getting a dog. heart says yes. head says no. kids say please please please.

[ernesttheBavarian]

I always had dogs as a child until I left home. Loved them mafly of course. German shepherds and mongrel mostly labrador.

Id always put off getting a dog because of tge work and having babies meant I didnt want another to care for.

Anyway youngest of my 4 dc now 5. They would all love to have a dog.

Yesterday visited a friend who had a lab similar to my mongrel and I am really tempted.

But. I start work PT next week so will be out 2.5 days. Plus we go away often. Usually every school holidays. Sometimes it could come but not every time.

Am torn.

Do I go with heart and kids?
How on earth do I decide on the best breed and where and how do I get a dog

Thank you. Was thinking of just going to the rescue place but just read a couple of threads here seemed against them. Rescue dogs too dodgy with kids?

I don't see how you could make it work without considering the rescue route. A puppy isn't going to be doable unless you have someone who will commit to taking the pup 2.5 days a week.

Best thing I ever did was finally make the decision to get a puppy.
My kids are a bit older than yours.
I love walking him. Gives me space to relax.

I did a lot of research into the breed I wanted and found a very good breeder.

It also costs me quite a bit if he has to go into kennels.

Unfortunately there are still a lot of prejudices and snobbery surrounding rescue dogs. If you choose a reputable rescue, you'll actually be getting a dog which is very carefully matched to your family. Many rescues insist on a minimum period of foster care for the dog to assess its behaviour in a family setting. The dog will be vaccinated, chipped, neutered, health checked and you will also have the reassurance of knowing you have lifelong back up. And when we say lifelong - we mean it! For instance, last year, we provided emergency foster care for two dogs when their owner had to go into hospital, six years after she adopted! I have another friend (also a regular here) who had emergency foster care for her dog when a close family member was rushed into hospital.

You also often find that by keeping in touch with the rescue after adoption, you can often plug in to a nice network of fellow dog owners and have a mutual dog sitting arrangement - it's very nice for all concerned to have an occasional doggy sleepover and gives you a bit more flexibility when you need to go out for the day, have a family wedding etc.

By choosing a young adult dog from a rescue, you'll avoid the puppy stage, but can look forward to many happy years together with your family.

I adored our rescue dog and always said I would get a rescue dog if I were to get a dog.

I looked at our local rescue centre. They say if the dog would be suitable for families with children and if they are dominant etc. Didn't look like they had anything suitable atm anyway. Am tempted.

Am not bothered about getting a puppy. What would be the best way of managing my 2 days work pw. Would some dogs be ok from 8 till about 4 or would I need a sitter?

Thabks for your help. I think I am going to do it....

I would find a dog walker for the days that you are out all day - or at least someone that could let the dog out in the garden for 30 mins or so.

Watching because I am in a similarish position, although my youngest is only 2. My eldest is 8 and has been desperate for a dog for years - stupidly we told her when she was 4 and DS2 was 2 that we would get a dog when she was 8... but then when she was 5.5 we had DC3, so "still" have a toddler...

DH has gone off the idea a bit in the intervening years, but DD has never forgotten the promise... I think it is good for children to grow up with a dog in many ways, but there are so many practical hurdles, even though I don't work (at least only the odd evening) atm and quite likely won't do any long days out of the house for years and years, as where we live (abroad) the school day finishes at lunch time.

I have been trying to look into rescues, partly as it seems "right" and partly becuase I'd also prefer an adult dog, but although they exist here they seem much fewer and farther between, and the only one local to us only has 4 dogs in (which I appreciate is brilliant in terms of hopefully meaning few dogs are abandoned) none of which are suited to households containing children of any age.

Am also pricing up the real cost of dog ownership: pet insurance, food, kennels for probably 2 ten day stretches a year (?300 a year to allow us to have our usual one trip to the UK and one caravan holiday, though we might be able to take a dog on the caravan holiday)... plus the "set up" costs like possibly neutering and initial jabs and definitely bedding and a "cage" or whatever the proper term for that is... of course. Wondering what I have forgotten...

DON'T DO IT!!
Last summer I was in exactly the same position my DD (aged 6) desperately wanted a dog. I had always had dogs growing up and thought it would make a wonderful addition to the family. We have a full time nanny who was happy to walk the dog. So we bought a puppy who was cute and amazing with my DD. but even with the help of the nanny my husband and I found it too much. We both work full time and it was just really hard to fit everything in. Every night my husband would take her out last thing, but if he was away on business I had to do in the cold and the dark, something I didn't think about when we wanted the dog initially. You just think about the fun stuff. I had to get up at 6am every morning to walk her when I should have been getting ready for work. Every night when all I wanted to do was flop down on the sofa I had to take her out. And to be fair in the warm spring summer evenings it was gorgeous but in the cold dark winter months it was miserable. And then of course going away it became an issue of who would look after her. So anyway, recently we finally made the decision to give the dog to a friend who didn't work and was looking for a dog. It was heart wrenching though and DD still doesn't realise that dog won't be coming back.

So my advice would be to think very carefully. Because the reality is very different to how you think it will be.

Oh and I also meant to don't get a puppy however cute, house training with children around is a nightmare!!

Magnolia, I'm sorry it has been so difficult for you.

We adopted a rescued greyhound last year, however and don't regret it one tiny bit. Yes we have to take him out for walks but not for very long ones if we can't be bothered. He's pretty undemanding really, and has definitely enriched our family life. I'm not saying he was perfect when we first got him and we had to put a bit of work into training him. But he's damn near perfect now as far as we're concerned.

You don't have to go to a rescue centre but can look at breed specific rescues who have dogs in foster homes and often rehome nationwide.

And yes, don't rush, find the right one -do lots of research.

I won't get another dog when my beautiful Springer dies.

No holiday without him for 6 years, he wasn't happy away from us. A massive tie - huge costs £60 a month insurance now at his age.

And I will be utterly devastated when he dies as we all love him so much.

Magnolia - I think if you had posted on here saying my husband and I work full time thinking about getting a puppy which nanny will also look after - everyone would have said don't do it, you will end up whomping it......

Earnest working part time, doesn't mean not getting a dog, but it does mean planning for someone else to walk it, check in , make sure it's fine.

Yes I find it hard when DH is away, and after getting kids in bed , dog needs to go out for his tinkle, and then again just before I go to bed, but then I don't feel so alone when DH is away, or worried about being in the house, with the kids alone. ( all burgled would have to say to ddog is "aren't you beautiful" and he would mug them for cuddles, but fairly certain at 55kg they wouldn't bother trying to go any further once they saw him)

In winter the only time I found it hard walking him, was when I was sick, but now I have a dog walker he has a relationship with I know I can call her.

So I would just take you time - one you can afford the support you will need (days out that aren't dog friendly.... Holidays) and 2 that you spend a lot of time researching breed or type.... And don't choose based on fashion or looks, but on temperament, exercise needs and also what mental stimulation the dog will need.

We got our dog when he was 6 months old and he is now a year, we are just having our first holiday away....the kids are constantly going on how they miss ddog...I miss him too, but I also know that he is being looked after like royalty, and being kept busy. I am looking forward to out first long walk on Sunday,

Oh and I wouldn't discount rescues, and there are breed rescues if you are interested in labs - I would just do you research into the rescue and make sure they offer good ongoing support, that they properly assess dogs temperament......

I know someone with three dc who shares a dog with another family. They agreed to arrange holidays at separate times so that the dog would always be with one or other family. They have swapped the dog between them since it was a puppy and it seems to work really well. All the pleasure of having a dog with only half the commitment.

I'd advise imagining worst case scenarios, and see how you feel about those - eg, school holidays, it's pissing down outside, dog needs a walk, dc's are too young to stay home alone so you all need to take dog out - how would you/dc's feel about that? Or, dc's are ill, dog needs to go out - what do you do? Having had our rescue dog for just under a year (and we were the same, dc's pleading, dh keen but majority of dog care would be down to me) we've been through the cold wet winter walks and too hot to breathe summer walks, days out, holidays away, etc, and you do need to have a plan B that you're all happy with - including the dog! Also think very carefully about the breed & its needs and which would suit your family best. Good luck!

I think everyone above has given really sound balanced advice, and I'm sorry I sounded so negative. I just wanted to get across that the reality of the extra responsibility and commitment was far more than we ever could have imagined. And that was me doing the research and getting a little placid dog that didn't need much walking etc....

Having to get out for a walk, whatever the weather, is one of the great pluses for having a dog - DS would definitely be up in arms when the weather's bad, but because it has to be done, he accepts that - he needs lots of exercise!

Wow thank you all. Mr tumble I think we've 'met' before on previous threads. Im also in Bavaria but I can't remember if we are close?
Anyway my dc might also be able to come home at lunch time. Will be organising homework ckub as they are so lazy so if a dc come home at 1 would that be good enough? ?

I think having 4 or 5 people in the house who can share the walking should spread the burden. I dont see it would be a problem though because I'm already planning on getting up earlier to do some exercise so could easily do that with dog than alone.

I guess the main challenge will be finding a dog sitter. I'm in brighton a lot and everyone has dogs and there are loads of sitters. Not so common in Germany.

Although I had dogs growing up, I never bought them so don't know anything about it. People keep saying to do research but what do I look for? I know I want a medium sized child friendly dog. Don't care if it is or even actively prefer young adult mongeral. What else do I need to know or look for? ?
MrT . I will look at Riem Tierheim. I think it's the only one in München? But dunno if that's right or if it's anywhere near you.

If you're in Bavaria, you might want to take a look at www.hundeliebe-grenzenlos.de/ They support a lot of rescues in Cyprus and rescue dogs and bring them over to Germany. Some go straight to families or some go into foster, which gives you the advantage of the dog being assessed in a family situation.

They have a wide variety of breeds, some puppies, some older, some Cyprus poodle types but also "hound" types, if that's your thing. They have a network throughout Germany and may also be able to advise you on doggy day care or dog sitters, which could help you out.

There is also RSDR who are based in Bulgaria, but rehome rescues in the UK, Germany and the Netherlands. They are an English family who settled there so dogs live in kennels but have a lot of contact with other dogs, the family and children/cats etc. www.streetdogrescue.com/
They charge about £250 for transport of the dogs.

It's completely right that you take time to think about it, dogs do bring certain restrictions but, as far as holidays go, you can get a long way in a car if you live slap-bang in the middle of Europe, as you do!

Good luck

Also meant to say, that if you wanted, perhaps you could be a foster family for an organisation like Hundeliebe Grenzenlos, which would give you the opportunity to see if having a dog suits your lifestyle, you'd be helping a rescue dog and it could help you when make the decision / commitment about getting your own dog.

Thats a really interesting idea thanks.

Something has just, and I mean literary just now in the middle of the night occurred to me which might pee alk over our bonfire and doggy dreams . Ds3 has allergies and after we came back from visiting the friend with the dog on Tuesday he developed a temperature and still ill. Dunno if tge 2 things are related but will have to test him for allergy before I proceed. Poo.

Ernst yes we have - I hadn't clocked it was you who started the thread though! Hello! Seem to recall we are opposite sides of Munich (Reim is certainly the opposite side to us). There are a few Tierheim though - I was looking at our local one to start with (our nearest bigger town, outside Munich) but have since seen that Schwabing has loads of dogs. Pretty much all are unsuitable for families - in fact most are asking for a single person or an all female household. There are often adverts up on lamp-posts from local teens wanting to walk dogs for money though, so I imagine finding a walker in the afternoons would be easy. I wouldn't be getting a dog if I needed to pay somebody else to walk it daily though I don't think, it would push things over the edge into impractical, on top of all the other expense, for me.

Magnolia My kids are up by 6am anyway, and 2 of them are small boys who have to be got out of the house for at least an hour outdoors (preferably several hours) every day regardless of weather (seriously, otherwise they fight constantly and wreck the place) so that part of it won't have much impact! The holidays will - we drive (haven't flown since DC3 was born, flights for 5 get crazy expensive and it now works out cheaper to drive, even when we go to the UK) but taking a dog in and out of the UK isn't easy (we take an overnight ferry, I haven't seen any dogs on it), and I don't think it would be fair to subject a dog to the length of the drive. We could potentially take the dog on our "proper" holidays to Italy though, as that's only a 4 hour drive and we tend to self cater, also due to 3 small kids.

LadyTurmoil thank you for that link to the Cypriot rescue, will look at that now. Fostering could also work. We looked after an acquaintance's 2 dogs when she went on holiday, but they weren't really the type of dogs we'd be interested in (very teeny handbag dogs) and were so spoilt and came with so many "rules" that my DH was rather put off by them - the kids loved them though.

When we looked into this previously we thought the Boarder Terrier would be a good match for us, but if we are determined to get a Boarder Terrier I think we'd have to find a reputable breeder rather than go the rescue route. Pros and cons of both obviously.

LadyTurmoil that rescue actually rehomes to The Netherlands, though it looks like it may still be an option from Germany. They have an awful lot of young dogs and puppies!