I need to man up and have my dog pts but i just cant do it.

[bubbawubba]

Ive posted before about my 16 yo JRT bitch and her faecal and urinary incontinence. This has been going on for close to 5 months now, Ive taken her to 3 different vets who all say she is exceptionally healthy (mild heart murmur asymptomatic) and it would be a 'pity' to have a very healthy dog who still enjoys her food and walks destroyed. They've put her incontinence down to old age and loss of bladder and bowel control. Basically, she is pooing and weeing everywhere at all times of day and night. She doesn't ask to be let out anymore she does it where she is. Ive tried caging her overnight to reduce the night mess but she howled so much that none of us got any sleep for 2 weeks, despite me sleeping on the floor next to the cage and trying to gradually withdraw. She wont go on paper and she rips nappies off. We put a lampshade on her to try to prevent it but she scratched herself til she bled she was that desperate to get it off. My house stinks of dog piss. And i mean really stinks. My friends and family have commented on it when they have been over. We've thrown 2 rugs away and the wooden floor is now swelling where she wees at night and we don't get to clean it til morning so it seeps in. Our kitchen is open plan so we cant shut her in. I know what i need to do for our quality of life but i cant bring myself to do it to an otherwise healthy dog. It feels criminal to even think of it. I'm so tired of it, I'm starting to resent her being so well :(

That sounds very difficult, I am sorry :(
Have you got a regular vet at the moment? I am sure your regular vet is sympathetic to your situation.

Oh, I really am sorry to hear this. I am surprised the vets cannot be more helpful. Let's face it, at her age there is no quality of life left to look forward to, even if it seems like she is still enjoying her walks and food. She can hardly be enjoying all the lampshades and nappies and crates and such, can she? Yet you really have no alternative given her chronic double incontinence.

My OH would not allow such a situation to continue, even if I would tend to want to continue running around and mopping up.

I do think you should just call the vet and tell them she is on her last legs. Have someone come round -- spend the whole day stroking her and telling her how much you love her. It is time to say good-bye.

So sorry, but don't let these last moments be marred by resentment and stress.

I'm really sorry you and your dog are going through this. The situation is clearly upsetting her too, and that to me would be the deal breaker - in fact, was the deal breaker, with our 15 year old collie eighteen months ago.

Our vet did not put us through any sort of guilt trip. The deed was done with me holding her, with great peace and dignity. I cried my eyes out but was proud of myself afterwards, knowing I'd done the last nice thing for a dearly loved dog.

The vets may well have been telling you what they thought you wanted to know. And if the dog sn't in pain, then technically they wouldn't tell you that you had to PTA for your dog's sake.

But, this is no life for you and no life for her. You do not want to end up resenting her, getting annoyed etc. she will not enjoy being dirty if previously clean unless she is unaware.

PTS, and feel no guilt.

I have no experience of dogs but the night before my cat was due to be put to sleep she pooed in the corner of the downstairs loo. She would have hated to have had to do that and it reinforced it was her time. She was 18 and had cancer and had been having wee accidents occasionally for about 2 years Not enough to have her PTS but the poo coincided with the appointment. My point being, how do you think you dog feels. I doubt she is very happy about not being able to toilet where she is meant too.

I think as your dog is so old, it is time to say goodbye, let her depart in peace, and remember the good times. I know it is so hard and I am sorry your vets are not being more supportive.

Your dog is 16 and cannot live forever. Better a day too soon than a month too late. You can have the vet come to your house, if it helps, and cuddle her as she goes.

Thinking of you, I know how tough it is, but I also think you know the time has come xxxx

Have you told any of the vets how unhappy this is making you?
If you came to see me I would say you have lost the pleasure in owning her and that was an excellent reason to make the decision. Then we would work together to do it in the right way for you and her.

I'm a vet, I think the advice you will get depends totally on how you approach the consult. If you go in asking "should I be putting this dog to sleep?" then after an examination and assessment of quality of life for an otherwise fit dog I might well say no. Most owners are looking for reassurance that they are not being cruel keeping an older pet going, or guidance on the right time to draw the line. If you book a PTS appointment and explain that the dog is doubly incontinent and making your life impossible, I doubt that any vet would refuse to PTS. I would very rarely try to talk someone out of a decision to PTS, and certainly not in an old dog at the end of her years.

I must admit with my elderly dog, several years ago now,she had a fit at at home but we had discussed beforehand if anything were to happen like this at her time of life we would make the decision to have her pts. When she had the fit, I rang and said they were to do it. They rang twice to talk to me but agreed it was right if I was sure and came out to the house. I kick myself I had not done it before that. She was getting so old and I worried about her so much but the vet kept saying if she walk and fed its fine. But I never raised having her pts.
I think as a loving caring owner you do have to trust your instincts and do what you feel is right x

Thank you so much for you beautiful comments. I have some hard decisions to make. I love her so much and feel so utterly shit about this. Thank you again :)

I have lost my two old girls in the past 3 years. I was also dealing with faecal and urinary incontinence (theirs not mine )

It was hard but it was time. Who would choose to live like that? My collie x was such a clean wee dog I could see even in her senile state she was distressed by it.

16 is a good age. Having her pts is an act of kindness. Nobody loves her more than you do.

A day of cuddles ssying goodbye. I gave my girls roast chicken and a walk then lay with them by the fire. It hurts like hell, i felt like my heart might actually break but I also felt relief. The run up to it was by far the hardest bit.

It is not criminal. She is 16 years old - she has had a lovely long life. You should not feel a moment of guilt - it is perfectly reasonable to put her to sleep, you've done incredibly well living with this for so long. It is insanitary and unhealthy for all of you. I would 100% pts. I do feel sorry for you though and appreciate it is very hard

minkersmum - I agree that the run up to deciding to pts is the worst part. The actual 'event' is peaceful and like a release (although I too felt heart broken when we pts our 7 year old dog with a brain tumour)

This could be us. Our yorkie is 16 and also wees and poos with impunity, but we do have stone floors and are able to contain her, and she is now banned from the sitting room, after we had to chuck out the rug. She's been renamed Dump Dog.

She's on steroids for bronchitis which make her both hungry and thirsty, to the extent that a previously very loving dog only thinks of food now. She's really not the same dog that we had previously but I have to say none of us can bring ourselves to PTS, as she still appears healthy and potters about quite happily.

The decision will be made when something happens to her, but she's always been ridiculously healthy and seems determined to go on for ever, especially as we're sure she's heard me saying that we can't get another dog till Dump Dog dies. I'm glad the consensus here is that 16 is a good age but I do feel horribly guilty even thinking about PTS, as she was the sweetest, kindest little dog you could ever meet.

I have to say that if she was ruining the floors and the house was smelling I would be making the decision sooner.

Hugs, I remember how hard it is. You will be proud of yourself when it's done.