you'll take turns on evenings and weekends?

everlong · 28/05/2014 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VetNurse · 28/05/2014 20:18

You can't just shut a puppy away from the area you are in. When my dog was a pup she followed me everywhere. They need the close contact and your constant attention. I don't have children and found it exhausting.

Owllady · 28/05/2014 20:27

I had a very nervous four month old rescue dog when my eldest were 2yo and 9months. Worse still I hadn't even contemplated getting her, she was going to be shot by a farmer, was covered in ticks and was such a nervous state :( so I bought her home, from Wales, in the footwork of the car.
Now that's foolish
I think I was quite affected by the death of my sister tbh as she had died a few months previously BUT She rescued me I think and it may have Bern foolish, hard work and all of that, but she was my lovely little companion and she added so much to my life, especially over the years and I miss her so much since she died.
So trust yourself really. Sometimes things aren't ideal, as long as you have commitment and love I really think you make it work. In all situations, not just dogs!

LEMmingaround · 28/05/2014 20:29

Keeping the puppy separate from the family for most of the day is not a good idea in all honesty.

Owllady · 28/05/2014 20:30

The footwell of the car! Over the years she was promoted to passenger seat :o

Original poster

LittleMilla · 28/05/2014 21:08

Beginning to regret starting this thread as I fear that people may think we're cruel. It was meant to be fairly lighthearted as whilst I won't pretend to know it all, we will put him above our own needs. I know we're being pretty naive and it'll be a steep learning curve but I'm hoping we'll have a bit of fun too...right!?!

Nanny is out a lot with boys and so dh will be the puppy's main companion mon, wed and Friday. I am home on Tuesdays with the boys and I do my own business stuff on Thursdays that I can do from home or from our dog friendly office. He won't be left alone for any length of time. I just want to keep him downstairs and also make sure we've got a dog free area for boys to play with their toys if they want to. Our kitchen/diner leads straight on to garden and is where we spend most of the time - even more so in the summer as we've got doors straight out. He'll absolutely be with us all at this time but we will also have a place (utility room) to rest peacefully when needed.

He's already going to the loo at breeder's in the same spot and she's offered advice on how we replicate the set up for home. She also has him on a fairly strict routine of food at 6am, 1pm and 6pm that she feels we can nudge to 7,2,7 to fit in with boys' schedule.

Again, I know that it's going to be mental but I'm sort of feeling more prepared now actually: had a chance to do some more reading up, chats with other dog owners etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleMilla · 28/05/2014 21:10

Meant to add that the 'office' is in the middle of the countryside and I'll only take him once he'll be happy to stay indoors for a bit until we have a long walk at lunchtime...

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleMilla · 28/05/2014 21:10

...and until then I will just work from home with him.

OP posts:

RoseyHope · 28/05/2014 22:31

Honestly it may all work out fine. Our Lab puppy is 8months now and he's been brilliant. Few annoying weeks until fully toilet trained, some barking when left alone problems, a bit of biting with the kids but they've all been sorted out and definitely manageable. Things only start to go downhill when you let yourself feel overwhelmed and start losing control of them. Give him rules and boundaries, plenty of exercise, lots of mental stimulation every day, and put in the hard yards in the first few months to start him off right.

tabulahrasa · 28/05/2014 23:01

It may work out fine...but people often underestimate both how much time a new puppy takes up and how bad mouthing can be.

My adult neighbour has a little scar on her hand from my dog, (he was only about 10 weeks old at the time) their baby teeth are so fine and sharp that they puncture skin really easily.

I'd be really hesitant about getting a puppy with a baby that's either just or about to become mobile.

everlong · 29/05/2014 06:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booboostoo · 29/05/2014 06:41

I don't mean to make you feel bad OP, but just look at the many, many threads of people on here struggling to cope with their dog and please reconsider.

Whatever you do keep in mind the socialisation window. Between about 8 and 14 weeks there is an opportunity for the puppy to be introduced to the world. Basically anything the pup sees during this period they are unlikely to be scared of later on, so you need to be out and about as much as possible exposing the puppy to as much of the world as possible (keep in mind that for some of this period the puppy will not be fully covered by vaccinations so you will need to stay away from unvaccinated dogs and fox poo. Also very young puppies should not get a lot of exercise so you may need to carry the puppy). I honestly cannot see how anyone can socialise a puppy and continue with a full time job and child care. If you miss out or skip out on the socialisation period you won't see the significant problems you will most certainly get until the dog is about 12-18mo - not a coincidence this is the most popular age for people to give up their unwanted puppies to rescues.

Also look at puppy parties which accept unvaccinated puppies right from the start and training classes which should start as soon as his vaccinations are complete. Look for a trainer who uses positive reinforcement methods and observe a class before you join to make sure you are happy with their methods.

clam · 29/05/2014 10:00

Seeing as how there are thousands of families with Labradors, not to mention other breeds/mutts, all of which were puppies once, why on earth should the OP not manage as every one else has?

Lots of doom and gloom on here. The OP seems to me as if she has her head screwed on alright and has considered some of the likely pitfalls.

It's lots of fun having a puppy - hard work, yes, but a special time. I look back on it fondly, but I do think it helps if you're quite laid back (vigilant where young kids are concerned however) and can laugh off some of the chaos. Good luck with it all.

tabulahrasa · 29/05/2014 11:16

Clam - my concern is more the specific ages if the puppy and baby, if it was a younger or older child the bitey period would be more manageable IMO. With a younger baby the puppy would be past mouthing before the baby was crawling about, and an older child would be already steady on their feet and be able to understand things like stand very still and I'll get the puppy and younger babies spend more time up out of the way and toddlers spend more time on furniture.

It's not an anti-lab thing, though they do tend to be chewier and bouncier than some breeds as puppies, just the age of both of them.

Booboostoo · 29/05/2014 17:18

clam do you think rescues refuse to rehome to families with very young children out of a sense of perverse satisfaction? Where do all the 1-2yo abandonned rescue young dogs come from if it is all so manageable?

There are also different types of set ups. I got a puppy when DD was 14mo, but I already had 4 horses, 3 dogs, a cat, 13 hectares of land and a groom willing to help out with all the animals while I was SAHM. It is still hard work but circumstances make a huge difference. What the OP is describing is not disasterous but is far from ideal and she may find the extra pressure too much to cope with, especially as she is a first time dog owner.

At the end of the day it is absolutely no skin off my back if this goes wrong and I can be really pleased for the OP if it goes right. Unfortunately she will have to deal with the emotional and practical fall-out if this goes wrong and it's worth warning her now when she can do something about it.

clam · 29/05/2014 18:18

Sounds to me like she is well aware of the potential pitfalls. And her husband is familiar with dog-ownership, albeit not with young children.

Booboostoo · 29/05/2014 19:11

Well the title of the thread seems to suggest she was looking for advice clam!

clam · 29/05/2014 19:29

She also said later on that it was meant to be light-hearted.

For "Am I mad?" I interpreted, "I must be mad."

VetNurse · 29/05/2014 19:34

I think the OP needs to ask themselves if they would have gone out and got a puppy now if they had not been offered one. Yes they said they had been talking about it for a while but that could mean that they were going to wait until their baby was a bit older. Just because they have been offered a puppy shouldn't mean that they should have it. Yes it does work out for some people but the thousands of young dogs in rescues show that it often doesn't.

Original poster

LittleMilla · 29/05/2014 19:39

Lesson for me here on thread title. The bit that many people have skipped is that my DH works for himself and has a pretty cushy job setup which means he'll be around a lot. I'm in a corporate land job 3 days a week, and on those days he'll be looking after the pup.

Thank you to all of the constructive advice and also pleas to reconsider. I was feeling a bit "arghhhh" when I initially posted but far more excited now. I'm also going to carry on reading other threads for tips.

OP posts:

LadyTurmoil · 29/05/2014 23:01

LittleMilla Everyone wishes you luck, I'm sure, but also trying to be realistic. If you read other threads on here about puppies, they can bring you to your knees. It just seems that you've got a lot on your plate already: working, 2 small children etc.

But I wish you all the luck in the world with your new addition and hope it's lots of fun as well. I'm confident that we'll all go "aaah" when you put up some pics of the new "beast"!

Have you got a name yet? That's another minefield!!

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