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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Would you rehome a dog snapping at your toddler?(not a knee jerk reaction to events in media...trying to resolve this for months)

82 replies

Louisiasb · 09/11/2013 23:16

Hi, I have 7 year old cockatoo and 18 month old dd. dog growls at dd if she walks past crate or sleeping. I have taught dd that she is not allowed to approach dogs when sleeping or in crate.however she has ignored this when I am busy and dog has snapped at her 3 times.

Dog is only allowed to sleep in crate and I know warning signs.however I am nervous that I can't trust dog as dd was very traumatised after incidents. Growling has also progressed to snapping.

I am not sure what to do. House is too small to keep separate unless dog crated all day. Dd very boisterous and don't trust her to leave alone. Have spoken to behaviourists but as house is too small there isn't much i can do.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 10/11/2013 10:44

I would definitely re home the dog. Dogs and small children are a really difficult combination. Maybe have another one when DD is older? If you got the dog from a breeder they might take the dog back or suggest someone else who would like it?

It is a really hard decision to make though especially when you have had your dog a long time.

mrslaughan · 10/11/2013 14:47

Iridog - did you not read the last line of her post?

sonlypuppyfat · 10/11/2013 15:08

LEM am I supposed to feel guilty for putting my dog down? Sorry I don't.

idirdog · 10/11/2013 15:44

MrsLaughan last line of her post - give me a clue?

If you mean the comment re the behaviourist by the OP. Then I am very surprised that she needs to ask on here. As mentioned already a qualified behaviourist would have seen the situation given her a treatment plan and fully assessed the situation in RL. The OP would have no need to ask a bunch of strangers who can not see the situation and have no training in dog behaviour.

If that did not happen then she did not speak to a qualified professional hence my question to see what professional advice she had been given. If she just spoke to a person who trains dogs it is like asking a first aider to treat your terminal illness.

Ecuador · 10/11/2013 15:55

Trouble is all the training in the world isn't going to help if you have an 18 month old toddler in the mix. The dog may well get it but a small child just won't and unreasonable to expect them to.

I would say sadly you will need to re-home for your piece of mind, as for your DH mmm.... that is harder. Have you had a proper sit down discussion with him about it?

hettienne · 10/11/2013 15:59

If it is not possible to separate/supervise the toddler and dog at all times then I think your options are limited. Both of them sound stressed by the situation.

idirdog · 10/11/2013 16:54

Ecuador do you have dog psychology and training experience?

Counter conditioning and stimulus control can in most cases sort out dog anxiety in specific situations - it does require work from the owner though

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 17:15

That says quite alot about you then. I Worked as a vet nurse for ten years and had to assist with many pts. The owners were heart broken and often so were we. Yes. You absolutely should feel bad unless there are factors you haven't included you dound heartless. Sadly its not unusual, for some people animals are dispensable.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/11/2013 17:34

The dog adored my DH it was a gun dog and well trained it did anything he said. BUT as soon as my DH went to work the dog would make our life a misery it would lie on the stairs and go for us if we walked past him he would growl and snap at my 3 kids he just didn't want us there.

Ecuador · 10/11/2013 17:40

iridog, no but I have a dog and children. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that you can't 'train' an 18 month old toddler no matter what headway you may make with the dog.

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 17:44

So the dog was a working dog that was loyal to its master and then expected to fit in with family life. What a way to repay him . :(

PoshPenny · 10/11/2013 17:55

I think the answer would be to re home the dog in a family with older or no children, heartbreaking as I am sure that will be for you. We had a tricky dog years ago and I did everything I could to resolve things, but I failed and there was unprovoked attack on my then 3 year old, he got her on her upper lip and we had to have maxillofacial guys stitch her up. Just not worth the risk or the distress and guilt we felt for letting our little girl be hurt like that, before then it had just been hands he had bitten. In our case there was a problem with the dog, he would fly without any warning. we were absolutely honest about what he did to give him the best chance in a new home, but he bit someone badly there without warning, and we all agreed the best thing for Chas (the dog) was one final trip to the vet.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/11/2013 18:58

Oh LEM I can just imagine what you are like. Perhaps we should have moved into the shed and left em to it.

Lilcamper · 10/11/2013 19:10

Will just reiterate what Idirdog said, this can be fairly easily overcome with environmental management and an APBC qualified behaviourist. Vet referrals to a behaviourist are often covered by pet insurance.

Frankly disgusted at a working gun dog being rewarded for his work by being euthanised. Says it all really when the poster refers to the dog as an 'it' instead of he or she.

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:26

Can you? do you think im over sentimental then? well, i'm not but you can think what you like. We used to get folk come into the vets all the time who used animals rather than loving them (despite their claims) , had to put down many a healthy dog :( but we maintained our professionality and were polite and friendly - didn't stop us from calling those people cunts when they left though.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/11/2013 19:33

Sshh you are being a silly girl now no dog that bites a child unprovoked deserves to live and if you think that then I'm not the cunt.

mrslaughan · 10/11/2013 19:33

Yes Iridog - I did mean that she had consulted Behaviourists and none had a plan that was workable in her space. I am not going to judge whether the behaviourists know what they are doing, whether the OP could follow it if she tried harder...she is saying she can't......with that said, personally I think she would be better to re-home, before the dogs ends up with the same fate as one of the other posters.....

The dog is stressed by the child, I am guessing it is not an option for the OP to rehome her child.......though no-one has asked that question?

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:37

And no, don't be so fucking ridiculous, you shouldn't have moved to the shed, you should have moved the dog to the shed actually, it was a working dog and obviously not able for family life. I have quite a lot of experience of working dogs and some of them will not do well as part of the family, but thats why you shouldn't be over sentimental and keep them as part of the family home and then kill them when it goes wrong.

lilcamper sadly this happens alot, we used to have people with working dogs who treated dogs as that really, workers (although to be fair, most of the people who had gundogs treasured their dogs and would have not pts they would have made the effort to find the dog a suitable home) and worst of all was the greyhound owners - many a time we had to euth beautiful dogs that were no longer "any use" to their owners cunts. It was part of the job I hated, yes you have to be quite objective as a vet nurse or you couldn't do your job properly but it didn't stop me forming an opinion.

Anyway - this is digressing from the OP - I absolutely think you are doing the right thing by rehoming the dog, I can understand why your DH feels as he does, this is your dog and she is part of your family but she is not happy with your child around, not your fault, it happens and the key thing is that actually rehoming is by far the best thing for your dog, even if she never actually bites your child, its stressful for her. She will find the transition hard but she will find a loving and happy home (she is a very desirable breed and you already have foster home in place) and sorry but she will forget you and be happy (not that you haven't made her happy). I found myself in a very similar situation, took on a rescue dog, with issues, huge dog and then out of the blue i had a baby, it becamse apparent quite early on that i wasn't going to be able to keep the dog so i set about trying to find him a home, sadly fate took over and he passed away, but had he not i would have had the heartbreaking decision you face, but you have to put your child's safety first. As others have said, don't let this put you off having another dog when your DD is a bit older.

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:40

I'd rather be then cunt then....... it was your fault your dog ended up like it did and you should be ashamed of yourself.

sonlypuppyfat · 10/11/2013 19:42

Well I'm not.

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:43

idirdog, i usually agree with you on these sort of threads, however as far as I can see the OP has got something in place for the dog (she is actually very lucky!) and i thnk its the right decision for the dog to go to a family without children. Its not the dogs fault, i don't think its the OPs fault either. Sometimes rehoming is the best choice and i would recommend it everytime if the situation was different to the reality (that suitable homes are so difficult to find).

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:44

No, i wouldn't think for one minute that you are

LEMisafucker · 10/11/2013 19:48

Rehoming isn't a bad thing, it is sometimes not achievable and dogs end up long term kennel inmates (that makes me sad and angry) but when it is achieved, if its the forever home then its fine - after all, my little brown rescue dog is sat on my lap while i type this and he has a pretty good life, i don't know his history actually as i think him and his brother were abandoned as strays, the same as my old dog that was a rescue - we didn't have him many years as illness took him from us, but he had a good life with us and would have had a good life with whoever took him on from us (becaue i would have bloodywell made sure of it).

Lilcamper · 10/11/2013 20:00

LEM wear your cunt label with pride, OP hasn't said what type of behaviourist she has had in, there are some dodgy ones out there, anyone can hang a shingle out an call themselves one.

Lots of dogs find little humans scary, lots of families work through it.

DeathByLaundry · 10/11/2013 20:14

In my fairly broad experience of qualified behaviourists it's unusual for owners to consult more than one, because good ones usually provide pretty much unlimited follow up support. Unless the owner is seeking a quick fix or hasn't properly the advice given, in which case they will often seek second or third opinions in their quest for an effort-free solution.

I've lived with children-fearful dogs in a small house - I still do. It's very much possible. But at 18 months of age your expectations of your child are totally unrealistic. I don't trust my three year old to remember the dog rules, it would have been completely insane to rely on her to follow them at half her age.

A room divider is what you need. And a plan from a behaviourist, which you follow to the letter with their support. A proper APBC counsellor, not some random person who calls themselves a dog whisperer or who has done a vague course on 'dog psychology'.

This is not about whether the problem is surmountable OP. It is about whether you are willing to devote the necessary time and effort. If the first 4 behaviourists were worth their salt and you followed their plans, you would have made progress by now or at least taken steps to better manage the situation.