Dear doggy people, can you advice me? Our first dog

[FiscalCliffRocksThisTown]

DH has always and dogs as a child, and had his own puppy as a teen, so he knows about dogs.

But I know nothing! Currently trawling the net...

We have thought about having a dog for years, and now that our work situation has changed (DH works shorter hours in his new career, and I can work from home) we would LOVE to get a puppy/young dog.

We have 2 DC, 9 and 11, they would absolutely love a dog in the house too.

Now, where to start? I was thinking a rescue dog, some kind of mix.

But would the rescue centre give us a dog? (they seem to ask mainly for experienced dog owners). Is it a bad idea to get a rescue pup as…you don't really know what they'll be like when bigger? Would a collie-cross be very un-sensible for example? (is anything collie too nervous\ tricky with kids? I have such a weak spot for them, love intelligent dogs)

I really need to know a bit more about what would work for us as a family before we choose…

Anyone had rescue puppy/young dog, and did it work out well? Is a young dog a bad idea, in case they are "damaged" psychologically for ever/might turn on you?

Any advice by experienced dog owners much appreciated!

Our first dog was a rescue dog from the Dogs Trust. Neither of us had had our own dog before, though DH had grown up with dogs in the house.

It wasn't a problem, though they were quite cautious about which dog they'd give us as first-time owners - we were passed over for several that we thought would be suitable - so you might have to be patient. Of course as you have children that narrows the choice further, as the dog would have to be suitable to live with kids (though as yours are older it shouldn't be a big problem, it's more when there are under-5s that rescues are often reluctant).

We've always adopted older dogs, so I don't have experience of rescue pups as such. They obviously need all the training, socialisation that any puppy would. Yes, sadly there are dogs in rescue who have behavioural problems due to abuse and neglect in their past, though no good rescue centre would give one of those to inexperienced first-time owners with children at home! There are also well-trained dogs who've grown up in family homes, but have had to be given up due to unavoidable problems (financial, housing-related, owner's health etc) - this was the case with our first one.

I would say (if you're going the rescue route) don't get too fixated on particular breeds etc, finding a suitable match is often more about the individual dog and its history and temperament than anything else.

Thanks Ephiny, I know you are right about the breed. Am trying to keep an open mind!

Maybe if we go to the rescue as a family, they can match us up with the "right" pup/dog.

Yes, lots of rescues will consider you despite the children - and they are older which makes it even easier. We adopted a lurcher last year when DS was 7 - no issues.

I would suggest that you start out by sitting down and being very realistic what you could offer a dog and what you would like from a dog.

We went for lurchers as we wanted something that could cope with being on the go all the time when on holiday - but settle into a normal 'home' routine with one or two decent walks and a sleep on the sofa for the rest of the day. She will play with DS whenever he wants to play with her, but won't pester us to play (most of the time at least).

Ours was adult when we got her - but we had to housetrain her as she had never been in a house before.

mistletrush, I love lurchers and the boys adore their gran's lurchers.

We would take a dog out for 2 good walks a day (me morning, DH after work at 4-5) and it would get rather a lot of cuddles and attention in the house too.

The thing is, the woods and fields behind our house are full of deer and my only worry with a lurcher is that it would run off with the deer! (and into the road).

Yes, deer could be a problem. Although there are (a few) luchers that have no prey drive. But we've not had a problem with our lurcher with deer - and yet we had a collie cross that was awful about them - went missing once for 4 hrs and came back without a care in the world having had a lovely run - not understanding why we were worried. And then we had a collie terrier mix (I thoroughly recommend you don't get this mix) who was a killing machine - yet our lurcher hasn't caught anything in the year she has been with us (she tends to stalk which is not very effective).

You could try contacting a lurcher rescue and finding out whether they've got any in foster that don't have a high prey drive that might be suitable?

We have a Patterdale x who we got from Battersea when he was about 15 weeks ,he'd been handed in as a stray . Apart from being totally unreliable around anything small and furry he is the perfect family pet . Have a look at Many Tears they often have lots of puppies and young dogs that have been in foster homes so are well socialised.

We have had two collie terrier mixes and they have both been very loving, clever and obedient dogs who wouldn't harm a fly. So I think it's very much depends on individual personalities and training. We had them from the dogs trust many years ago. I did agility with the youngest dog as a teen, used to love it.
Having said that, I wouldn't get a full collie dog as they are too much work, my friends parents had one that would need walking for 4 hours a day and still run up and down the garden after!
When we have a dog in the future, I think I would go for an English cocker spaniel as they are very clever and loyal. Also I bit smaller for being around children. It's hard to decide though.

Pointeshoes - you were lucky! Our collie terrier had the energy and speed of the collie (so would happily be on the go from 7am - 10pm - regularly got 2 long walks and would still spend hours playing in the (large) garden with the other collie cross) with the determination and quick temper of some terriers. If there was a scrap she wanted to be in the middle of it, even if she had nothing to do with it starting and didn't know what it was about. On walks she was normally to be found about 400m away in the nearest hedge bottom, killing anything that she found. She once managed to catch a wood pigeon that was flying. Balls were for wimps apparently. She had three modes - very happy, with tail wagging furiously, very unhappy, and telling you all about it quite loudly or asleep. She was a lovely dog, but it required a dog-savy household to accommodate her and she wasn't easy even then.

Oh - and we had her from 4 months (3rd home at that stage) and she was well trained and would walk to heel without a lead on if you asked her to.. its just that she had an extremely high prey-drive and speed and determination on top of it.

A collie is NOT a starter dog. They are fabulous dogs, but really need an AWFUL lot of stimulation or they become neurotic. Theyre workers and really do need that.

I would go and see if there are any dogs /pups you click with.

Maybe consider a staffie or staffie cross? Theyre really really intelligent and trainable

Yes I remember DH was very keen on the idea of a border collie when we were looking for our first dog, but once we did our research it was obvious that with our lifestyle and where we live, we probably wouldn't be able to give it the exercise and mental stimulation needed.

I was just saying about keeping an open mind on breed, because I had a whole list of characteristics I was looking for in a dog age, sex, size, colour, acceptable breeds etc and what we actually ended up with was the complete opposite in every way. He was also the perfect dog for us :)

I would keep an open mind too
I think you are all too harsh on collies though ;)
All mine hAve been lovely but I have always had them, even as a child and I think you are either a collie owner or you aren't
They are all different though :) but these well behaved one's you see on tv have been trained for years! I have a young one atm, also recuse, and she is 18 months ish. Nothing like a draft excluded type dog, more the complete opposite and I imagine she w I'll be pup like until she is at least 5 or 6 or 7 or more
Some people can't cope with that, personally it suits us

I love collies - but they need a lot of input - exercise but also mental stimulation. We decided that something slightly less taxing would suit our lifestyle better at the moment! Our lurcher doesn't have any collie in her and is a bit dim. Actually I think that she doesn't let on how clever she is really - but I still don't think that she would score highly for IQ. But she is a super dog - and it is actually quite fulfilling when you eventually teach her something - its a real achievement - like hitting her nose with a biscuit every day for 9 months - I spent 5 mins one night on what was happening (I showed her I was going to throw the biscuit but instead took it along a similar arc and let her eat it immediately) and she suddenly worked out what we were trying to achieve - she can now catch treats I've thrown about 95% of the time, and DS's about 60% of the time (depends upon DS warning her that he is going to throw something and then throwing it on a sensible trajectory). However, for a dog that didn't know that the words which she was hearing actually had any relevance to her at all, she's doing really well.

In terms of finding a dog that fits into your lifestyle, there are a few good breed selector quizzes on the internet - I wouldn't use them for the recommendations (they can come up with very odd ones sometimes, and as one PP said, it's better not to fixate on one breed), rather to think about the types of criteria - energy level, grooming, intelligence, biddability, prey drive, how closely they bond with their people, tolerance for rough play (even over 5s can be boisterous with dogs) etc. That will help you in conversations with a rescue home.

As far as rescue puppies vs older dogs go, both can work out. I grew up with both. Older dogs have the advantage of having a more developed personality, but they can also have experienced more trauma in their life, and puppies can be shaped by you. The rescue should be able to help you with a suitable dog though. The wait list is longer for puppies, typically.

I wouldn't worry about not having dogs before - every experienced dog owner had a first dog at some point! Just make sure you go to puppy classes (if you get a puppy) or obedience classes (if you get an older dog) so you can learn how to communicate effectively with your dog (with the kids ideally). And get a decent puppy book - we used The Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey, it was great.

There are, of course, breed-specific rescues, if you definitely want a particular breed (our second dog came from breed rescue, and it's likely future ones will too -- once you get used to a particular breed it's hard to imagine having anything else!). But there's a lot to be said for the open-mind approach, especially when it's your first dog.

I would agree the collies are high energy dogs and probably not the best bet for a first dog.

In general I think being aware of a couple of things helps:

• genetics are really important. If the bitch or dog have serious problems they are likely to be passed on to the puppies. The problem with rescue puppies is that you are unlikely to know a lot about the parents and the puppies may well be an accident rather than having been purposefully bred for the job you want (family pet). Having said that you can also be lucky.

• puppies should stay with their mothers until at least 6 weeks old, idealy a bit longer till 8 weeks. Puppies that are removed from their mother earlier than this may have socialisation problems with other dogs.

• puppies should be socialised with people and the world as much as possible between 8 weeks and the end of the socialisation window around 14 weeks. Puppies that miss out on this opportunity for socialisation are much more likely to have problems later on. This is a really crucial point. If you get rescue puppies you must make sure they were in a foster environment and the forster family have put in the work to socialise them.

• the main issues you have with puppies are sleepless nights, toilet training, chewing and mouthing although the puppies are usually super cute and it's easy to forgive them. Entrenched behavioural problems usually emerge between 12 and 24 months old, which is the point that most people want to rehome their formerly cute puppies. Beware of rehoming at this age, you are almost certainly taking on a dog with problems. Of course problems can be worked through with training but it's not an ideal situation to be in as a first time dog owner.

• training is an on going commitment in a dog's life. You should aim for puppy parties (fun and socialisation for puppies) and for about a year or two of training classes (yes I know it sounds a lot but if you want to avoid the teenage years problems you want a solid foundation) plus on going training through out the dog's life by everyone in the family. I would strongly recommend a trainer who uses positive reward methods.

Two children of your age shouldn't be a problem, it's usually younger children because they can be unpredictable, loud and their jerky movements can make dogs nervous.

Contact a few rescues in the New Year. I would go for an older dog but that's because puppies are sooooo much hard work, you can get a slightly older dog from a rescue who's been living in a foster home with kids/other dogs/cats etc so you'll know what you're getting. They will have basic training in place, know what it's like to live n a house with kids and you'll get an assessment from the foster home.

I would say a dog like Sabina would suit very well

I know mistlehound has suggested a lurcher and I agree that that might be a good fit for your family, have you considered a greyhound?

I am biased as we have only had ours 10 weeks and he is fabulous so I tend to bang on about him at any opportunity . They are however great dogs, can cope with a basic 2 x 20 mins walk a day and sleep the rest or can walk miles with us at weekends. They tend to be retired from racing young so whilst not puppies, still young dogs with bags of life and love left to give.

Oh look at me, Sabina!
I am soooo happy, soooo smiley!
Sooooo lovely!
And I am ever so pwwritty too :)

Isn't she lovely, Owllady - she'd be snapped up in an instant if she was in the UK. It's such a shame.

She's actually from a lovely, small shelter in Croatia. They did a live webcam from there a few weeks ago and all the dogs were so sweet, large and small getting on together with some great volunteers spending the day with them. So relaxed and chilled, it was great.

I would have suggested something like Martha who is in foster and appears to love children...

Martha seems like a really nice dog, one of those girls that just wants to please you

EGLR have some lovely young dogs looking for homes. Our lurcher came to us from them aged 6 months, and as I work from home he's perfect - snoring by me all day, ready to play with ds when he comes home, out and about all weekend.

I love collies, and my parents had two, but that only worked as dad was retired and outside all day. And they still needed more working tbh

Thanks for lovely and helpful replies!

Am really falling in love with the idea of a lurcher, will start visiting some of the rescues after Christmas. The ones tgat are in foster are a good idea, I did not know people fostered dogs, they must be great people.

Had my SIL to visit with her 2 lurchers, they have a gentleness I love, and such a joy to walk with!

... And I will have my collie later, maybe once retired, not giving up on that idea yet ;)