New puppy with toddler?

[HissyCat]

Would love some advice!

I'm a SAHM to a 5 year old (in reception) and an almost 2.5 year old who goes to nursery part time in the week. I would LOVE a dog, I've fallen in love with the cavalier King Charles and feel as I'm home all day every day, that it have the time to devote to training a puppy.

My concern is my 2 year old. He is used to dogs, my parents own a golden retriever and my brother a cockapoo. And as desperate as I am for a puppy, I'm not going into in with my eyes closed- I remember the frequent toilet trips outside, and the chewing and the biting not to mention the initial week of howling at night.

But I still feel I can do it. Is that wishful thinking? Can someone talk me out of it? Or conversely give me some reassurance (please???)

Have found a litter which will be ready end of March.. I swing between being sensible and saying meh, you only live once.

I think you would have to very vigilant with both children. The puppy will be tiny when it first comes to you and they would overwhelm it will love but could also be a bit rough. They can also hype up the puppy to the extent that it make training/obedience more difficult for you.

You would need a crate so that the puppy could go in there for rest, peace and quiet away from the kids when it needs a nap.

Have YOU got the time? You may be SAHM but it doesn't mean you're lying down on a chaise longue all day having a pedicure (if you are, I'm jealous!). You will need to be at home much more in the beginning as pup can't be left for hours and hours at a time. You'll have to devote time to training, house-training (which should be OK by March/April time, at least weather will be better then). Will you have time for this as your children are still young and need a lot of input

Then, as kids grow up, they'll have clubs, friends to go to, need to be ferried about from club to friends, to home again. Swimming, football, tennis whatever they're into. Days out to theme parks need more planning as you'll need someone coming in or someone will need to dogsit for the day. If parents/brother are near and have dogs, maybe this will be easy for you.

Going out to a film and then for a meal just needs a bit more planning as you'll need to feed and walk dog beforehand.... all doable but it does take the spontaneity out of life a bit.

Not trying to put you off, but life tends to be busy without adding another factor to it - but having said all that Cavaliers are lovely! Health testing is super important for that breed so make sure breeders can show you all that.

If you are going into it with your eyes open, one thing to consider is how will will you feel when your pup bites your toddler? I don't for one minute mean a nasty bite, but even nice puppies play bite until they learn. It didn't take my pup long to learn, about 8 or 10 weeks. Bit the reality is a play bite or not, you bleed the same! Can you deal with that side of things and still stay calm and fair to teach the pup if (or when as they are like land sharks!) it does this?

I have to be honest and say the only time I didn't enjoy being around my pup was when my friend visited with her 2 year old. We both went a little grey as both child and puppy were hell bent on causing each other mischief! My ds (6 at the time) went through a phase of hating the pup and he is only a tiddler at 8kg fully grown.

It is only a short phase and if you are consistant you come out of the other side with a nice dog. Mine is the sweetest thing now! But I'm not sure I'd have survived a landshark and a toddler. Personally, I'd wait another 18 months. It'll be so much easier.

Hmmm thanks for the responses, all food for thought. Tbh, I walk absolutely everywhere here. I walk kids to school, walk to the after school clubs, walk to the shops- which is why in my mind a dog is ideal as I'm out walking all the time anyway.

Apart from usual household chores, I am home all the time and I did think a crate and a sectioned off part of the kitchen where puppy could stay in a 'safe zone' if my attention was diverted elsewhere, would be a good idea. As we tend to spend most our time in the kitchen/ family room area we would still be in the same room as dog but I'd know the puppy and kids were safe.

The point that worries me is the play biting- I guess we've been lucky in that the golden retriever and cockerpoo were not too mouthy as pups and learnt bite inhibition very quickly. But I do appreciate some pups are very 'bitey' but I was hoping (perhaps naively) the a CKCS is far less likely than other breeds to be so enthusiastic about it. Wishful thinking? Talk of bleeding from puppy bites is worrying as none of our family pups have every got close to drawing blood from play biting.

I'd be telling fibs if I said mine hadn't...he also ripped every item of pj's ds owned at the time! It was short lived and he was one of the first at puppy class to stop but it was full on while it lasted...he made me cry more than once savaging my feet and locking on!

Mine is a BT so can be be a feisty working dog. He was awful when tiny but sharp as a button and learnt to stop quickly and is a sweetheart now.

One of the worst puppies I have seen for biting was a sweet looking minature poodle. She was a nice pup but very nippy long after mine had stopped so I wouldn't go on cute means no nipping. It really isn't an aggression issue at all in tiny pups, it is just how they play until we teach them we don't like it.

Be aware with family pups that you may not have bern there when they werr having their mental half hours! It is your decision but I loved the puppy months, the only time I hated it was when toddlers visited. 18 months could be the difference between a pleasurable experience or hard work but you know where your tolerence levels lie!

I don't want to repeat the excellent advice already provided on DC and pups, the big red flag to me is that it's a Cav - a breed with a myriad of dreadful health issues. Theres' an excellent website here which goes through all the various breed health issues and the tests/questions for breeders you should be asking. I can only advise close study to save you much heartache and possibly horrendous vet bills furhter down the line. For this breed, you would be mad not to consider the best insurance you can afford if you go ahead.

Thank you for your replies. I am on a waiting list for puppies which are due to be born in a few weeks, the parents have had an MRI scan, heart scans, eye tests and DNA tested for curly coat and sudden collapse syndrome which although isn't a guarantee I feel I've found the best possible breeder at this time.

Regarding insurance we are going to go through petplan on the ultimate cover 4 life. I'm guessing petplan are a pretty safe bet?

At the moment all I feel is excitement, although I'm sure nerves will kick in soon- and yes at least the weather will be better come end of March/ April

My youngest was 18 months when we got our lab. Toilet training took only 2 weeks but the poor sod watched a LOT of cartoons whilst I was out in the garden (keeping an eye though the patio doors on him).

For a few weeks both kids and adults had to wear long sleeves and trousers, even if it was warm outside. She was a rotter for play biting and drove me, the DCs and DH to tears a few times. I also sprayed bitter apple on the kids hands, had a crate in the lounge and babygates instead of all downstairs doors. If I had to leave the room, the dog came with me or I took the kids.

She's 10 months now and I'm happy to leave her with my DD (5yrs) if I need to nip to the loo but still take my DS with me (works out well as we're potty training). This is more a reflection on my DS than it is the dog!!

The mental half hours were a nightmare and the babygates were a god send tbh, I've left them on and my doors are still in the garage I like them so much .

Our lab NEVER drew blood from the kids but I was super vigilant when they interacted. She drew blood from my and my DH numerous times when she was at her worst.

Good luck, it's hard work no doubt but sooo worth it

My children are slightly older 10 & 7 and we are hopefully collecting our cav mid Feb. I like you am a stay at home mum, walks load's and feels a cav would fit into our family well. I've done about 4 years of research into health testing breeding etc. I've read every puppy booK going but have a feeling, no matter how many books I read nothing is going to prepare me for the little monkey! Let me know how you get on and good luck!

I took on a rescue pup at 12 weeks, my DC are 6 and 3. I have found the 3 year old and the pup pretty challenging! She is a crossbreed, and 15i-shkg at 9 months, so quite a bit bigger than a Cav, and has never drawn blood but she has hurt the 3 year old (unintentionally) on occasion.

My main problem has been the 3 year old being an obstinate little madame, and ignoring all I tell her about not getting the pup in a headlock, not staring straight into her face, not rolling all round the floor with the pup etc. I literally had to pull them apart at times, and then the 3 year old gets time out in her room for a few minutes, and the pup got time away from the child in her crate or in the kitchen when needed. They were like litter-mates, even with supervision. Basically they were both being trained at the same time how to interact with each other. It was hard work and very time consuming. (Dd also decided on the day pup came home, we should start potty training!) 6 months on and they are the best of friends :) Still the odd rough and tumble together, but not even half as bad.

You sound like you are well prepared, but even so a puppy is HARD work. And a toddler in the mix gives it a whole different dimension. I wouldn't be without our little dog though, despite the first few months when I could have cried quite easily on many occasion!

Good luck OP, and come back with pictures of your new arrival:)

I would wait until your toddler is bigger You only need to search on here for all the threads where children and dogs have caused problems.

You also say that you walk everywhere however what will you do with the dog when you get there. eg you walk to school - you will not be allowed to take the dogs into the school grounds, you walk to shops but you will not be able to take the dog into the shops.

It is not recommended to leave dogs unattended outside shops or schools etc.

Can I also ask what you will do if the dog does show some stress or reaction to your DC's. What will you do when the dog jumps up, what will your response be if it chews your DC's toys. Are you in a situation to separate toys on the floor and a puppy. What will you do if your DC's are frightened of the puppy.

Also maybe mean but in response to a recent thread on here what will you do if you do not like the puppy.

If you take on the dog you HAVE to be committed to deal with any issues that it may bring to your family dynamics however hard. All dogs will come with needs that may change how you do things and you need to be prepared that you could have to make major changes to your lifestyle.

Hey @hissycat I know this is an older thread, but wanted to ask how did it go with the puppy? I am in a similar situation myself now and don’t know whether to be wait or go for it…

I just spent some time with my friend today who has a toddler and a Frenchie puppy and both the dog and the kid adore each other. My friend doesn't seem to be tearing her hair out, but on the contrary was actually in very good spirits. She also works, but can take puppy to work with her.

I think it's definitely doable and Cavaliers are the most amazing dogs ever