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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Rehoming agony :(

18 replies

40thisisit · 10/09/2012 12:33

We have a gorgeous choc lab who is 2years old. We all love him lots but due to my change in working patterns it's becoming very hard to give him all the attention he deserves (even with using a dog walker in the middle of the day). We have 3 dd's aged 6, 9 & 12. The 9 year old is indifferent but the other 2 would be heart broken if we re-homed him. I have found a family who are interested in taking him from us & we're meeting up for a dog walk on Saturday. In my heart of hearts I know it would be best to re-home him as we're not being fair to him at the moment but I just want to cry when I think of having to say goodbye to him. I'm also worried how it would affect my 2 dd's. Please help me get a grip!!!

OP posts:

WTFwasthat · 10/09/2012 12:35

are you rehoming through a rescue? Or privately?

Original poster

40thisisit · 10/09/2012 12:44

Privately through friends of friends of friends!!

OP posts:

WTFwasthat · 10/09/2012 12:54

I hope it all goes OK for you. Must be heartbreaking. Make sure when you meet the prospective new owners that you are 100% happy with them. If it were me, even if there was a tiny doubt, I'd not let dog go.

Scuttlebutter · 10/09/2012 12:58

There are two issues here.

Could you do be doing more to keep your dog? Your 12 yr old for instance, is certainly old enough to be responsible for at least one daily walk and some training/interaction. She could be going to dog training classes with him. Your 12 year old is also old enough to deserve an honest conversation about your thoughts about rehoming and should at least be given the option to do more.

What about your DH/DP?

Secondly, if as your post implies, you are thinking of rehoming privately, I would seriously BEG you to reconsider and go through a reputable rescue instead, if this is the path you are determined to follow. Private rehomings of the sort you are thinking of, are statistically the most likely to break down, and your dog could end up anywhere, including a pound, where they have seven days before being killed. And please don't think Labs don't end up in pounds, they do, sadly. Here in Wales, some Councils kill around 15% of all pound dogs.

There are several dedicated Labrador rescue organisations - they can make sure that only a thoroughly vetted, suitable home is found and that lifelong backup and support are offered to potential adopters. Going through a rescue is a responsible choice if you really feel that you have to rehome.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 10/09/2012 14:56

Most rehomings including rescues break down because the original owner of the dog from pup stage didn't make the effort to train properly and make the dog a happy well socialised and trained member of a family.
He will likely be ok as long as he is all of the above with no undisclosed bad habits.
Do a contract with them agreeing to return him home if the placement breaks down
Good luck x

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/09/2012 16:39

Rehomings can break down for any reason. A friend of a friend could be anyone.

A friend of one my friends rehomed her dog to a friend of a friend. It was abused and neglected so badly that it became unmanageable. By the time the original owner got in touch with me after being contacted by the local pound, where her dog eventually ended up it was too late for the dog and the pound deemed him too aggressive to be rehomed/released to his original owner (who desperately wanted her dog saving) or to me.

Please, please, please use a rescue OP.

Or better still reconsider. Have you thought about dog walkers? Doggy daycare? Your dog having a bit less attention will be easier for him than ending up in a pound. You have no guarantee that the new owners will meet his needs anyway and no way of checking that they do, unlike rescues who try to make regular contact with adopters.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 10/09/2012 16:49

Very true that, i decided to keep 2 great danes because i just would not trust anyone else to have a dog i loved.
I've seen too many abused. I neuter all my dogs because there's no way on this earth i would want to be responsible for a puppy ending up in the wrong hands.

Sorry i should have said its my opinion about the placement breaking down due to the dog not being trained, every dog i have had has been a 'rescue' free to good home dog which has been free because no one has been arsed to do the basic things they should do with a puppy and past cute puppy stage or once its chewed a favourite item its chucked out.

I hope the OP reconsiders :)
Ultimately though its not an ideal world and if rehoming was totally and utterly unavoidable i would try to go through a rescue and double check it was a no kill

Cuebill · 10/09/2012 16:49

I will not help you get a "grip". You need to understand how irresponsible you are being.

You have only had a dog two years and cannot work out a situation that will benefit your dog. Your are considering rehoming in the most irresponsible way possible.

Please have the decency to sort out a better solution for your dog.

Do not rehome privately. You will have no real way of knowing what the new owners are going to do with your dog. What if in two years time they too can not be bothered with the dog and just palm it off onto someone else.

A responsible rescue will guarantee a place for life for your dog, if things change they will look after the dog again until the situation changes. Contact a decent no kill rescue your poor dog deserves this at the very least.

If this sounds harsh, today I have had the same conversation with more several people considering dumping their dogs

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/09/2012 16:55

Yes in many young dogs the most frequent reason is that they are untrained. But it is not the only reason. The family this dog gets rehomed to could have a change of circumstances themselves 6 months down the line. Where would that leave the dog?

As Cuebill pointed out a rescue would offer back up for life and would insist the dog was returned to them. The one I foster for makes a point of trying to return them to their original foster home to try and minimise the distress to the dog.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 10/09/2012 17:08

I've had many changes of circumstance but always made sure my DC's and dogs are fed often before myself.

It saddens me dogs and other pets are so easily come by and yet so disposable.

If i guess how the OP is feeling about rehoming the dog then i can guess its pretty shit as i felt like a massive shit when i was trying to rehome the one dumped on my doorstep.

As it is i decided no one was good enough and kept him.
He was a nightmare pre neutering but is a lot better now.

The OP cant really expect a 12 year old child to walk the dog though .. what if something happened? IMO 12 is not old enough to soley be responsible for a dog on their own. Sorry but thats my take on it.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 10/09/2012 17:49

I couldn't let my nearly 12 year old walk my dog. He pulls like a train and I doubt he'd be able to hold on to him

Original poster

40thisisit · 10/09/2012 18:43

Well thanks for your comments - some harsher than others !!
TBH I think you've answered what I truly felt that we could never get rid of him! So he's staying!!

OP posts:

Cuebill · 10/09/2012 18:55

Brilliant . Now is there anyway that we can help you with this? Training help or recommending walkers etc.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm · 10/09/2012 18:58

Oh well done :) am relived tbh but didn't dare to hope ..
xx

NatashaBee · 10/09/2012 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vix07 · 10/09/2012 19:05

So glad to hear you've changed your mind - my DM rehomed our 6 month old spaniel pup when I was nine (v poor breed selection as they need a LOT of exercise/attention) and we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, tbh I never quite forgave her!

2girls2dogs · 10/09/2012 19:14

So glad he is staying - there are times, when my little bastard brown rescue dog drives me to distraction (he eats eVERYTHING, but he is training me to keep things out of his reach) and i haven't had a full nights undisturbed sleep since we got him (six months now) because we stupidly let him sleep in our bed and he wants out for a pee at 4am But i chose to get a dog, i wasn't necessary expecting the disturbed sleep but i adore him and quite frankly it was DPs our mistake to allow him on the bed in the first place. They are family, you wouldn't get rid of one of your children if they were not fitting in wiht the family.

FWIW i don't think what you describe is that bad for him. He has a dog walker come and take him out and children to play with, what more does he want? he doesn't need 24/7 attention, he is a dog and as such will quite happily sleep when you are not there, he is getting a break in the middle of the day, really, its all good. Are there other reasons you don't want to admit to for fear of getting your arse torched because if he has developed some behaviour issues then you will get loads of advice on how to deal with it on here. No one will flame you for having a problem with your dog, but its better to face up to things than either rehome or ignore.

So pleased you changed your mind x

CakeMeIAmYours · 10/09/2012 19:51

So pleased you changed your mind op, you have made the right decision.

I work from home, but am pretty busy all day. It may sound trite, but I have found that getting up an hour earlier has made a massive difference to how much time I get to interact with DDog. The first week or so was really hard, but my sleeping patterns adapted really quickly.

Does this sound like something you could try?

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