is it as wrong to convince DH to have a dog that he doesn't want in the same way as convinvig him to have a baby he doesn't want?

[NeverKnowinglyUnderstood]

we have 2 cats
I LOVE dogs,
have talked about having a dog since we got together
ds1 really wants a dog, he knows it takes work my wider families have dogs.
DS2 has just got his stuff together and realised that all the dogs that are around him are WONDERFUL well trained gentle and kind and not something to be fearful of.

DH does NOT want a dog.

should I work on him or is that as unfair as convincing him to have a baby he doesn't want?

My husband loves cats.... he would LOVE a cat. He would ever however try and talk me into one knowing how I feel about them. We've had that discussion.

Does he have a reason for not wanting one?

Same here OP
We had a dog for 14 yrs , I convinced dh to get her because at the time we had dd and thought we couldn't have anymore so company for her etc.

He enjoyed having the dog but he's not a dog person .

Our dog died about 4 yrs ago now and dd,ds and I all want another one...he doesn't.

My argument is , why should one persons feelings dictate such a large part of everyone's life.

My analogy was , he plays golf which affects the rest of the family hugely..whole weekends are devoured with him playing golf.I don't expect him to stop playing golf...he loves it.

I am not keen on dogs. There is no way I would ever have one in my home no matter how much dh and dd wanted one. Dd would love a dog but luckily dh, although loves dogs, knows it wouldn't be practical as we both work and are out and about a lot. He also knows how I feel and would never push it anyway.

If anyone tried to Mae me have a dog at home it would be a serious issue tbh. I wouldn't be happy and would need to seriously consider if I was even welcome there anymore for my loved ones to ignore my wants so much.

I see it similar to having a baby - both parties (well in case of a pet - all parties) need to be in agreement before you go ahead.

Mmm. It's a hard one isn't it?

On balance, I would say no, as having a dog is such a huge commitment. You all need to be on board with it I think.

My caveat is that DH did not want our Springer at all, it took us 2 years to persuade him to get a dog and a lot of alcohol...

From the moment that little puppy arrived in our lives, DH has adored the very bones of him, the bond between the two of them is so strong. He is bi-polar, and having the dog has had more of a positive affect on his mental health than any medication that he might take.

He trains the dog at 6am each morning, grooms him, loves him, the dog follows him round like a lost soul, they go off for hours at the weekend.

I am lucky, it worked out fabulously for us, in fact I struggled to adjust to having a dog and DH didn't, but just remember, all that care and training would be down to you if your DH didn't bond.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

And remember, DC are great with dogs for limited periods only!!!

Ps. I did kind of know how DH would react, we've been together a long time, he needs a gentle coaxing from time to time. For example, he never fancied the idea of kids!!

If in doubt, don't.

If you want a dog get one you are entitled to the things you want just as much as DH but its your responsibility and if DH doesn't want it he cant be expected to feed, walk, clean up after, let out or contribute to its care

If you are on a tight budget i could understand the hesitation on DH's part as they can cost a lot and it need's to be taken into consideration or if they have an allergy/fear it's just not fair

We have 2 dogs at home and i love both, I have one and my DP has one they are not nor will they ever be "family" dogs nor are they "our" dogs that doesn't mean i only feed/walk my lad but they are not everyone's responsibility if the other person doesn't want them in the first place x

A dog is a commitment and personally I don't think you should get one if your dh is not happy about it. He needs to be really. It's very well saying you will do xyz with dog, but what if you are ill? Hurt yourself so you cannot walk the dog?
Mind you I suppose single people have dogs......
I am having an argument with myself now
I suppose if it was me, I wouldn't have married him, but that's not helpful :o

lol Owl I never even thought to ask my husband before we got married.

We'd had a dog when growing up and it never crossed my mind that there were people who didn't like dogs! It only became an issue when I was made redundant a few years ago and realised that it was a good time to get a dog.

It took me about 3 years to persuade him to agree to a foster dog, which we had for 7 weeks before she went to a forever home. He was very good with her and took her for some walks when I felt ill and liked her but I was always a bit on edge. Felt like I couldn't fully enjoy having the dog at home, worried about mess she made (hair, mud etc) and having to immediately take her downstairs when she followed me up because he didn't agree to her being upstairs at all.

So, for those reasons, it was a bit of a relief when the dog left our house, although she was really lovely. So I understand both sides and can't imagine it would be stress-free for either person

I had my first dog as an adult, when I had my first flat at 18 :) we were together though. She always worshipped the ground he walked on! But she thought she was my mum :o

She being the dog

I used to not want a dog, as DH worked abroad a lot, and out socially, on his own, at weekends, and I thought it was not fair for him to get a dog if it would be 95% me looking after her.

It was not to do with not liking them (I do), but dimply the complicated logistics of kids and work and a largely ebsent DH.

Now that we changed DH work, and mine, we could look after her between us, and now I feel we CAN have one (hurray).

But I always said no due to practicalities.

So, does your DH not like dogs ( in which case it would be unfair to push ) or does he not like certain things like you wanting the dog upstairs, him having to do more cleaning, etc.?

I think it depends on how much he doesn't want a dog.

My DF grew up with dogs and loves animals. My DM is not an animal person and really not a dog person. She was upfront about that & really not interested in freezing cold winter walks and picking up dog shit. I think that's fair enough.

I'm not a dog person either, but if my lifestyle didn't preclude it (we work and travel way too much for it to be fair to an animal like a dog) I could be convinced as I'm much more ambivalent than my DM (who at a push would probably say she didn't like dogs, but has liked the odd one or two that friends have had).

If your DH is the former then I think it's unfair. If you can't look after it, he has to, so you'd be giving him extra responsibility and he's getting nothing from it.