Not sure we (I) should have got a dog

[Confusedandfedup]

I realize I shall get some flak for this and I'm not sure why I'm posting other than to get it off my chest. We got a 17th month old dog from a rescue shelter 4 months ago as a pet from our youngest son (8). He loves dogs and really wanted one. I thought about it a lot. Things like who would look after it during holidays, days out etc. In the end I thought it would be a good thing for him to have a dog. We go walking a lot so that is not a problem and I have 2 family members who could look after Dog if needed.

BUT, I have just not bonded with the dog. She has a couple of issues including hating the car and barking aggressively at visitors/strangers, but apart from that she is fine. DH and son really like her, but I've just not got used to her being here yet. I feel stressed a lot and the thought of feeling like this about her for the years to come is depressing.

I am one step ahead then idirdog, no rain but puppy jumped in local lake and swam round and round in circles in the middle for about half an hour this morning, ignoring my calls to come out, so he's soaked, was muddy and disgusting regardless of the dry conditions (and banished to utility until he's dried off I am afraid, not that he cares as he was knackered)

I bet that there's some form of clicker training I can do for stopping dogs swimming round and round in circles in the local lake.........

I don't see any difference between the people that post saying they are struggling with their feelings for a new dog and those posting saying they are struggling with a new baby.

The underlying cause, whilst not identical, given hormones etc postnatally, is extremely similar and that's what we all - including idirdog - are saying about taking on a dog - it's a massive commitment and changes your life quite drastically. Both babies and dogs have that effect on our lives and no-one on MN tells a new mum to grow-up and get on with it when she's struggling.

I see the fact that the op posted as a good thing. Better to let it out and receive some advice and knowledge from more experienced dog owners and others going through similar things, than to suddenly panic, feel she's had enough and put the dog into a rescue.

I'm always quite glad to see posters saying they're finding it tough. Because then I can come along and say 'Yeah, it is. Some days, you'll think you've made a mistake. Some days, you'll wish you'd never laid eyes on the dog. But one day, you'll realise you've had a good day. A really good, fun, relaxed day where you've enjoyed your dog and he's behaved as you want him to (mostly). One day, you'll see the results of all your hard work, and you'll be bloody proud of yourself and your dog. One day, you and your dog will be mates.' And I can say that because I found it hard, and I posted on here, and was given support and assured it would get easier. And it did

Actualy idirdog has described my OH. He has no clue about trianing etc but expects his dogs to behave like well balance adult humans. This is why I told him I wouldn't be looking after two adicional dogs. But he still bought them because they were cute.

Our first dog was relatively speaking, a doddle. So much so that we decided to rehome another. Dog #2 was not so easy. For at least the first 6 months we questioned whether or not we had been stupid and were we really the most suitable home. That was 12 years ago for dog #2. As the first 2 were getting a bit doddery, we rehomed dog #3 without realising what we'd taken on. For about a year, he legged it over the hills and far away at every and any opportunity. It was a bloody nightmare. He didn't seem to bond with us or the other dogs and lived to run off and eat. It took several trainers and behaviourists to find someone who could help, and a marginal shift in attitude towards him.

Dogs are a bind and a massive responsibility. But they are part of the household and a joy to be with.