Collecting our retriever puppy tomorrow afternoon and now absolutely terrified!

[LovelyMuffins]

Why? I feel overwhelmed and he is not even here yet . Is this normal?

I feel a little bit better now. Iam trying to get some perspective! I know I must sound nuts. I do think I am treating this whole settling in period as if I am beting judged or will do irreparable damamge if I don't get it right. i have yelled at my children unnecessarily and I feel awful. They are so excited and in love with him. I am going to have a glass of wine toniht and enjoy him He really is a beautiful boy

LovelyMuffins don't worry about how you are feeling. You have a complete stranger in your house who is demanding a lot from you. At the moment you don't really know each other so it is hard. Give it time and try to just enjoy him as a puppy. Don't think long term and really don't worry about what you do and if it is right etc. He will love you regardless!

You will find very soon that the bond between him and you has grown but it does take time and although puppies are fab they can be a bit overwhelming at .

It is not a life sentence but the beginning of a great friendship but like all friendships it does take a while to fully develop.

You don't sound nuts.

I felt like this the first few days/week with our pup. All the years of wanting a dog and all the preparation I still wasn't ready for the actual realisation that I was now a dog owner and the true idea that some things we are no longer able to do at a drop of a hat eg a days shopping trip.

It does pass, starting training and finding a nice woodland walk for all of us to do has really helped us. I really enjoy our family evening walk into the woods, the kids explore, it is quiet so pup is off lead and me and dh chat. A good dog sitter and willing friends has also provided us with opportunity to do some other things where we can't take Flynn with us.

Are your children due to go to school / nursery in September, I actually find things more settled in term time, school holidays affects the usual routine.

Oh Lovely! Totally understandable - not quite the same but I panicked when we got our rabbit - the shop kept going on about how they live for eight years, it was very scary! Love him though. I would LOVE a pup but imagine I would feel the same. Hope you enjoy your night cuddling Hero :)

Lovely, hope you are feeling better. It will pass I promise. All your feelings are familiar. Do you have friends with adult dogs you can chat to? Puppies are hard work but when they grow up to be well trained dogs they are a pleasure.

It does feel claustrophobic at first, I remember that feeling! It gets better, hold tight and you will be back here in a short time to tell us! promise!

lovely I could have written that post. We have a puppy who we collected a fortnight ago & I have been so stressed! Mostly because I so desperately want to do the right thing by her. DH has owned dogs before but I haven't and have felt a real fish out of water.

She does sleep really well now & we dont hear from her until after 7am most mornings.

I have also shouted more at my children, (& husband!) and consequently felt terrible. Saying that, they have enjoyed having her for the holidays and life will be easier when we can take her out in a couple of weeks.

I think it may be like the newborn baby stage when everyone says the first six weeks are the hardest, and you think 'whaaattt that long!'. At this present moment DH is lying on the floor alongside a sleeping puppy talking to her (why would someone talk to a sleeping dog?!?)& I am feeling much better.

I am much more relaxed already, and really quite in love with this funny creature .

One thing that can help is to stop worrying about training the dog and concentrate on training the children, it changes your focus a bit in a good way and reminds you that they are a welcome part of your family.

I am leaving dh in charge of our 5 month pup tomorrow and am irrationally concerned so you guys aren't alone.

You don't sound nuts!

But you do sound as though you are piling on the pressure. Stop and remember you have obv brought up children and that has to be much harder than a puppy.

The pup will just fit in with you. He will only want to please you, but might cock up a bit trying to work out how. You can't break him, and you won't ruin him for life even if you make a mistake.

Enjoy him for a minute or two every day! These doggies are fabulous when you just let them join your family. Take the pressure off yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect dog, or a perfect owner for that matter!

aha Daisy's said it much better than me

well I was just off to bed (Hero in tow .) and I checked MN quickly. I'm glad I did - you are all so lovely. I was ready for a flaming about how I feel as I do actually feel ridiculous. I really do. He is utterly scrummy, we are able to take him out form Monday and we are realy excited about it. I know now that this feeling will pass thank to all of you. It is just the most bizarre feeling I have had. It almost feels like depression, if that makes sense. But I am facing forward and whenever I have felt a bit woblbly today, I have just looked at him or run my hand sthrough his fur and I do feel very affectionate towards him. It's like he trusts me. Shame I don't trust myself! Keep posting please. It is really really helping me since some of you have had similar/identical feellings!

Identical feelings Muffins, identical and surviving!

I second the advice that it is nothing compared to bringing up children!

We are considering another dog. MyDog is nine now, hopefully he won't mind a puppy in the house but I am so looking forward to doing it all again. The new dog, the training, the lovely walks we'll share, it's a gorgeous time.

I loved training MyDog. We did Kennel Club Obedience for years. It is such a laugh and great fun and when you see how clever your dog has become because of all the hard work you've put in together, it's a proud moment. I love it when people compliment him and say how well behaved he is. Feel like a proud mummy. I'm really hoping I repeat this with the next dog.

Just don't put so much pressure on yourself. I think you've got so worked up by the perceived enormity of it in your head that you've turned it into something it's not. Getting a dog is lovely. This is the beginning of a long and happy relationship. You wouldn't be without them, you love them so much and they give so much back. They also don't give you any lip like kids do so in some ways they're easy!

Also it's nice getting a dog when you've already got children. They'll grow up together. Good luck with it all, relax and enjoy it.

I feel better about it every day but the responsibility felt overwhelming, but I guess that means we are taking it seriously.

She is very sweet and funny, she is currently asleep on the floor in our bedroom whilst DH & I enjoy a cuppa and it feels normal again. Last weekend I thought that I would never do this again as I was so paranoid about accidents but just a week has made a massive difference.

I do worry about how much she is eating though, whether she will behave at puppy training classes etc, much the same as I worry about the kids.....

I hope you got some sleep lovely, and that today is a good day.

Aww congratulations Muffins, any pics on your profile ?

Totally agree with everything Daisy had said, I can totally understand how you feel, but honestly Goldies are such laid back dogs just try and enjoy him ...he will be fine. You sound a lovely caring person in your posts .

I know lots of posters will not agree with me but PLEASE don't crate him. If he is 11weeks this will be traumatic for him and may cause more problems for you.

I am very , if it all gets too much I'll take him off your hands !

What a day! We have spent the day trying Hero out on his lead in the garden in preparation for his trip out tomorrow. He obviously thinks it is some sort of toy designed for canine consumption! How on earth do you get them over the excitement of the lead? His walk will be challenging to say the least! I do feel better today. The anxiety (and it is chronic) comes in crashing waves but he is winning me over as he is just so bloody gorgeous. I cannot stop feeling his gorgeous fur. My dc's are in love. We had more visitors today and my sis brought her lab over. He was VERy excited about that (mind you, for the the cats it was just a step too far! It was a bit worryt seeing him lunging for hte labs neck but apparently this is pretty normal . I think they may become great friends ..... I do find feeding times a massive headache with the cats too. I used to leave the cats bowls down all day but now he just hoovers up whatever is there (with no ill effects thus far) but I have begun to remove it. How do I manage feeding times as they all eat at th same time (so far). I get up with him, straignt to garden and feed cast inside but when he comes in they scarper and he makes a dash for their bowls. Am I doing this wrong????? I have a baby gate whcih I put across kitchen but this is not helping with feeding times

Can you put the cats food where they can reach it but he can't?

Or wait till the cats swipe him one?

oh God, so stressed . Have I made a monumental mistake???

Don't worry - he will learn not to touch the cat food, in time. We taught our pup from the beginning that he had to wait to be told that he could eat his food. Putting it down, making him wait - even 2 seconds - then giving him his 'release' phrase (we use 'off you go').

Now he is 11 months old and won't touch the cats' food unless he is told (okay, it took a LOOONG time but we've just about got there).

In the short term, could you try feeding the cats on one side of the gate and him on the other? We also had to do that - the cats were very smug eating such delicious fishy stuff when that stinky pup couldn't get at them! We sometimes even resorted to putting their food on the worktop (a big no in this house) and 'pretending' it was there so that they could jump up and tuck in.

And no, you haven't made a mistake. It will all work out, really it will.

I hope so. I feel so out of my depth. How do people do this? No noe seems as stressed as me.

Sorry - that doesn't read very well! I meant pretending we hadn't left the cat food on the worktop on purpose.

Will you be going to puppy classes with Hero? You will find other stressed-out owners there that you can swap tales of woe with. You may well find other pups and owners out and about - we've got quite friendly with someone with a pup of a similar age and it is SO reassuring to hear that mine isn't doing anything worse than hers.

When you do walk him everyone will come over a coo at how gorgeous he is and you will love every second. Trying a 5 minute walk up our High Street when pup was tiny took nearly and hour with all the 'ah, look at the puppy' we got!

Lovely, I was exactly as stressed as you. I was in sodding tears over the anxiety. Had I done the right thing? Was this a responsibility too far? What about when I went back to work? How would it work when we had to travel? What about all those spontaneous days out we used to enjoy? And on and on and on. Every hair I saw sent me in to a tailspin. I was paranoid that people would gag at the smell of dog when they entered my house (TBF I had good reason. Anal glands. Enough said). I drove myself mad with 'what if?'s. What if he bites someone? What if I cock up the training? I was a neurotic mess. Then I read something on here that really, really helped me. It was this: Put the notion of rehoming out of your mind. It is not an option. Now, adapt. And once I'd let go of this tantalising 'I could make all of this just...go away' thought, it all got easier. Commit to the pup, fully. He is your dog. The puppy stage passes. My dog is now 13 months old and you'd never part me from him. He is now family. But early on, he was an attention draining supernova which all my anxieties orbited.

Chickens, i Have no intention of baling on him. i will not be letting him leave here. This is his home. We are his family. I just feel so overwhelmed, i cannot actuallly believe it. Thankyou for your words. Really, thankyou

I was out walking the pup earlier and I remembered how, when he was about 4/5 months, I came home in floods of tears and sobbed and sobbed on DH's shoulder in the kitchen for ages. All because I couldn't get the pup to stop pulling - I'd tried everything everyone suggests but just couldn't get anything to work. I think, looking back, it was just the culmination of all the worries of pup-owning that caught up with me.

Well, I had forgotten all that until this afternoon and reading this thread. So - it does get better and you forget the really bad times.

SeilaWheeler, hindsight is a beautiful thing :-) It is not the actual practicalities as such that are freaking me out. Ithink it is just a massive adjustment and I am prone to anxiety. This sadly, has brought on a massive anxiety attack..I keep re-reading these posts and that really calms me down. It is proving anenormous help. I actually cannot believe that I am reacting like this to such a beautiful little (well quite biggish actually) puppy!!