New Puppy Mummies Part 2

[SallyBear]

Just thought I'd start the new thread!

Toby (foxy coloured yellow Labrador) is now 13 weeks old. Long, lean and lanky. Still wonderfully tempered and is sleeping through and no longer messing in the house.

Gosh. £20 cheaper that Argoose.

Bun, wow! No wonder you're exhausted! I really sympathise with what you're going through. I'm not sure what to say to make you feel better either! Im probably not a good one to give advice! Floyd is 14 weeks on Monday and still has bursts of all out aggression. Puppy classes start on Sunday , thank god, but really wondering if we have made the wrong decision. We have had him since 9 weeks and to be honest, there hasn't been a day that we have been totally happy with our decision. I feel truly awful saying this but I just don't know if this is right for us - and my dh is simply more important! God, that's terrible :/ it's just he doesn't seem to be getting housetrained - despite crate and taking him outside after nap play food water excitement etc, he is still VERY bitey, very snappy...and now has taken to barking and howling incredibly loudly for no reason...? At least not one we can figure out! Oh help!!!

What breed is Floyd?

Have you rung the breeder? Seriously that's what I did when Toby was a pita and she was brilliant. Also breed forums are really helpful too.

He's a Soft Coated Wheaten Sally.

Ohalvo, I doubt it's true aggression in such a young puppy. Wheatens are terriers and it sounds like fairly typical terrier behaviour - they tend to do everything with gusto and exuberance, unfortunately that means it can take a while for them to suss that they can't play the same way with you that they do with their litter mates.

Is he having regular naps throughout the day. The behaviour you describe could be down to overstimulation. If he starts getting manic and bitey and he hasn't had a sleep for a while, try settling him down in his bed and enforce a nap - just like you would with a toddler.

Conversely, it could be down to boredom. How much stimulation is he getting on trips out and about? If you take him somewhere different each day, even for just a short while that will help to wear him out as he'll need time to process all his new experiences.

Finally, don't be afraid to withdraw all attention for undesirable behaviour, such as nipping or snapping. Time-outs, if used carefully and appropriately can be a really valuable training tool, as fundamentally our pups just want to be with us all the time.

I know it feels like a long time, but he's still very young and just like potty training, it can take some dogs longer than others to manage house training.

Have you joined the Soft Coated Wheaten Club of GB? We were given membership as part of the deal when we got our girl and they are very knowledgeable and helpful, although some of the members are a little old-fashioned when it comes to training I notice on their puppy care and training page. (They advocate tapping the nose and/or putting your hand in their mouth and whimpering/crying for biting/nipping. )

There's some good advice on this breeder's website re character/temperament and training of Wheatens.

Hi ya hope you all have had a good day. I just thought I would pop in and say that I think I have found out what maybe the issue with me feeding Jess the bones. As she is eating the kibble most of the time it could be that this hasn't been digested as it takes quite some time. she then is having the bone on top. So finding it quite a lot to take in and struggling in the night. So may have to work out a plan of some sort.
We met a puppy younger than her today at the park. She was alittle manic with him. He was 13 weeks and was just laying on his back so cute. I don't think she could believe her luck to find someone who wasnt dominating her for once!

I'm just exhausted - one month in and it feels like years. I just feel he would perhaps be happier and be trained properly by a family who could give him a better home. I'm very embarrassed.

He's having regular naps, as well as plenty of new experiences. Went to the beach today and instead of exploring and enjoying it, he was jumping , biting and snapping at my friend and I the whole time. He barked the whole way there and back in the car - despite having been fine in the car on a 3 hour journey up North a few weekends ago and having plenty of experience in the car.

I have emailed my breeder so hopefully she can shed some light.

So sad to even consider the fact that either he is not for us or we are not for him!

Aww bless it can be tough going , and some days you feel yes it's clicked in to then find out you are back at square one.

Ohalvo - it is really tough and at times feels like it's all going backwards. But can you see if there is a general pattern of progress and settling?

I have been feeling quite similar to you - quietly regretting our decision, fantasising about it all being solved somehow (usually by a lovely experienced family begging us to let our dog go and live with them!) and wishing someone would come along and give me the quiet, well behaved dog I dreamed of.

Some dogs seem much harder to train and settle than others. Like children, maybe related to personality as much as what new owners do.

I had an off lead attempt at walking the other day, only going to try a few minutes and our puppy went loopy, leaping up at me, biting my coat, barking at me. Horrid, so lead back on and I felt I was getting it all wrong.

Keep on going, if you can see positive signs and progress then maybe it's just going to take a little longer to get there. But there is hope from reading about some of those puppies that are a bit older and through the worst.

It's so great to have a thread like this with people going through the sane things. Biting and jumping on the DCs is still a huge issue with us, funnily enough today she was home alone with me for 4 hours, we had a nice 20 min walk then a play in the garden then she just pottered around after me or chewed her pigs ear, no biting at all. DS is terrible with her he kicks her and is generally very aggressive with her, of course we are telling him off every time.

The house is like an experiment in minimalism, there's nothing lying around as it gets eaten, the poor DC have to get ready in the playroom now as she eats clothes.

She's 12 weeks today so looking for her to start calming down a little.

I think we have decided that the best thing would be for Floyd to go to to a family who can take care of him and train him in the way that we cant. I think an experienced dog owner - preferably wheaten - would be best. Of course we will keep him until we find someone, and not adjust anyone but the right person. It's breaking my heart to say this but I really do think that it would best for little floyd. I know everyone is saying we should give it more time etc and enjoy this puppy period, but perhaps we are just not meant for this - we have been exhausted and stressed since the day we got him, and I'm sure he feels he same. Now this is the awful part - how do we go about this? We have puppy class on Sunday so will be going to that regardless. Maybe my vet can help? Am I the most hated member of this group now? Thank everyone for such great support - it's so sad to admit that maybe we simply can't do this. X

Hi Ohalvo - it IS exhausting and stressful and you constantly worry if you're doing the right thing - just like with babies. To be honest there were times in the first few weeks with ds1 when if someone experienced had offered to rehome him I would have been seriously tempted, but of course you don't really have that option with babies ....

If you are genuinely getting no pleasure out of Floyd being part of your family then I'd have thought your first call should be to the breeder - our contract says if we ever can't look after Fitz then he has to go back to the breeder - if that's not the case with Floyd's breeder then I presume there's a breed club who should be able to advise

Basildonbound - this is just awful. As soon as I pressed 'post message ' I felt guilty. I wonder if we are giving up too soon, or if by rehoming at this stage he has more chance of being adopted by a home who really is best for him? I spoke to our breeder but because of his aggression - she was shocked that he was biting so much, even went for my neck when carrying him - she won't take him back. She suggested puppy classes, the first if which is on Sunday. I wonder if we should try until the end of the classes (6weeks) and see how we are then?

My work is a bit up in the air ATM and it's possible that in the next few weeks / months I may have a full time position instead of one where I'm out two days a week and can come one at lunch etc. this is also a consideration of course.

Floyd is not affectionate at all - which is difficult for us as we don't feel like we are getting anything back from him . Does that make sense? It's just constant give, and he has yet to cuddle us or show any kind of affection towards me or my partner. I understand some dogs must just be like this but it's not what we anticipated from puppy life at all. :(

Ohalvo, are you experienced dog owners? Maybe you just didn't pick the right breed for your family. If the breeder won't take him back (check your contract), try the Cairn Terrier Group and see if they will take him or failing that try the RSPCA.

If you are still willing to try, then before you decide to give him up I would take him first to see the vet, because maybe there is something physically wrong with him, and then I'd also call in a dog psych to see what they think. Terriers are notoriously nippy, but it sounds like you are all unhappy with each other.

Ohalvo, I was talking to dh last night we were remembering what a little sod our Wheaten girl was as a puppy. She had me in tears on several occasions and I genuinely didn't think she cared for me at all. On one memorable occasions she stole a bone and took it under the dining table - stupidly I stuck my hand in to get it back and she proper bit me. I was ready to give her back there and then. She also used to food guard and would bite anyone who went near her food bowl - we think as she came from a very big litter and had to compete for the food bowl. BUT she wasn't aggressive, she grew to be the softest, gentlest girl - even when we had the dcs she never once reacted badly to any of them.

She wasn't a cuddly pup either, I think Wheatens are always on the go and don't really like sitting still for cuddles. I used to get offended that she was so pleased to see anyone/everyone else, but was never really interested in me when she was a pup.

As I said upthread, the terrier part of their nature is at it's most apparent when they're puppies, but they do settle down. They're always lively, bouncy dogs, but they do drop the terrier act eventually.

What made the difference was starting training classes and learning how to interact with her - and as you know, she turned out to be an awesome dog that achieved such a lot.

Before you give up on him, please book an appointment to see an APDT or APBC behaviourist. This is new to both you and him and it could be that all you need is someone to come and observe the situation and offer practical advice. It's very hard to offer advice over a screen when we can't see his body language and how he's interacting - you really need a properly qualified behaviourist to help.

There have been lots of other threads in the Doghouse from people who felt like you did in the first few weeks of their puppy's life. It's not unusual at all, because it is a huge undertaking and massive responsibility. Some people seem to go through something similar to PND from the stress of it all. I've tonnes of experience - Pip is dog number 7 for us, but I've had days where I felt I couldn't carry on. Not being able to go out for longer than half an hour is seriously affecting my mental health and I've had quite a few people tell me to give up and let someone take him on, but I know we can sort it out, it's just going to take plenty of time and patience.

At the end of the day, if you really do want to rehome, your breeder should take him back no matter what. I hate to say it, but if she won't then she isn't a decent breeder. If you do feel you have to give him up - my best advice is to contact the Breed Club and ask about breed rescue - that way you can be sure he'll go to a vetted Wheaten home.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I do believe Floyd is a fairly typical Wheaten and once you have started training in earnest and begin channelling his energy etc he will settle down and hopefully turn out like my girl did. A properly qualified behaviourist will make all the difference too - but ultimately it's your decision.

Let me know how it went. Try not to let baby control your life. He will adapt mine did. But it was funny how he used to slomp his bottom down and not go outside on his lead. But. He's. fine now

Ohalvo I have no experience with this at all but can totally sympathise - it's so god damn hard some days and you just feel soooo despondent :( Ollie can be horrendously bitey sometimes, trying to offer toys, turning away, walking away just does not stop him (he launches him self at you, which if I'm honest is kind if scary) last night I had to physically grab him by the neck (scruff) and practically pin him to stop it enough so I could leave the room and shut the door. Made me feel utterly shit and a complete failure :(

I echo Moose though and would suggest getting someone in for a 1 to 1 session, before you fully commit to rehoming. Talk to your trainers at puppy classes too, someone will be able to help you.

Ohalvo what is your routine with your little pup at the mo? I didn't quite understand about your job in your previous post. Just thinking maybe we could give you some ideas if you let us know maybe. Do you have children at home?

Ohalvo - it's so hard isn't it? I echo everyone who said the breeder should take him back no matter what.

Some days I think oh what have we done? Four DCs and a puppy!!! I am finding a difference in walking her twice a day, walked her for half an hour this morning and now she's shattered, same again this afternoon will walk her with the DCs after school. It's so hard juggling it all.

The biting have calmed down either with the DCs.

I am so looking forward to being able to walk Finn. Standing in the garden in the rain has lost it's appeal.
On a positive note we mislaid him in the house this morning and found him at the door scratching to go out, went out and he did a wee straight away. So proud of little squidge.

Ohalvo - you are Not the most hated person on this thread. You need to cut yourself a bit of slack - you didn't go into getting a puppy without a lot of thought and you had no idea what your individual puppy would be like. It is really hard, lots of people aren't able to keep their dogs/puppies despite being caring owners.

What about phoning the dog trainer that you're starting with on Sunday? Phone them today, explain you're booked in for classes but that you are really struggling, wondering if this is the right dog for you/ you are right home for dog. Explain that the problems are so upsetting for you, you are thinking maybe the only way forwards would be to re-home as you just don't eel experienced enough as owners. Ask if she can see you for 20 minutes before the class starts to discuss Floyd's issues.

I phoned our trainer about biting and DS2 who is 8. She was brilliant, really helpful and I offered to pay a consultation fee for phone all or visit, but she didn't take anything, just wanted to help.

Obviously a behaviourist is a way forwards and your trainer may know of one locally she would recommend - another thing to ask her on the phone.

There is light at the end of the tunnel - one way or another things will change for the better.

Ohalvo, of course you aren't hated. We understand what you're going through. Keep talking to us and we'll do everything we can to help.

I am having a small celebration. Pip just made his kongs and busy buddies last a whole hour! That's enough time to pop out somewhere without him!

I think I have discovered that a layer mix of peanut butter and Fish4Dogs Salmon Mousse mixed with kibble, then one of cooked chicken then a bit more kibble, then more peanut butter and mousse to plug the end seems to be the sticky/smelly comination that seems to last the longest. Absolutely stinks the place out - but it's worth it!

Nala knocked both DD3 and DS off their feet during a walk today she was jumping and biting DS especially. Obviously to her its a game but it's scary to them, I put her back on the lead for the rest of the walk.

Weighed her today and she's 18lbs or 8kg so she's gained 4lbs in a fortnight, she doesn't look like it you can see her ribs and she's very gangly.

We've had 2 days with no accidents, I think it's easier for me though as I have DD (21) at home all the time and I've been on rest days so it's been easy to keep an eye on him.
I do think there has been some success with trying to lengthen the time between wees by distracting him if he looks interested in going. He already seems to be lasting much longer.

Ohalvo I really hope you find a solution which suits you all. If that is carefully rehoming ,you know you will have tried your best.

We found a lovely lady in the north of Scotland today - she has been searching for a wheaten and has a big place in the countryside. She is also getting another pup for company and sounds experienced, kind and is retired so would be home all day wht the dogs and her husband. No young kids so wouldn't have to worry about biting children. It's not decided yet and we have puppy class on Sunday so we will see how that goes, but nice to know there's someone out there that might be better suited if need be.

Was listening to he little man snoring this evening and just welled up - it's been so difficult and just not sure of the future, but he was so peaceful at that moment and so cute :)

I know I shouldn't, but really worried about ppl thinking badly of us if we decide this isn't right for us and for Floyd. :/ perhaps if we weren't in a flat and had a bit of outdoor space we could combat this behaviour more effectively, perhaps stupid of us to get any dog. I just pictures our new addition being so much more affectionate and loving, although always hard work!

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. We have contacted our trainer and will meet her alone on Sunday, also someone suggested switching him to a lower protein food - but who knows?! I'm so torn - between the few lovely moments and the reality of the situation / what I believe in my heart of hearts is best for Floyd. :( xx