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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

To the man whose dog my dogs just attacked

70 replies

cq · 13/12/2013 09:37

I am so sorry my dogs went for your dog. It was unacceptable and I wholeheartedly and unreservedly apologise for their behaviour, and will be taking measures to ensure it does not happen again.

However, they way in which you subsequently verbally abused me was not acceptable. You demanded that I 'remonstrate' with my dogs, which I had done the instant it kicked off. That was not enough for you, you clearly believed I should beat the crap out of them. I explained that would have no point after the event, and I asked if your dog was ok. You demanded over and over again that I 'do' something, and did not stop to check your dog was ok.

I held my hand up to stop the tirade and you then exploded saying 'don't flip me off, your dogs are out of control, don't you bloody flip me off'. I took a step back and asked if you were threatening me. You moved towards me again and shouted, don't flip me me off. I said 'I'm sorry if my gesture offended, is your dog ok?'

You carried on shouting about how out of control my dogs were at which point I pointed out that my dogs were on the lead, and yours wasn't.

After a few more seconds of this abuse, I turned and walked away, saying 'My dogs are on the lead.' You yelled at me ' your dogs are fucking out of control and you're a crazy bitch.' I cried for the entire hour of my walk.

I do hope your dog is ok. Had you not been so abusive I would have offered to pay any vet bills (though I don't think any physical harm was done). He deserves a nicer owner.

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 13/12/2013 09:44

I think if two dogs attacked mine I would be pretty fucking abusive.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/12/2013 09:46

Were your dogs on the lead when it happened? He sounds very unpleasant, but he had just had a shock.

I hope his dog was okay and you're not feeling too shook up.

BrianTheMole · 13/12/2013 09:47

I would struggle to be reasonable if someones dogs attacked mine. If they are that vicious why don't you muzzle them in public?

BunnyLebowski · 13/12/2013 09:47

If your dog attacked mine I would kick it till it stopped.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/12/2013 09:49

We don't know what happened yet. OP mentioned a leash, if my loose dogs approached a leashed dog, without the owners invitation and were attacked I would accept full responsibility and would be retraining my dogs.

It is not okay for loose dogs to run up to leashed dogs and this is why.

saintmerryweather · 13/12/2013 09:50

i wouldnt react like that but id be very pissed off if your dogs attacked mine

curlew · 13/12/2013 09:53

I would be very pissed off indeed if my dog was attacked. And I would probably not be answerable for what I said or did.

Pagwatch · 13/12/2013 09:53

Actually I think (hope) you are just feeling bad rather than complaining about how he behaved.

He was probably furious because fright tends to do that to us so expecting him to be reasonable is a bit, well, unreasonable.

If it were me I would try to accpt that none of what happened was his fault and stop shifting any of the incident on to him. Take responsibility - you will feel better.
And of course paying his vets bills would have been your responsibility too. Not something you can withdraw if you feel pissy at him.

Have a cup of tea and a cry and then focus on sorting your dogs out while breathing a sigh of relief that they didn't kill his dog

Original poster

cq · 13/12/2013 09:56

Thanks for your support, Dooin, yes I fully appreciate that he had had a shock, but so had I. We had literally just walked out the gate , my dogs were on the lead and this other dog was just there. Unleashed. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

My point was, yes my dogs were aggressive to his and that was wrong. But a man shouting and ranting at a woman who had apologized, pulled the dogs away, and was trying to ensure his dog was ok is not much of a man in my eyes. Isn't aggression to another human a bit more of an issue.

I fully appreciate my dogs were at fault. Thanks for all your helpful comments everyone, I'll just take them straight to the vet now and have them PTS.

When you need some support when your kids/dogs/whatever's are out of line, I hope I can resist the urge to be so fucking unhelpful.

OP posts:

learnasyougo · 13/12/2013 09:57

his response was as it was because he was in shock. It is very common when frightened for people (like animals) to behave aggressively.

interrogated but I was nearly knocked off my bike recently. The ban speed at a red light further down the road so I pedalled like crazy to catch up, pulled up to the driver's side and began to shout and rant.
The driver was very sorry and I believed her so I stopped being so angry, then I realised I was shaking like a leaf. I'm not normally a shouty kind of person. ever. It was just the fear and adrenaline.

Accept that he was frightened and feeling attacked too.

Marrow · 13/12/2013 10:02

I can't believe some of you are condoning his behaviour. There is no excuse for someone behaving so aggressively. From what OP says he was more interested in abusing her than checking his dog was ok. I too would be upset if my dog was attacked but my absolute priority would be checking that he is ok and I would be civilised towards the other owner whilst expressing my unhappiness.

OP sorry you feel so shaken up. Were your dogs on their leads and approached by the other dog?

Branleuse · 13/12/2013 10:02

I think if you have vicious unmuzzled dogs, then you dont get to complain about the responses of anyone else when their dogs are attacked, and you should be grateful it wasnt a child that annoyed your dogs that day.

"ok im sorry my vicious dogs attacked, but you really shouldnt have been rude to me about it" is not an apology

Branleuse · 13/12/2013 10:03

and how come you carried on walking them for an hour after theyd attacked???

Marrow · 13/12/2013 10:04

Cross posted.

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/12/2013 10:04

Legally, your dogs were not a problem his dog was the one out of control.

A lot of dogs, even if they are not dog aggressive normally will feel uncomfortable if they are on lead and approached by loose dogs.

Muzzle training might help you feel more in control OP, if this is something likely to happen again, but if it was a one off, I'd just chalk it down to experience and hope that this man learns to control his dog in future, if not it'll end up getting attacked a few times

Elliptic5 · 13/12/2013 10:06

I'm sorry to hear this, as a dog owner I understand dogs on a lead can sometimes be more aggressive than when off the lead. What sort of dogs are they?
I know how upsetting it is to have your dog attacked, but I can also see how upsetting it is for you; unfortunately it's difficult in the heat of the moment for people to be objective especially when you are still struggling with the dogs.
If you know the person it might be helpful to go and see him to make sure his dog is ok.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/12/2013 10:08

It was an unhappy incident all round. I'd be upset if I'd been in your shoes too - there was fault on both sides. Calm down, move on. If you need some support and advice on how to avoid similar incidents in future, if you start another thread I'm sure that you will get a positive response.

Did this happen right outside your own gate i.e was it a territorial response from your dogs? If so then just making sure you're out of the gate first and making sure the coast is clear would be wise. My last dog had a real go at a dog he'd met before (and merely tried to hump) when they visited our house and it was trotting happily towards our door.

Anyway, good luck with whatever training you do.

tracypenisbeaker · 13/12/2013 10:09

Eh? Am I fucking missing something here? Her dogs were on a lead! His weren't....

LastOneDancing · 13/12/2013 10:11

I don't understand the hostility to the OP. She apologised, took responsibility, was willing to pay vets bills but the guy was threatening & abusive and posters are saying that's reasonable?! What more would you expect from her in that moment?!

It's not ok for a grown man to face off and get physically intimidating with a woman who's on her own. Ever.

EmpressOfThe7WillowsandTaras · 13/12/2013 10:11

But they were on the lead and OP did pull them away. And from her horrified reaction, this hasn't happened before, and she says she's going to take steps to stop it happening again.

That's not an irresponsible owner, is it?

kaymondo · 13/12/2013 10:11

If the OP's dogs were on lead then they were under control - it was his off-lead dog that wasn't. Dogs on lead will often get aggressive when approached by other dogs, it's nature, fight or flight, but they can't do flight as they're on lead.

I think his response was entirely unacceptable especially when op was apologising and trying to check if his dog was okay.

Hope you're feeling a bit calmer now op.

ButThereAgain · 13/12/2013 10:13

Branleuse why on earth shouldn't she carry on walking them after they had attacked? It happens dogs on leads will often feel threatened by an unleashed dog and will attack if it comes close. The other dog apparently wasn't harmed, which suggests this was the kind of horrible snappy bluster that is quite a common. This isn't some huge atrocity it is an unfortunate and upsetting thing to have occurred. That's all.

Both parties were incredibly upset, naturally. Perhaps (and perhaps not) the man's behaviour was understandable. But equally, it is understandable that the op is upset, and I think she should feel that she can expect some understanding and support here. She knows her dog's behaviour was not acceptable and she apologised.

tabulahrasa · 13/12/2013 10:14

Ah it's horrible when your dog does something awful that you weren't expecting - I agree that there was no need for him to be so aggressive when you'd dealt with the situation and were trying to apologize and find out if his dog was ok...but he'll have been upset too.

ohtobemeagain · 13/12/2013 10:15

If your dogs were leashed and his wasn't then it is him who didn't have control.

How are your dogs normally with other dogs? If they can be aggressive then yes, you deserve the lashing you're getting here, but if this is out of character, then you couldn't be expected to have them muzzled.

Lay off the OP until we know the facts

D0oinMeCleanin · 13/12/2013 10:15

And why wouldn't she carry on walking, Bran? What's she meant to do, take them home and send them to their room to think about their behavior?

They're dogs, they need exercise and according to the canine commandments, in their eyes they were in the right. It is very rude for loose dogs to run upto leashed dogs and they risk a telling off if they do, which is what happened here. Normal dog behavior.

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