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How can I explain to my Mum she making it worse?

3 replies

LokiDokey · 11/04/2014 11:20

Apologies, this is turning into an essay...

When I was a child I had a Yorkie, it was a lovely little thing but over the years turned into a demonic, snappy little thing. Mum had a Shih Tzu some years later who was also quite aloof and rather grumpy. I've recently realised that it's probably my Mother making them this way and I need help to try and change her.

She's 78 and after losing grumpy shih tzu last year she had another shih tzu pup called charlie. He's a lovely little thing, polar opposite to the last one, but I'm beginning to realise his 'challenging' behaviour is down to my Mother. He's one this month, here are the issues:

He was a chewer from the moment he came home. Mum wouldn't give him stag bars or kongs so he chewed up the house. He will still chew anything that hits the floor. I've finally persuaded her towards chew toys and his chewing habit is massively decreasing so I'm seeing that as a success.

Any behaviour Mum doesn't like is dealt with in one of two ways, she either waves her arms around yelling or, more troubling, launches cups of water or water pistols at him.
He has a tendency to jump up when you walk in, he'll often catch you with his teeth as he's doing it because his mouth is lolling open. When I walk in I ignore him, stand still with my arms crossed and only make a fuss when all 4 paws are on the floor. This works, she's seen it works but rather than conveying this method to visitors or using it herself prefers to soak him, which obviously he thinks is a game.

If he picks up something he shouldn't have (he chewed her glasses last week) rather than swapping them for something he can chew she'll wave her arms, yell at him to drop and chase him. All great fun for him.

We walked my 6 month old pup last week and when he pulled I followed the Stillwell method of turning around and walking the opposite way. Mum commented my dog should be on a collar not a harness then he wouldn't pull because it would hurt his neck when I yanked him back so he'd soon learn. I was horrified and told her such. I have no desire to train my boy by hurting him.

She tends to watch Ceasar Milan, her training methods are archaic and I don't believe she's deliberately being cruel to the dog but she really is and the problems she's starting now I could well inherit if anything happens to her. I've tried to explain, she promises no more water, then I discover from sons GF she threw a cup over him last night for jumping up.

How do I get her to see that she is encouraging the behaviour? And how the hell do I get her to stop!?

OP posts:
Owllady · 11/04/2014 15:31

I don't know, she's 78. Will she listen? I suppose you could try and get her to attend a good class? Buy her the Gwen Bailey books?

nellieellie · 11/04/2014 15:38

Yes, The Gwen Bailey books are good. Is there a DVD you could get- then maybe easier to sit her down and watch it together? Wow - my parents tried the water thing too when they had dogs - then they got a Newfoundland so no point at all.............

LokiDokey · 11/04/2014 16:32

It's frustrating because she'll nod and listen, I'll show her techniques working, and when I'm gone it's back to the water.

In other aspects he's brilliantly behaved, his sit, stay, down and recall are all perfect, but her methods of dealing with his jumping up and picking up things he shouldn't are just not working.

I might buy her the Perfect Puppy book and hope she'll read it. She's very much the Barbara Woodhouse generation and it's really not working with him. I just think launching glasses of water at him is rather cruel.

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