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Dog Separation Anxiety - Advice Needed!!!! - *Warning.. Long*

13 replies

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 08:13

Are there any dog behaviourists or people who have been through the below and come out the other side around? Before I spend a fortune on an expert I'd really appreciate some advice!

We have a 6.5 year old male American Cocker Spaniel who is gentle and a lovely family dog who is good with children. We have had him since he was approx 16 weeks old. He is really part of our family but has been doing some odd things recently - mainly howling when we leave the house and a couple of times at night. Our family set up is me, my husband, our 2 year old daughter and another baby on the way next month. He knew I was pregnant this time around before I did and would sit and stare at me all the time! Life has changed a lot around him since being our dog baby and now having a noisy 2 year old and newborn on the way. Since I my bump became obvious he seems to have become more anxious when we are not around. I think it is separation anxiety....

Before maternity leave DH and I worked full time but had a dog walker taking him out for 2-3 hours for exercise with other doggy friends every other day and my father in law dog sitting the other days. Weekends are dog walks with DH or as a family and he gets attention daily. The longest he was left was 4 hours at a time and he seemed fine with this... no weird behaviour...

Fast forward to now, I am home daily as I am on maternity leave, he is now howling and crying when I leave the house on my own or with dd or the family leave the house even for 10 mins..if he is in the car when I drop off/pick up dd from nursery he also cries...the neighbours have come over to check what was going on when we have been out!! (They must love us at the moment with a noisy 2 year old who is also not sleeping properly, a newborn on the way and a dog who is upset!) He is getting daily exercise and attention, admittedly less attention than before since the crazy 2 year old is quite demanding..We have tried chews/treats/radio on/big fuss on return to no avail... he isn't very motivated by food which might be helpful to know...

Any advice on what I can do to make him happier? stop howling etc? prepare him for newborn?

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milktraylady · 18/07/2013 08:22

By the way the neighbours popping over to see if everything's all right are just being polite. They are probably going spare with all the barking.

Hope someone has some solutions for you!

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 08:30

Yes I can imagine we are the neighbours from hell at the moment with a dog going mental and a 2 year old having tantrums and crying at night. I isn't doing much for me either! I am shattered and 34 weeks pregnant...

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MissMarplesBloomers · 18/07/2013 08:34

Could you get him a few sessions with the dog walker again to establish a routine just for him before DC2 comes?

I'm no expert but I guess your attentions are divided and he is feeling unsettled so to give him some company for himself & a walker he is familiar with might help?

Also maybe DD1 & DH can go out for a short walk before bedtime to wear them both out a bit & give you a break?!!!

Good luck.

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 08:38

he still goes out twice a week with the dog walker...

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Lilcamper · 18/07/2013 09:53

What food and treats are you leaving him with?

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 10:14

He gets dog chews mainly and I thought today it might be an idea to invest in one of those treat balls so it takes longer to get to eat them?

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tabulahrasa · 18/07/2013 10:36

Get a kong, you can put dry food in there like a treat ball, but you can also put meat* in and freeze it, which keeps them busy for ages, tehy're great.

*Or scrambled eggs or anything else you think he'd like.

Here's a massive thread on another forum with loads of advice on it.

Lilcamper · 18/07/2013 10:54

Definitely a kong, and you can be really creative with fillings. Pâté, bananas, oats, cheese, sardines, yoghurt, tuna, low salt gravy...the sky is the limit.freezing makes them last longer and holds their interest and in this weather helps them cool down.

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 11:08

Thanks - will definitely try that! Anything at this point!

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IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 11:12

Interesting thread above too - thanks tabulahrasa!

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moosemama · 18/07/2013 11:49

I have just spent the past 7 weeks working on the SA my lurcher developed when our other dog passed away. He is much better now, having just turned the corner this past week.

I have to take dd to nursery now, but will be back later to see if I can help.

moosemama · 18/07/2013 13:07

Right, am back.

First off. Get him to the vet for a check-up. Any sudden change in behaviour could potentially be down to ill health or pain, so make sure you have eliminated that possibility first.

Next, there are two books that might help:

Don't Leave Me by Nicole Wilde is the better one of the two, as it looks at the whole picture and you go through a process to help you properly diagnose the problem. Not all howling is down to SA. (The link is to the Kindle edition, but if you want a paper copy you can find them by googling - and possibly on Ebay.)

The other one is /I'll Be Home Soon by Patricia McConnell which is still good for helping you understand and assess the situation, but imo isn't as good.

It's most likely that he has just got used to you being around all the time and has unlearned how to settle himself when alone. If you watch him before you go out, he is likely to start getting a bit anxious as you start your leaving routine. So, say, you always do your hair in the hall mirror, put on your shoes, pick up your handbag and then keys etc, he is likely to be picking up on those actions as signals that you are about to leave him and his anxiety will be building before you've even left the house.

You can desensitise him to these things by doing all your usual exit routines regularly throughout the day, but not going out. So for example, pick up your car keys, then sit down and have a coffee, pick up your handbag and watch some tv, put on your shoes (perhaps not coat in this heat) and read a book. Doing this randomly several times a day will gradually desensitise him to each action as a potential signal that he's about to be left alone.

You also need to get him used to being on his own, rather than following you around the house all day. As others have said, a kong is really useful for this. Stuff it with super gorgeous dog treat type stuff (you can google for loads of recipe ideas) give him the kong and then leave without saying a word. Start off by literally just going to the door of the room you are leaving him in and waiting a second, then touch the door handle, then step into the doorway, then step through the doorway, then close the door for a second, then stand on the other side for a few seconds and gradually build up the time you are out of sight until he is happily noshing on his treat for a good 10 minutes or so while you are in a different room.

Every time you return, even when it's only a few seconds at first, immediately remove the kong, as we want him to connect being allowed to eat it with your absence.

The above process counter conditions your exit from something bad that he needs to be anxious about, to you leaving the room meaning something great - ie a tasty treat - will appear.

Start leaving him on his own with his kong for short periods several times a day, gradually building up the length of time he's left. To start with it may only be in increments of seconds or half minutes, but once you get up to a few minutes you can extend the gaps more quickly.

We found it was a good idea to do a longer session in the evening when he was already tired. We could put him in his bed with a treat and he'd was happy to sit in the kitchen with the door shut while we watched tv in the next room.

Once he starts to relax and is happy to be left while you are in. You need to start desensitse him to the sounds of you actually leaving the house. So, same process again, but start to include opening and closing the front door, stepping outside then straight back in etc, gradually building it up as you have done before. Once you can go out of the door and wait a few minutes, you may need to desensitise him to the sound of your car door and engine as well.

I recommend either filming him on a camcorder or webcam to see what he's up to - or if not - at least do what we do and buy a cheap dictaphone so you can hear exactly when he starts making a noise and if anything specific might be triggering it. It also helps you to see there is progress, even if it's only a few seconds at a time.

Finally, we have our boy on Dorwest Herbs, Scullcap and Valerian tablets, which are herbal tablets to reduce canine anxiety and are often used around bonfire night for dogs that are afraid of fireworks. We also have their Valerian Compound (link at the bottom of the tablets page) for times when we can't avoid being gone slightly longer than he can cope with. Some people give their dogs Rescue Remedy in their water bowls or just prior to leaving instead and lots of people have found DAP diffusers and/or collars helpful to calm their anxious dogs.

Where does he sleep? Does he or did he ever have a crate? If so he might like the security of having a crate to be in while you are out - doesn't work for all dogs, but often dogs that were happily crated as pups can find it reassuring to have one as their place of safety.

The other thing to consider is not to leave the dog for longer than his current tolerance level, so if he can only manage 10 minutes, try not to leave him for any longer, unless you absolutely have to. You do need to recruit an army of dog sitters and walkers, but it sounds like that won't be a problem for you and it's really worth it, as the barking and howling is self-soothing and rewarding. Barkng/howling releases endorphins that reward the dog for doing it and that's why it becomes such a viscious cycle. If you can do everything you can to prevent him from howling while you do the SA programme it will really help his progress. I do understand how hard this is though, not least of all because I was virtually trapped in the house, other than 10/15 minute school runs for the best part of 6 week, but it was worth it, because persistence and consistency has paid off and we are now seeing great progress that seems to be accelerating.

Sorry it's such a long post. It is a lot of work, but is doable if you are at home much of the time.

Hope some of that is helpful to you.

Feel free to pm me if you think I can help any further.

Good luck.

IAteTheCake · 18/07/2013 13:44

Thanks so much Moosemama! I really appreciate all your advice and time it took to write that! One thing that is odd is that the amount of time he can be left is really inconsistent....some days better than others. He has had a recent doggy check up and is in good health...from what you say I think he's definitely got used to me being around etc....I'll try to put some of your advice into practice. He sleeps in one of two baskets: one in the living room the other in the conservatory and has never had a crate. I am aware that he has gone down the pecking order since dd and even more so when baby arrives so want to make sure he still feels loved! I certainly have my hands full now giving everyone the attention they need. Huge thanks...

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