We lost Oldgirl to Osteosarcoma back in April and I was devastated. She was just shy of 14 years old and I was convinced she was going to be one of those dogs that lives to 17/18 getting creakier and smellier each year, but still always being there.
The house felt so empty with one less dog, even though we still had Lurcherboy, but at the same time I couldn't face giving my heart to another dog and really wasn't ready for a couple of months. I couldn't even move her bed from under the table or her toys from the lawn, which is a totally different reaction than I have had to the loss of dogs before, as usually I start stress-cleaning and am on a mission to remove every last hair that might remind me of how much my heart ached and set me off again.
We initially planned to get another pup in September, after the dcs were all back at school, but our other dog grieved terribly and developed Separation Anxiety and despite all the odds being against it, the right pup was determined we were going to rescue him.
In the end we brought our new rescue boy home the first week of August. He had a horrible start to life and was very poorly and needy when we first got him and it feels right that we are taking care of another rescue that needs us as much as Oldgirl did when she first arrived.
The loss of Oldgirl is still very raw, in fact it's been hard to type all this, but it's deeper down now and not so easy to touch by just scratching the surface. She was a very special girl who came to us as a tiny 6 week old emergency rescue, in a terrible state that left her with lifelong health issues and seeing what an amazing dog she turned into gave us the strength to want to help another rescue pup. I'm sure she would approve, but at the same time am sad to think how much fun she would have had with him.
Her loss is still there, always will be, but our new boy has brought fun and laughter back into the household and given Lurcherboy someone to snuggle up with in his basket so he's no longer lonely. None of that means we feel her loss any less, but it helps us reassure us that we're doing the right thing.
You will know when the time is right to move on, but there are no rules, take your time and don't let anyone rush you. (Moving on doesn't mean leaving your beautiful girl behind, it just means taking her love with you into the future and being able to smile and remember the good times instead of remembering the end whenever you think of her.)
I wish you all the best through this difficult time. x