Tentatively thinking about rehoming our 2 dogs (long)

[fhdl34]

I'm not sure why I'm posting about this, but it's weighing heavy in my heart and I just want to get some stuff down.
We have 2 lovely dogs, cavvy and a shih tzu, aged 9 and 8 respectively. We've had them since they were 8 weeks old, they are only 5 months apart in age.
We had our first child at the beginning of the year and the dogs have taken to her well, which we were very pleased about so no problems there.
However, I've just found out that when I go back to work next month, I'll be having a paycut, approx 16% of my weekly income. There are no more shifts available that I can do and although I've looked at getting a 2nd job again (I used to do two before I had my DD), we don't want to put our DD in childcare or leave her with family and I don't know that I have the energy to take on another job somewhere else.
At first I was just considering cancelling the dog insurance as it's a whopping £46 per month for both of them. The shih tzu has never had a thing wrong with her and we've never claimed for her, the cavvy has had allergies, recurrent ear problems and some teeth problems so we've claimed quite a bit for her. We were with the same insurer for years so they continued to cover the cavvy's conditions but they put their premiums up to approx £50 per dog at last renewal so we were forced to change insurers so the pre-existing conditions aren't covered anyway. The main reason we've always had insurance is because our first cavvy (who we had as an adult dog), came to use with a bad heart murmur and it was very distressing for us when she died. We knew cavvys were prone to heart murmurs so always had insurance for them but amazingly, our cavvy's heart is absolutely fine, the vet is stunned because by 9 years old, most have a murmur.
DH voiced what I'd been thinking, about whether we should rehome them but then as he pointed out, the new owners might not insure them. I said I didn't think I could do it and he said him neither but the thought is there and we decided we didn't want to do anything rash.
I was talking to a friend about it today and she asked how much the costs add up to over a year. Talking out loud to her, I estimated it to be £1200 and I've just totted it up and they cost us £1300 per year for clipping, insurance, food (they have to have a particular one because of the cavvy's allergies), flea prevention (the shihtzu has to have vet prescribed flea treatment, frontline doesn't work) and boosters. This doesn't include any vet bills that might not be covered by insurance either because it's not enough to claim or because it's a pre-existing condition.
I love my dogs, for so many years when we were told we couldn't conceive, they were our babies, they were our children. When I got pregnant, my Dad said we should get rid of them and the idea was inconceivable. I can't believe that now I'm actually seriously considering it because our finances are getting so much tighter and I can't just go out and do a whole load of overtime to give us some more cash. We don't have sky, we don't smoke, I don't drink and DH has a drink maybe once a month, which costs about £10. We don't go out, we earn approx £25k per year between us. I never considered the total cost of our dogs before, and even when we only had one wage coming in, there was no way I would ever have rehomed them. And now, I just can't believe what I'm thinking. My heart is saying not to do it because I love them and they're part of our family but my head is asking how we're supposed to afford the things our daughter needs. We're pretty frugal as it is, most of DD's clothes are second hand from ebay or charity shops, as are her toys and her cot and a few other bits were free off freegle.
I don't know what to do. I look at how much I scrimp and how I look at baby clothes in the sales and think they cost too much. And I worry about how most of DD's clothes for the first 6 months were gifts and I made the rest up with 2nd hand stuff, how are we going to afford clothes. The car is up for MOT, we're reducing our usage of that as it's a bigger car than we had previously and costs more to run. I just look at how we live our life, how we stretch our money every week to afford fresh fruit and veg. I worry about how we'll pay for shoes for DD.
I guess, and this hurts me to say it, I now see the dogs as a luxury rather than a necessity purely because they cost us so much money.
But I'm worried if we do rehome them, what if no-one wants them, how do we guarantee they don't get put down, I fear that no-one can or will love them as much as we do.
If you've read this far, please don't be harsh to me, but I'd be interested in if you've had a similar dilemma and what you did and how you coped.
Sorry for the long post, DD is waking so have to run, not sure if I will get back on tonight but thanks in advance if anyone replies.

No flaming from me. It sounds very hard. I wish I could offer you a solution. Hopefully someone will be along with some advice.

You poor thing. Never been in this position but wanted to send sympathy. If you do rehome can you choose some where that won't put down?
And to note that we look at the dog rehoming lists regularly. The non staffy types tend to go quickly even if they aren't young.

Honestly? Buy some dog clippers from Argos and clip the dogs yourself, it's not hard. I'm sure your dogs would rather stay with you and suffer a
Bad hair day or two!
Insurance wise, that is an insane amount to be paying. My horse costs £42 per month, and is covered for £6k vets fees, his full value of 8.5k for loss, theft, straying, death, PTs etc. so potentially a massive payo

Sorry iPhone malfunction.
A massive payout. A lot of my friends pay their insurance premium into the bank instead and have a savings pot for the vets. They do accept that if the horse really was seriously ill/injured they would have a massive bill, and leave space on a cc for this .

Definitely put them in a no kill rescue otherwise they will prob be pts

Can't offer any advice except to say your costs for them are very high. Any chance you could shop around for cheaper vets and buy the food / flea stuff online? Id be tempted to cancel the insurance aswell and would see it as the lesser of two evils although at their ages it would be sods law they'd need it.

Sounds like a hard situation, I do feel its a little bit off to think of pets you have had for that long as a luxury though.

Thanks for the suggestions rogers. we used to clip them ourselves, it took two of us 4 hours to clip our shih tzu as she absolutely hated it, she'd keep trying to run away, it'd take one of us to hold her and the other to clip and we're both awful at it, don't know how we'd manage it with a baby to look after, she doesn't even sleep 4hrs in a block at night! Plus their coats do look shockingly bad at the end. We take them to a cheap place to get them clipped as well, I've looked at taking them elsewhere but everywhere else is a minimum of £30 per cut (including anal glands, nail cutting, etc) whereas we pay £21 per cut and they need doing every couple of months.
As I mentioned in my OP, the insurance has come down by more than half, with the potential for a heart murmur we need insurance that will cover conditions every year on renewal with the amount starting again. This was the cheapest we could get using insurance comparison websites for the age of our dogs and their breeds. Pre-existing conditions don't matter as they don't cover them anyway. We considered getting insurance that covers accidents only but this wouldn't cover the heart murmur which is the main issue with cavaliers. Last year their premiums were £26 and £27 per month, that insurer wanted to increase the payment to around £50 per dog per month so we moved and now paying £23 and £22 per month.

I would... ditch the insurance, ditch the boosters (current school of thought is that they only need doing every three years, won't be an insurance requirement as no insurance), ditch the flea prevention (just treat if they actually get fleas, unless they're regularly going into kennels or anything like that where they need the prevention), learn how to do a basic clip from Youtube videos.

The chances of anyone else volunteering to spend £1300 a year on two older dogs, with health problems, that they haven't had for life and that they aren't nearly as attached to is slim. These people do exist but there are always more dogs than there are these homes.

Being pragmatic I would think it better that the dogs stay with you, uninsured, but are put to sleep in the security of their own home and family at the first sign of any serious (£££) illness than face the uncertainty of rehoming at their fairly advanced age.

hairylemon we already buy the flea stuff and food online using online discount codes where I can. I buy their food in bulk to get it cheaper, pets at home sell it for £8 per 2kg bag whereas I've managed to get it for £40 for a 15kg bag.
I'm scared to cancel the insurance as we just can't afford to spend what little savings we have on them if they're ill because we can't replace those savings now, we just don't earn enough. If they got ill and we weren't insured, we'd have to have them pts and I don't know if I could bear it.
I agree with you as well, I feel awful to call them a luxury but at the moment, with how much they cost in comparison to how we live (we spend more on haircuts for them than we do for ourselves!) that's what they feel like. They've never been a burden but when I look at areas we can save money, they are a huge expense for us. As I said, we are not extravagant people. I don't even dye my hair or wear make up, I have a wet cut at the hairdressers every 2 months which costs £20. We don't have an overdraft, debts or a credit card and having got into debt a few years back and cleared it, we're not prepared to get another credit card ever again.

toboldlygo is it safe to dump the boosters? I've always taken them for their booster and an annual check up, I'm so scared of the cavvy getting a murmur after what we went through with our first cavvy.
We have to treat for fleas, since we've lived in this house (6yrs), they get them all the time (there are dogs and cats living next door). When I got pregnant, we did a serious house de-fleaing, DH moved all furniture, we used indorex everywhere, carpets, skirting boards, floorboards, then bombed everywhere, some areas twice. Now the dogs have strict regular flea treatment to prevent them returning.
The insurance is half the cost of owning them, it's £600 per year so perhaps ditching that is the best thing.
We had the video of how to clip the dogs, it came with the clippers but we still can't do it and we did it how it said to. The shih tzu won't even be brushed, she absolutely hates it so we have to keep her coat as short as we can, then take her to be clipped before it gets to the matted/cotted stage. The cavalier could go every 3 months but the shih tzu can't go to be clipped on her own, she hates being away from the cavvy.
That's the other issue as well, they'd have to rehome together, it just seems completely unrealistic to me that anyone would want them or love them as much as we do.
I think I'll talk to DH about going with no insurance and ditch the boosters. If I still took them for an annual check up at the vet, would they insist on giving the boosters or can I refuse? I'd be reluctant to stop the check ups because we won't know if she has the murmur or not.

For all those advocating a no kill rescue, can I just say that the chances of these dogs finding a home at their age, especially with the Cav's health problems, are vanishingly small. Every single penny that small local rescues raise is hard won, and no rescue will stint on things like worming, flea treatments, medications etc. They also still have to pay vets bills, while the dog is in their care.

If you are really serious about rehoming, your best bet is to try a specialist Cav rescue - there might be a breed knowledgeable home with money to burn who might take them on for their twilight years. You could also try the Oldies Club, which specialises in trying to find homes for older dogs, but frankly is already deluged with surrenders that are desperate. Be prepared to wait while they try to find a home.

Insurance, what you are paying sounds about right for older dogs, especially for Cavs which are well known for having very serious health problems, including heart problems, syringomyelia and lots of other things. Even if you do decide to drop this, you should make sure you still have 3rd party cover. The cheapest way of doing this is to join Dogs Trust (£21 a year) who provide insurance cover as part of the membership package.

I simply cannot find words to express how I feel about regarding elderly dogs as an optional "luxury".

scuttlebutter I couldn't try a breed specific rescue, they must stay together and they aren't the same breed. We're lucky that apart from the cavvy's allergies, which are controlled by diet, she is in excellent health for her age, she had her check up just last week.
I know how it sounds calling them a luxury, it sounds like I don't love them but I do, they are my babies and I love watching my DD look at them and squeal in delight at them doing nothing but lying there snoring their heads off like they always do.
But when I look at the cold, hard figures on my financial budget, anything else that costs that much that doesn't put food on the table, keep a roof over our head, keep the house warm and functioning and gets us to and from work to earn the money to pay the bills is a luxury.
After all our bills, mortgage, food and petrol costs, we are now left with just £200 per month to provide for our 6 month old daughter, pay our annual house insurances, pay for annual car insurance and maintenance, pay for any birthday and christmas presents, get haircuts, clothing for all of us, everything. And before anyone suggests tax credits, we earn £25k between us and although that's below the cap, we've been told by tax credits because I've taken a paycut, we now have to earn less than £23.5k to be eligble for even child tax credit.
So I know it's awful to call them a luxury, I feel awful to call them that but if it was me or DH spending that amount on something non-essential to keeping us alive, healthy and warm, that's what I'd call it.
I'm sorry to get upset, but this does upset me, I wish this wasn't our situation, I wish £100 a month wasn't so important. I'm petrified of cancelling the insurance and then my cavvy suddenly gets the heart murmur I've been dreading since we brought her home. We couldn't afford the medication to keep her well so she'd have to be pts. And I'll have to live with the fact that if I'd kept her insurance I'd have had who knows how much longer with her. I hate that I have pets that I can no longer afford to keep in the way I want to keep them, well cared for with all the back up should they fall ill and in a comfortable state.
When we were in debt a few years back, we were in a worse financial state than we are now, we had just £10 spare a month each and everything else went to paying off the debts and we put up with that because it was just us and the dogs, they still had the particular food that they needed and the insurance, got clipped etc and we just went without. But we have a daughter now and whilst I know I have a responsibility to my pets, I have a greater one to my daughter in making sure she is clothed and fed. Our food bill hasn't gone up yet because she's only just started on solids but it will do once she starts eating a normal amount of food.
I'm sorry to sound so pissed off but I'm finding this very hard, I'll be discussing again with DH and maybe we'll just have to take that risk of cancelling their insurances and hope that they continue to avoid serious illness because without insurance, we just simply wouldn't be able to afford big vet bills.

I am sorry to snap when I did ask for advice and I'm grateful to those that have posted. I'm going to bed now, as I said in the beginning, I was doubtful that I could even rehome them anyway, I just can't bear the thought that they'd be with someone else who might not care for them as much as we do. I'm very tired, my DD is still up 3hrly in the night so I really should go to bed and stop worrying for a bit. Thanks again to those that have responded. It has helped to at least write some of these issues down.

My parents keep an empty credit card (I think avail. bal is around 5k) for pet related emergencies rather than having pet insurance. That way the money is there if they need it, if not then they're not shelling out every month for something they're not using. although they often use the bank of D0oin for smaller pet related accidents as that is interest free

Ours are insured because I am not disciplined enough to keep a credit card empty but it could be an option for you.

I have to say I agree with Scuttle in that you are not going to find a home easily for two elderly dogs who need to stay together.

Personally if it was me I'd be moving hell and high water to keep my dogs and would rather cut back on christmas presents, birthday presents and haircuts, which are a luxury in my books. My dogs are not. They are my family and an important part of my social life.

Avon etc. could help with cash without the need for childcare, as would a couple of evening shifts in a bar, while DH is home and the children are sleeping.

Clothes/pressies can be second hand from charity shops/ebay. You daughter will neither know nor care. Nor will she be bothered about this christmas or birthday and next year she will be likely to be more interested in the empty boxes than what was inside them.

I am really trying to be constructive here. This is a budgeting question rather than a dog question - the costs of these dogs hasn't come out of a clear blue sky. I think you are going to have to look again at a second job. You need to be making up a shortfall of around £25 - 30 a week - can you find a local bar job on the evenings/weekends when DH is at home to take care of DD? If your work has been cut back by 16% then presumably you have more time available? Could you do something home based? How about ironing for other people? There are often cards in our local shop for people offering this - and a non smoking environment is a particular advantage.

Ask your family to give you vouchers for things like grooming or meds instead of birthday or Christmas presents.

Most towns have a wholesaler where you can get food cheaply - can you borrow a card to get access, or ask anyone you know with access if they can get stuff for you on a visit? If you are more rural, try a Countryside or Farmers store, and see if your Cav can eat any of the foods for Working dogs - they don't have VAT on them, so are cheaper.

Ask your vet if they do an all in "package" for things like annual checks, boosters, vax, worming etc - lots do these days, and one near us was recently offering vax for life for a lump sum. If you are going to ditch the insurance, you really, really need to have a credit card. Even if you need to pay to PTS rather than treat, many vets will ask for payment up front, and with cremation costs as well, this is quite expensive now.

Do you have an FE/Agricultural college near you where people train in dog grooming? If so, do they need subjects for students to practice, like trainee hairdressers do?

OP your obvioulsy tired and not getting sufficient sleep, as a night worker I know when Im tired I cant spell at all I dont always make rationale decisions. Is it possible for you to find a temporary home for your dogs whilst you get through this phase with your DC, if you get more sleep a 2nd job may not feel seem such a ridiculous idea, you may be able to think up other ways of saving money. Also although you say that your pay has been cut back by 16% maybe this situation will change currently there may be no suitable shifts but as a shift worker myself I know this situation can also change very suddenly; people go of sick on matt leave or just leave. What you dont want to do is rehome the dogs and in a few months when your getting more sleep regret your decision. The Cinamon trust provides temporary foster homes for eldelry dog owners is there an equivilant for young dog owners? Or approaach the breed societies for your two dogs and ask if someone can give you a hand I would have thought they would rather find a temporary foster home for your dogs than a permanent home or can a friend have then for a couple of months? I wouldn't worry the dogs aren't the same breed we know someone who got a boxer from boxer rescue and he had to come with his friend; a beagle I suspect its quite common.

Thanks all, I'll read in more detail when when I can but a family wedding this weekend so any free time today I have to get everything ready for that. Just quickly though given OU previous issues with debt a credit card is a definite no go, it's too much of a risk and we don't have the spare income to clear it. My DD is breastfed, doesn't take a bottle and is fed to sleep so I'm rather limited in the hours I can be out of the house as she still wakes through the night as well. My hours haven't been cut, my pay has so no extra time has been made available. I already have discussed cutting xmas birthdays down - we have large families - and we usually have money or vouchers for ourselves to buy any new clothes we need so we don't have to pay for it. As I think this morning, I still can't see us going through with rehoming but I guess we'll have to take the leap with cancelling the insurance. Am looking for second jobs already, perhaps something early morning. Will come back to this thread in a few days when I have more time, as I think there are some ideas for me to explore.

Congratulations on your baby! Dogs are expensive. I think we pay about £1500 a year all in for our 3 collies - that's just food, insurance, vaccinations, flea and worming stuff and a few tennis balls. We get given a lot of clothes for the children - freecycle is good for this kind of thing. Babies grow so fast and it is easy to get clothes and toys very cheaply until they are about 5 or 6. I started cutting the dcs hair myself because we had a problem with nits. This was over a year ago. Dh and I rarely get our hair cut (about twice a year). £50/week is bugger all spare cash. It is really hard. When your dd starts eating proper food, she can eat pretty much the same as you but mashed up. Are you ok in yourself? Handling debt can be very stressful.
I very rarely have new clothes and often my entire outfit has cost under a fiver apart from my underwear. Also re: presents: your company is the greatest gift. A present is a token. You sound very resourceful and determined.
Our budget is very tight and the dogs are an expense, but they are part of the family and I would live in a shed to keep them. I'm not sure the children would approve though!
Can your families help in any way? My own family is as much help as a chocolate tea pot on a practical level, but not all families are like mine!

I'm going to start a thread about how much our dogs cost us, because I think it is easy to underestimate the cost. I really feel for you, OP, because I imagine you feel that your back is to the wall financially. I don't think you really want to rehome your dogs, do you? I think you're just worn down and worried which is completely understandable. I hope that you can find ways of cutting costs and still keeping them.

Dogs really are expensive. DH and I were just talking the other day and adding up how much we've spent on our two over the last few months, it's an absolute fortune!

I think you (or a rescue) are really going to struggle to find a home for dogs of that age though. I hope you can find a way to make things work financially. I would cut back on things like presents - in my family we don't do Christmas etc presents for adults (and I'm sure people would understand if they know you're having a difficult time) and very tiny children like your daughter don't know or care anyway!
Not sure about insurance - we have an uninsured older dog, but then we have savings which we could pay any big expenses from, and sadly we are not really expecting him to be around long-term.

Clipping them yourself might not give perfect results cosmetically, but wouldn't it be good enough?

OP wrt to Christmas, spend a tenner at the pound shop on the kids and then explain to the rest of your family that the choice was either get them presents, or have your dogs rehomed, tbh they would have to be twats of the highest order to get the funnys about that. Your baby wont give a hoot about what it gets for Christmas as long as they can have a cardboard box to play with, and as its a baby they will be inundated with present from other people anyway. That should save you a massive amount just this year and then hopefully things will pick up.

Keep practising clipping them yourself, it will get easier and the one who is a bit jumpy when you do it will settle when he gets used to you doing it. And if it looks a mess its not as if they are going to care, am sure if they could tell you they would say they dont mind looking a bit scraggly if the other option is them not living with you anymore. And yes cancel the insurance but still put maybe £10-£20 a month aside to go towards any treatment they may need and if they need anything expensive maybe you could ask family to loan you the money?

I feel for you in your situation as I have been there :(
Firstly you have said you do not WANT to rehome the dogs but the amount they cost is prohibitive so:
The insurance is your biggest outgoing and you have already done what you can to diminish this, thereby lowering your level of cover (as the pre-existing conditions are not covered) so there seems little else to be done there. You either continue to pay, pay the monthly amount into a seperate account (which is unlikely, at their stage of life, to come anywhere near covering big vets bills) or as dooin says, keep a CC simply for unexpected vet bills (you're a stronger woman than me if you can do that ) Either that or cancel the shi-tzu's cover, you say she is in good health and your biggest concern is the cav's heart- this would almost halve your insurance.
Flea treatment- I used to have a MASSIVE flea problem (I feel here I should point out I used to run a pub and it was customers dogs, not me personally!) so I sympathise and I understand your phobia of them coming back. This year we have used a Seresto (sp) collar from the vets as we took the ginger dog abroad and it was recommended for the continent. It was around £30 and lasts 8 months so cheaper than Advantage/tix. If you decide to stay with spot on treatments then most of the year you do not need to apply them as frequently as it says on the box- use common sense.
Food is another issue of yours because of "allergies" What are these allergies and how do they manifest themselves? Many dogs do grow out of allergies or they at least diminish over the years. Recently there have been a lot of new hypoallergenic foods out there which are VERY good and cheaper than prescription diets. Also do you feed both dogs on the same diet for convenience, if you do then stick the non allergy sufferer on standard food and feed them seperately if necessary. Perhaps look at a raw diet (good for allergies but quite involved and with a young child may be too much to take on)
Clipping is something you need to decide for yourself. If money is that tight then work on either getting your shi-tzu better at being groomed or practise your clipping skills (I used to clip the gundogs and it was humiliating for me when they went out. They (thankfully) had no idea!)
Boosters? If they have been vaccinated up till now then they will retain some cover from that and it is more money saved (unless you use boarding kennels or you maintain your insurance-check your policy) The vet can only advise you, they cannot make you have your dogs jabbed.
Ultimately the decision is yours and will not be an easy one. I think describing your dogs as a luxury was perhaps the wrong way to phrase it, though I totally understand what you mean. Its now a question of whether you can bring the cost down to a more acceptable level that allows you to remain as a family- good luck OP.

Hi I just want to say I do feel for you I have been where you are now. I above to say though I could never part from my dog, I would sooner go hungry she is no luxury she's one of the family. I have a dd14 and ds4. I second the idea of cancelling the insurance at least for one and then keeping a empty credit card for emergencies-should a emergency occur worry about that later, you said yourself your in desperate times. Have you talked to local charities who maybe able to help out with flea/worming costs? I knew our local one does. Food well can u call the suppliers or bulk buy? I do understand this my girl eats her way through £30 of specialist food a week due to allergies. Don't buy any presents etc. I'm sure your family will understand and I'm sure your daughter will prefer her lovely canine companions to anything else you offer, money can't buy such loyalty and friendship.

Having a baby is stressful and not sleeping enough makes it even more stressful and then you are short of cash and going back to work and child care is expensive especially if you're on a low income and to top it all it is only natural to want your baby to have nice things. OP many years ago when my DC's were both babies and one always ill and in hospital a women in sainsbury's car park just came up to me and said "it will get better". Now fourteen years later I can hardly remember the months of no sleep the endless hospital wards etc. We sometimes have to prioritise and make difficult decisions and maybe you will eventually accept that you have to rehome the dogs but if I was you id persevere a bit longer your daughters getting older you'll hopefully get less tired work might find you more shifts you never know. Maybe relooked at the insurance the allergenic diet or maybe can you do dog walking lots of people are working longer hours and are using dog walkers.

Realistically they're not going to get rehomed
Were I you, I'd stop paying the health insurance and ditch the special diet and boosters. And be strict with yourself that if there are any expensive health problems in the future you'll have the PTS- you've done your best by them.

I would revisit the clipping, either lots of treats and desensitisation or muzzle on short lead grab and go!

It won't take four hours if you pretend you are preparing pooch for the marines!

You could conquer this one:)