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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

So, DSS's girlfriend bought a puppy for Christmas

22 replies

Finabhear · 02/02/2014 19:15

Guess where it seems to be living.

DSS moved back in with us at christmas out of Uni halls. He has been with his girlfriend for two years and now they have bought a puppy together [he says that she bought it for them]. Initially the puppy was here for an hour or so a couple of times a week. Now the puppy has been here all weekend with virtually no sign of DSS.

It seems that no effort has been made to house train her, or indeed train her at all. This morning DH, me and young DS left early while DSS was still in bed with the puppy, when we got back puppy was home alone - there was poop in several places on the carpet upstairs and she was busy chewing up books.

Up till now I have left DSS to train and mind puppy but following todays mess I have decided to take things in hand. Puppy is now on an intensive training course and she is not allowed upstairs - I have informed DSS that if she howls at night he will have to sleep downstairs with her - She has now almost learnt to walk on a lead and is getting the hang of coming to her name (I'm bribing heavily with cheese ). I would rather the pup is not left in the house unattended but if there really is no one to mind it he has been instructed to put her in the downstairs loo with her bed (it is tiled in there and the door latch works!)

The thing is that I have wanted a puppy for ages but I'm an ex staffy owner and this is a miniature yorkshire terrier. She needs training but I'm acutely aware that the DC are becoming very fond of her and she is not our dog. I know that I should put my foot down and not allow her to stay but, despite the fact that she is very far from my dream dog, I am becoming quite fond of her too. I'm not really sure what to do as it is quite clear that DSS and his girlfriend are not actually grown up enough for a puppy. How long should I be prepared to puppy sit before I try to sit them down and read the riot act?

Sorry for the long story, I just feel between a rock and a hard place over this puppy any advice would be welcome.

OP posts:

fanoftheinvisibleman · 02/02/2014 21:18

Personally the riot act would be out there now. The more you do, the less responsibility they will take. Unfortunately, you are going to have to think long and hard about how you feel about where that leaves you. As a (former) dog owner you know exactly what is involved!

mummyto2boysandagirl3 · 02/02/2014 21:53

I agree riot act would b read now if it were me they r not meeting the dogs needs. They got the pup they need to look after it properly. Pup is lucky u to have u

steppemum · 02/02/2014 21:57

read them the riot act.

they need to look after it properly, or you need to adopt it and take it on.

Original poster

Finabhear · 03/02/2014 09:04

Gah! Who sells a puppy to a pair of 18 year olds?

She manage to poop in DS2s room last night- on a deep pile rug - I didn't notice it this morning so trod in it...

DSS has just asked if she will be OK in the loo for 8 hours. I have told him to take her for a walk then take her to uni with him. He threw a strop a left.

Yes the riot act is needed, certainly to DSS. The problem is his girlfriend; she owns puppy but her mother is going through chemo atm so he feels he has to support her. We never see her, I don't think she likes us much.

OP posts:

Sixweekstowait · 03/02/2014 09:27

FFS this is ridiculous. He can't possibly look after and train the puppy so two options - it becomes yours and then you do all that us necessary on that basis or it goes to RSPCA . All you are doing at the moment is fostering the all too common attitude that so many people have about puppies being cute and some sort of fun toy rather than an animal that has a right to be looked after properly which clearly includes training. Sorry about girlfriends mum but that doesn't help puppy or you

mummyto2boysandagirl3 · 03/02/2014 09:36

It's not nice for the girlfriend what she is going through with her mum but y on earth did she think it was a good idea to get a puppy knowing she didn't have time for it. Will the breeder take it back? That is if u don't feel it's right for u to take it on. Must b a difficult situation as obv u have got attached but I'd have to tell them that either a) u r having the dog and u will train it etc but it will b urs so they can't just decide to have it back or b) u r returning it to the breeder/giving it to RSPCA or dogs trust so they can find the pup an owner that will care for it properly along with a long lecture about responsibility

HoneyDragon · 03/02/2014 09:36

If she's supporting her mum she hasn't got time for a puppy.

I'd

Get the details if the breeder, bollock the breeder and get them to see if they'll take the puppy back
Insist that pup needs to go to a reputable rescue ASAP they give it a chance of a home as she's not caring for it all all and Ds's thinks 8 hours in a toilet might be ok
Keep the puppy, have they insurance etc for it yet? Chipped it? Proof of ownership? If not do all that, and keep her.

But most importantly. Start bollocking.

Ohbyethen · 03/02/2014 09:40

If gf is caring for her mum a lot she didn't have time for a puppy in the first place. I'm traveling an 8 hour round trip frequently for my mum & her chemo. I have 2 adult dogs, their needs are important and I have a duty of care. Unless your dss has said he will look after the puppy full time (possible?) It should be with the person who wanted it!

Riot act all the way. I would also be questioning health tests & insurance - some one irresponsible enough to sell a puppy in these circumstances doesn't strike me as one I'd trust with health tests & 6 weeks free insurance. That can be a ticking time bomb. The only point I'd disagree with upthread is if the pup goes then first point of call is the breeder. Return & care of unwanted puppies is part of their responsibility. A reputable breeder would want the dog back. Then if no luck there a rehome.

Ohbyethen · 03/02/2014 09:41

X post. In which case - I agree with above!

HoneyDragon · 03/02/2014 09:43

Yup. Getting breeders details is your first call.

Original poster

Finabhear · 03/02/2014 09:59

She has had her vaccinations, I have no idea about health checks and insurance, some how I doubt it.

I will try to get the breeder details - i know it was from up in the valley's (south Wales) which may not bode well.

She is kind of cute and I want a pup but DH is adament that he doesn't want her and she really isn't my type of dog.

OP posts:

Primadonnagirl · 03/02/2014 10:08

Sorry but your DSS and his girlfriend are just being cruel.Its the classic "pet for Christmas" scenario Blue Peter used to warn us about!! You are trying to do the decent thing but I think you know this isn't fair. Tell your DSs its your house your rules and you ll give them a week to rehouse it or you'll do it yourself ( but you need to stick to that and I think you sound persuadable... )

SnakeyMcBadass · 03/02/2014 10:08

An epic bollocking needs to happen regardless of what is decided re the puppy. They're young, but not too young to understand that animals are not accessories to buy on a whim and get bored of when the weather changes. Yes to contacting the breeder as first port of call, but tbh I'd probably end up keeping her Probably not the best lesson to teach them ('It doesn't matter if we're really irresponsible, a proper grown up will take care of it'), but I'm soft as shite and I like most dogs.

Original poster

Finabhear · 03/02/2014 10:36

Snakey, I am so tempted to keep her but I have waited for so long for my perfect dog I'm reluctant to compromise, and it is a very bad lesson for the teens..

Yes I am soft but treading in someone elses dog poop has toughened me up somewhat

Ohbyethen, sorry about your Mum, dss is in uni and this mornings drama has proved that he is not able to mind pup full time.

OP posts:

BehindLockNumberNine · 03/02/2014 10:48

I don't think she should go back to the breeder - the breeder does NOT sound ethical (selling a puppy to two 18 year olds, presumably without a home check??)
I don't think the pup will have a rosy future if she goes back to the 'breeder'.

Take it to a reputable dog rescue. They are used to this sad scenario especially in the months after Christmas. As it is a cute puppy chances are it will be rehomed, ethically and with all necessary checks carried out, to a family who genuinely want it, quite soon.

HoneyDragon · 03/02/2014 11:32

Is it possible for your dh to suggest to his son a reduction in uni funding etc as he can afford to care for pedigree puppies?

jesy · 03/02/2014 11:38

I have found many breeeders don't care where the dogs go.

I know the orginal poster said she was an ex staffy owner and may have seen the prograame a few years back that a staff breeder sold pups to any one even on hp!

if It was me id do the riot act and have the dog myself you obviously care more about the dog than the dss .
if you have the time etc to give to the dog id do it!

Original poster

Finabhear · 03/02/2014 12:41

Hi Jesy, I didn't see that programme but I have to admit that I was only 22 when I bought my Staff - they didn't home check or anything just took the cash. I didn't know, back then, that this was dodgy. But I worked full time as a groom where the dog was welcome and loved her into her dotage. She was the best dog I have ever owned, she worshipped me and seem to mind read my commands. It has been hard to consider a new dog.

The young DS love the puppy and the longer it spends in the house the more they enjoy having her. It is good for them to learn to train her and I have to admit I'm surprised at how bright she is

OP posts:

Original poster

Finabhear · 03/02/2014 12:44

HoneyDragon, DSS lost his funding when he moved back in with us (apart from the fees that is) there aren't many more sanctions. The other problem is he has a wealthy Grandmother who he turns to every time he is particularly hard up and she seems to be bottomless and enjoy undermining our sanctions.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 03/02/2014 14:44

Perhaps his doting grandmother would like a puppy !

jesy · 03/02/2014 15:51

id just say your not pulling your weight with dog do you want him or not and if not we will take over the care.
I am beyong broke at the moment but my dog comes first ive taken her to classes which is reinforced all time .
im sorry your dss needs to take responsibility

Damnautocorrect · 03/02/2014 16:09

I think as hard as it is you'd do best to look at the two

you wanting a dog
the gf's dog. Don't take the gf's dog on as yours, your dc will be devastated if they split and she takes it back. I can see this getting very very messy. Silly silly girl.

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