Foster dog-do I keep him?

[mind77]

Just as the title says really:( I have only had him 2 weeks but the idea of letting him go is breaking my heart at the moment:( I know this is the hard part of fostering-letting them go but I have grown so attached to him. My head is saying 'no' this isn't the right home for him but he seems happy here and I dont want to spend years agonising whether he went to a good home where people treated him as well as we do:( Do all fosterers feel like this?
I dont know what happened to him before the rescue picked him up but he is such a sad dog, so reserved and desperate for any bit of affection he can get. He has scars on his head,a damaged leg and you could see the shape of every rib when he came to me. Yet he is clinging to me and follows me everywhere,raising on his hind legs against me asking for cuddles:( I feel like he trusts me,possibly the first time in his life and I would be letting him down bt sending him on:(
I am spending somuch time torn about this and in tears,don't know what to do for the best.
I dont even know if we are the right home for him long term or if its right for my own dog. He has withdrawn from us considerably at the moment and his fear aggression has regressed quite bad but hoping this is just temporary. He is starting to bond with foster dog but not sure if they will ever be best buddies as my dog is very nervous around him. Foster dog shows very little interest in my dog. Think he thinks he's a bit of a nuisense at times:)
So keeping him could be a disaster in the long term:(
Sorry for rambling on and the length of post. Just dont know what to do for the best at the moment and hoping you good Doghouse people might help to sway me one way or the other:)

Have you had a chance to talk about this with whatever organisation placed this dog with you for fostering?

2 weeks is a short space of time why not keep a open mind as you need the dogs to get on for harmony in the home.

I know of quite a few failed fosterers. However, I also know of lots of dogs that move out of their foster homes and go to new homes where they are equally loved - thanks to the good start they have been given by being fostered initially.

It sounds, from what you've written, that he would actually get on with being an only dog quite happily as long as 'his' humans were around most of the time - this is something that wouldn't have been found out if he'd been in kennels - and there are lots of people out there looking for 'only' dogs.

I would say that your primary concern should be your original dog. If this is not the right dog to fit in with him, steel yourself and make sure that you know you're going to work on finding the right home for him, but that he will move on - and you will foster another one instead, again giving that dog so much more chance of finding the right home to fit into.

I haven't told the rescue how much I'm struggling,no. I don't intend on continuing to foster with them though after this dog as I don't have much confidence in them. They looked great on paper, but some of their methods are very outdated and I'm not 100% as to how much effort they will put into assessing a new home. This is part of my worry. They will however take him off their site for 4 weeks to see how well the two dogs are getting on and let me make a final decision then.
mistlethrush he would get on as an only dog with lots of human company very well. I have told the rescue this. But my trust in people where animals are concerned has been totally destroyed with some of the things I have seen being involved in rescue. In an ideal world he would go to a lovely home where they would dote on him, but I am equally horrified by him being adopted by people who might mistreat him as he has been in the past. Just dont feel like I am cut out to be a fosterer at the minute:( I can't keep that emotional distance like some can and dont want regret letting him go if I dont know hes safe:(

id keep him. They may bond still.

We've fostered, and do so at the moment, and like every foster carer I know, at some point you will join the "Failed Fosters Club" and end up keeping one.

Of course you get attached - that is very natural but bear in mind that in many rescues the foster home has an important input into the selection of the forever home, and that also adopters can and do keep in touch with foster carers and either send them pics/info via FB or see them at charity events such as walks, shows etc. Let me share a little story with you. Several years ago, we fostered a greyhound bitch. She came in after she was dumped and had been found scavenging for food at a caravan park. She was emaciated, injured and scarred. We fostered her for three months and watched her blossom. Eventually after meeting several potential adopters she went to a lovely lady and we delivered her one Saturday morning to her new life. The next year, and I was helping out at the charity's annual Fun Dog Show. I was the person stuck in the tent taking all the entries. Suddenly I did a double take. Walking towards me, festooned with rosettes, was our beautiful girl. She was now as glossy as only a black dog can be, sleek, beautiful and gorgeous. I managed to escape the tent for a cuddle with her and I am not ashamed to say I had a little cry at how she had continued to flourish. One of the nicest parts of being a foster is seeing a dog settled, happy and healthy in a loving forever home - there is nothing like it to bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart.

Keep in touch with your rescue foster co-ordinator - they will be able to advise you and support you.

It's still early days and your foster will be with you for a few more weeks/months yet before they are ready to move on so you still have time on your side. I think you have done a brave thing by acknowledging these feelings and now you can do as others have suggested and start to think seriously as things develop about what would be best for your original dog and for foster and for you. Eventually, you may end up with an answer that surprises you - don't rush, take your time and keep doing a brilliant job.

Sorry I misunderstood initially, the rescue I'm involved with always puts dogs into foster care initially in order to assess them before placing in a permanent home. Once in a while a foster home asks to keep the dog permanently, but that's very rare. I assumed that was normal, and that you were fostering temporarily as part of this dog's initial assessment.

Unless your own dog - whose happiness HAS to be your highest priority - becomes even more unhappy, why not give it a couple more weeks? 14 days isn't very long at all.

Thankyou. Didn't expect to get so many responses so quick:) Been blubbing all morning so look a right state now!! Feel a bit better now. Just had a very in depth chat about my concerns with foster co-ordinator. Should have done that sooner but they always seem so rushed(understandably) and have been reassured that it will be 100% my decision when I meet any prospective adopters as to whether I think they will be the right home for my foster dog.
I knew I would have an input obviously but was concerned that they would over ride that in their rush to re-home another dog if that makes sense.
Doesn't help my dilema as to whether to keep him but I do feel alot more confident that he will go to a nice home as my gut instincts with people are usually pretty good.
God,nobody warned me as to just how heart wrenching fostering could be:(

I fostered a dog for a year. Came to me hard to home yet left to go to a perfect family who could offer her more than me. Ie no other pets. She is spoilt rotten now.
I almost kept her but it wasn't fair on my other dog who grew to dislike her.

I will say, 2 weeks is no time to see how your other dog feels. In a month you might find things ok. But personally I would foster with the hope of rehoming unless you find the dogsbecome good friends.You will be deciding on the home, and can have follow up contact to make sure the home is a good one.

I've fostered countless animals, from (around 500) Cats & a number of Dogs and now, Shetland ponies. IME, a good rescue organisation usually lets the "fosterer" have the final say on the suitability of the home. If they don't think it's a good match, they have considerable input into where the animal should go (or stay).

I know that in the past, I've vetoed people I didn't think suitable for my precious darling babies foster charges, and I know that I'll have final say on the ponies that I currently have.

The best bit, as Scuttlebutter says, is getting Christmas cards, updates and news when they have settled in their new homes. Having said that, I have 4 cats who I failed as a foster mum to! We all do it!

I think you're very brave to foster and it takes a special kind of person to do this. Pat on the back for being brilliant.

I know that doesn't help you in making your decision!

Just wanted to say that I think what you're doing is v special.