awful question but should we put our Bernese to sleep?

[Brewster]

Hi,
we have two dogs one of which is a bernese mountain dog. she is 9 years old and in reasonable health at the moment apart from having epilepsy and severe arthritis.
over the years she has had to have countless ops and X-rays and what not.
she is on tramadol and previcox for her pain and the vet gave me some ' last resort' pain meds that he said may or may not help her in her bad moments.
i have been giving these last ones more and more lately.
she gets very growly and snarly at my other dog (an 11 year old spaniel) to the point where they have had fights.
I can't totally trust the bernese around my children (5 and 2) and i really don't want her to be in so much pain that her life is awful you know.
she still loves cuddles with me and we go for walks in the woods most days so she has a nice life but i am getting more and more concerned about her pain and if it is getting to 'that time'.

any advice/ anyone else been in a similar situation?

vey said it is time when she can't get up to go out to the loo or doesn't bother to get up for her food…to me that seems way too late.

9 years is a good long life for a Bernese mountain dog. 6-8 years is average. You need to think about her quality of life now. Talk to the vet about her pain management options. Why are the pain meds a 'last resort'? Do they have side affects you need to consider? Are they bad for her kidneys/liver? It's good that she can still go for walks, I would think when she becomes less able to do that it might be a sign it's getting to that time but you know her best. I regret not putting my dog Kado to sleep earlier when he was suffering from kidney failure. I know it's so hard to let go while your dog still seems like their old self but it's harder to watch them become a shadow of their former self.

I think these other pain meds are a last resort because there is nothing stronger maybe? we kids agreed that damage to the liver/kidneys is a side effect that will just have to be accepted cos we can't have her in pain and she is nearing the end now anyway with her age.

she still enjoys lots of cuddles most days and does like walks but she is at the back by quite a few meters and we have to wait for her a lot.

i can def see she is slowing down and last night she sorta collapsed and didn't move for a long time even when we all went into the kitchen (usually she follows us to see if there are bits of food on offer or anything fallen)

i don't want to see her deteriorate and i don't want her to be in more pain.

but i am so scared to do it too early but more scared to do it too late.!!

sooo hard!

I think you have to trust yourself tbh, but it's hard. I think I left it too late with one of my elderly dogs, I think it would have been kinder to have her put down earlier. But hindsight is wonderful isn't it! :(
I hope you are ok x

owllady - can i ask in what way did you feel you left it too late?
looking back what were the signs that it would have been a good time?

thank you

I don't know. I left it, with the vets advice, until she was struggling to get up. She was still eating though. I think it would have been kinder a few weeks earlier. I had ummed and ahhed and left it. I can't really explain it more than that. She was the first dog I had had to responsibility for having it put to sleep and its not a very nice feeling but part and parcel of having pets. I had to have a much loved dog put down after an accident last year and I think the previous dogs experience gave me more confidence in my instinct. It's heart breaking though x

It is a horrible horrible position to be in. I have been told that putting a dog down is a final act of kindness. I was also advised that there is such a thing as it being ok to go to the vet a week early for 'that' injection, but a day late is a day late. With our old boy, he went downhill so fast. He ate breakfast, came out for a walk, then by teatime he was falling about. The vet came to the house and he died in my arms. Only just in time to prevent ddog suffering.

Yes, my friend always says it's better to be a week too early than a day too late and its right but it's hard.

Thank you so much for your help and advice

Think we will monitor her very closely and think it will def be in the next few months if she carries on like this.

Breaks my heart and is the hardest thing ever but you are all right and it is the final act of kindness.

Take care

Sorry to hear that she's suffering.

Please go by her symptoms and not her age. A Bernese in good health can easily make it to 12 but I've seen people make the decision based primarily on the fact that they had exceeded the average Bernese life span. BMD as a breed tend to suffer from fatal cancers at a young age that brings the average down but without cancer, reaching 12 should be possible.

Having said that, I do think that you will know when the time is right for her and whilst difficult, the decision is a little bit easier as it comes from a place of love and doing the best for your girl.