It's time to say goodbye

[cherrypiew3]

My little dog is unwell we have known this for a few months but the time has come to say goodbye. I am heartbroken have brought him back from the vets tonight because I did not want to do it. We decided to wait 2/3 more weeks just so we could spend some more time with him. After talking to my parents this evening I know that keeping him here is selfish and that I need to rethink the problem is I will miss him so much and I don't know how to prepare my 3dc for this. Does anybody have any ideas how I deal with this.

No ideas at all but my heart goes out to you. How old are the children?

They are 10,8 and 5

Did the children already know the dog was ill?

2-3 weeks sounds a long time if the dog is ill . Are you sure that won't be too much for him?

I totally sympathise as my cat is ill and old now and have had to tell the children she will probably die soon.

Mine are 11, 9 and 7.

Oh, i am so very sorry - it is such a difficult thing. I think it would be better for your children though if you don't keep him. You do not want them to see him suffer. I think children are surprisingly strong about these sort of things though - just be as open with them as you can be. But don't drag this out - maybe have this weekend and then arrange for him to go to the vets on monday. Just heart breaking for you :( Have you thought about waht yu might like to do afterwards? are you going to have him home to bury or his ashes home? Could you maybe take the children out afterwards to buy a rose or something to plant in the garden to remember him by? When i lost my lovely dog, we spent the next few days (to keep ourselves out of the house if anything) trying to find a nice photoframe and album to put some pictures of him in. Im looking at him now, big old bear of a dog :) Pictures of a lovely walk where DP and I both had sneaky off work and went for a walk in the woods, always makes me smile.

Dd (10) knows that he is ill and that the outcome was always going to be that we would have to put him to sleep, but when I try to talk to her she just says " no not yet mum"

After talking to my parents I know it is not fair on him the vet has given us some tablets for 10 days which should keep him comfortable but I know in my heart that it's time.

I find that usually it's best just to tell kids the truth. They are adept at seeing through bullshit and are probably more resilient than you think.

So sorry you're going through this. It's hard enough dealing with your own grief.

There was a brilliant book at my dd's school about a little boy whose dog died. The little boy was very sad but the dog was watching him from heaven and came to him in a dream and told him not to be sad, but to get a new puppy to play with and she - the deceased dog - would watch over him from heaven. It was bloody gorgeous and I'm sorry but I don't know what it was called but it even had me in tears. I'll see if I can find it.

Big unMN hugs.

Ooh I just found it, just like that! here

It might be a bit young, actually. Lovely story though. And there are loads of books about helping with the loss of a pet, google just brought up tons of recommendations.

Hope that's some help.

The same thing has just happened to us, making the 'right' desision was absolutely heartbreaking but it was the best one for our gorgeous lab. Dd is only 2.5 but he was her best friend.
We had loads of hugs and special time in his last few days. We got some pictures printed off for dd so she could always see him.
It's only been a few weeks and it's still incredibly hard, dd waves to each passing plane as she believes freddie is 'up in the sky', today I caught her kissing his picture and telling him she could come and get him soon .
I don't really have any advice apart from be as honest as you can, it will be hard for you all.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this too

Lucy Dh and I spoke tonight after we left the vets and decided that we would bring his ashes home after. I did think of getting a rose I love them and putting him under it.

Ilovemydog Was thinking about a book more for ds2 (5) so will have a look on amazon.

Thank you

You have my sympathies . Having put my own old boy to sleep last year, I totally understand how you feel. The thing is, you love them so much you don't want to let go, but it's harder still to watch them unhappy or suffering, so it has to be done

My kids were 8, 6 and 4. My 6yo was closer with the dogs than the other 2, and she wanted to be there when he went. the other 2 were upset but didn't want to be there. Have to say, they got over it quicker than I did. I am a vet, so did the deed myself with my DH holding him and dd talking to him, at the surgery. Strange but I felt better once I had done it.

This bit is the worst- the bit where you know it is coming and you worry about it all the time: is he suffering? How will we cope? Not being able to imagine life without him. You are grieving, but can't get on with grieving because he is still there. It's horrible. It's almost a relief when it is done and you can cry and grieve for the amazing wonderful dog he was, instead of agonising about what you should do and worrying about what is ahead. I wish you all the best, and hope it all goes as well as is possible x

Google 'heaven' in the children's book section on amazon, Very lovely way of explaining where the dog might be (sorry can't link, doing thr dream feed!)

I'm sorry Cherry. It's a hard hard thing to have to do. You're doing the last thing you can do for him as his loving and protective owner. Your kids will be sad which is a good normal reaction, but will be fine. Hugs.