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Bad dog stories

19 replies

ChickensHaveNoLips · 18/05/2012 11:02

Make me feel better. Jasper just flung himself in to our new and expensive metal venetian blinds. My fault, because I should have raised them before I went outside with the exciting chickens. Sob. So while I desperately attempt to squash them back in to shape, please share your hounds' worst crimes. Jasper knows I'm cross, so is trying to drop a well chewed shoe in to my tea.

OP posts:
daisyrain · 18/05/2012 11:10

We went next door one evening to a bbq, left our dog in the garden so he could see us.
Didnt realise he was trying to dig through until we found a really huge crater & mud all indoors.
He still got a sausage though!

horsemadmom · 18/05/2012 14:13

MadLab is a terrible football theif. In fact, we always carry compensation money just in case.
DH isn't as good at stopping M.L. from going after them- I've developed a tequnique of scanning the park and making sure that M.L. is focused on me and the walk becomes a training exersize.
So, DH and M.L. come back from a walk and inform me that my favourite actor was very nice and understanding when M.L. pelted over and stole his sons' football and popped it. Just glad it wasn't me.

Elibean · 18/05/2012 14:53

Ooh, timely. I have some rather nice (but thankfully not expensive) Ugg-type boots, with a toggle on the side.

I was late walking Mouse yesterday, and as he is a Very Good Boy these days I let him have the run of the house with the back door open so he could play in the garden for a bit...he was SO good an quiet....so of course I discovered him happily chewing one boot, minus toggle, in the middle of the lawn Angry

He does such a good crawl-on-tummy-oh-I'm-so-sorry-I-may-wee-on-the-floor-in-contrition thing that I had to content myself with a slight growl Hmm

Good to know I'm not alone!

ObviouslyOblivious · 18/05/2012 14:59

Oblivious Dog has eaten most of a Christmas cake, several packs of butter, DS's farmer that goes with his tractor, the sheep that goes with his farm.
Obvious Dog is generally good, most of his naughtiness is cat related.

ScarlettInSpace · 18/05/2012 14:59

Years ago, our family GS managed to get into next doors kitchen and steal their Sunday leg of lamb that was resting on the side Blush

TheCunnyFunt · 18/05/2012 16:58

My Aunties old boxer stole a chicken once when they went out and left him home. The chicken was cooking in the oven, he opened the oven and took said chicken out, I'm not sure of he waited till it was all cooked though.

Freddiebump · 18/05/2012 21:56

My 4 yo poodle x border collie has recently wrecked my new suite :( I've always had leather and, although she isn't technically allowed on the furniture, I know when I go out she probably gets up, as our house is open plan so there's nowhere to contain her, and she's never been destructive. However, I got a nice new chenille suite which within the first 3 days was shredded as it became apparent she is digging to get comfy! So I now have a ruined suite with throws on :( and I have to rearrange furniture every time I go out to cover the suite so as it doesn't get any worse. FWIW, the sofa is really uncomfy anyway, and I hate it, but I really can't afford a new one.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 18/05/2012 22:06

Ah the joy of dogs Grin!

My worst dog moment came when StoopidDog was about 2 yrs old. My dad and I had taken him and my wheelchair-bound granny for a walk in the local park on a lovely spring afternoon. Dad kept on at me to let him off the lead. The park seemed deserted, so I finally acquiesced, and StoopidDog had a ball splashing through all the muddy puddles and getting good and filthy.

We turned into a clearing and saw at a short distance...a wedding party standing posing for photos Shock. Bride in v. expensive looking meringue, 4 bridesmaids in pale pink silk and a little flowergirl in white, to name just a few. StoopidDog was predictably delighted to see them, and bounded towards them to give them a lovely greeting. The bride was screaming, flowergirl crying, dad and I racing after StoopidDog, but nowhere near as fast as he was. He ran straight at them, then feinted right..then left...then ran round and round them in exuberant muddy circles. Oh the shame! All I could see were pound signs flashing in front of my eyes.

Thankfully, we managed to catch him. But didn't really have time to listen to the beratings of the bride, as we suddenly turned to see granny headed backwards in her wheelchair down the hill- we had forgotten to put the brakes on! Was all like something from some ridiculous farce, and never to be forgotten!

StoopidDog is gone now (Sad) but the memory still makes me shudder!

peeriebear · 18/05/2012 22:09

This Christmas past, my old mutt managed to get the (good quality, free range, DH went out of his way to pre-order and buy from butchers) turkey crown on Christmas night. It had been put way out of his reach and wrapped in foil. It was a big solid mass of meat and the greedy greedy fucking bastard creature ate the whole thing including the foil. He pebbledashed the garden all Boxing day. I am still bitter about his theft.

HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen · 18/05/2012 22:12

My lovely old Labrador left her front teeth in the stream in Glenridding after she leapt gracefully in the air to catch a rock.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 19/05/2012 21:56

Yesterday the Jaws Of Death managed to chew through the lawnmower cable in 3 places in the time it took for dh to fetch the extension cable from the garage. Since we don't live in Buckingham palace that was about 3 minutes. Quite impressive but you probably guessed from the nickname she's very good at chewing .

MoaningMinnieRisesAgain · 19/05/2012 22:02

Both the dogs sneaked up stairs and ate all the gold coins out of the children's stockings at Christmas. Followed by the small dog leaving small puke puddles on their beds later in the day. Nice.

FC will be hanging them up out of reach next year.

littlepinkfizz · 19/05/2012 22:15

That made me really chuckle joo! Cannot imagine how awful you must have felt though! These stories are great!:o

musicposy · 20/05/2012 00:24

Our elder dog chewed all kinds of things as a puppy. The most ambitious was the corner of a wall. We've painted it since but it still looks well chewed. The most annoying was the piano leg. Hmm

Younger dog has a good line in running through mud and then looking out for people walking in white clothes. She chases cyclists and joggers if they come up silently and I don't get her sat beside me in time. She also likes rolling in fox poo and then running up to people to be stroked, head silently steaming. It's hard to hold my head up in the village Blush. I've decided that 5.30am is an ideal time to walk her...

out2lunch · 20/05/2012 00:35

made a big mistake when i was chatting to a friend over the front garden wall when my dog was a puppy
the patio doors were open at the back of the house - not a problem although after a few minutes i did wonder why he was so quiet
when i came back into the house i saw he had carried indoors a small pot plant and shook it and shook it and shook it to get it out the pot
the whole of my front room (18x20 feet) was covered in earth - you couldn't see any of the carpet and the smell..........

higgle · 20/05/2012 11:18

My first dog, Boots, was a bit of a character - a sort of Collie/spaniel and lots of other breeds cross. I noticed one morning - when she was a few months old -that she was paying a lot of attention to a leather covered notebook which was rather precious to me so when I went out I put it behind some pot plants on the window sill behind the dining table. I went out for an hour or so and when I came back there she was, sitting in the middle of the dining table, having pulled the plants over, compost everywhere, chewing the notebook. Her guilty eyes met mine
and then slowly a huge puddle spread across the table.

horsemadmom · 21/05/2012 14:28

Forgot the incident when MadLab and I were at the bus stop chatting to a friend. I wasn't paying enough attention as M.L. was busy chewing through a stranger's shopping bag containing dog food. The bus arrived and the man lifted his carrier bag and a stream of kibble trailed him onto the bus.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/05/2012 15:35

There are plenty of stories I could tell - like this story I posted last week, about my terrible monday night - tuesday morning.

But probably the best, recent one, is courtesy of ddog2. Dh took both dogs on the train to the Clyde coast, and got off at one station, intending to walk along the coast to the next station, then get the train back home. The dogs had a wonderful time, running in and out of the waves, chasing seagulls and sticks, and generally having a lot of fun. Then dh noticed ddog2 trying to pull something off the rocks (she was a way ahead of him at that point), and then, when she couldn't get whatever it was free, she lay down and rolled in it.

Turns out it was a seal - well, half a seal - actually, half a rather runny dead seal - and it smelt to high heaven - and having rolled in it, ddog2 stunk too. And dh had to bring her back on the train - so he stayed as far as possible away from everyone else - and even ddog1 (a labrador who likes many stinky things including fox poo), didn't want to sit anywhere near her!

When dh got them home, he left them in the garden whilst he came in and told me all about ddog2's evil deed - and about his plan to bring her through the house, upstairs, through our bedroom and into the ensuite to give her a shower! My response to this suggestion was not very positive, and even though the dogs usually get a nice warm shower when they get really dirty or roll in fox poo or dead fish, this time I insisted it was the cold water hose in the garden.

It took two goes of shampoo in the garden to get her acceptable, and even then she needed another shower to finally banish the pong!

Then there's the story of the lab puppy that dh's family had when he was a boy - it went missing one day, and they searched the neighbourhood for ages looking for it - and eventually found it in the compost bin. The compost bin had previously been the coal bin - with a big lid at the top, and a smaller hatch at the bottom, where you got the coal out - and so was an ideal compost bin - tip the stuff in at the top, and later, get wellrotted compost out the bottom. Unfortunately the puppy had discovered the hatch and was eating her way up through the compost heap. She was rather sick!

Another eating story - this time ddog1 (labrador ergo greedy) got into the cupboard where the big bag of her dry dogfood was kept, and ate 4.5kg of it at one go! She looked like a stout brown furry barrel on legs, and lay on her side groaning! We didn't feed her for several days!

MrsZoidberg · 21/05/2012 16:55

My inlaws live in an annex connected to our house. We all share the same drive.

MiL had bought FiL some lovely expensive fish as a treat.

She unpacked her shopping and discovered the expensive fish was missing, so rang the supermarket to see if she'd left it at the till - nope.

About an hour later, I spotted something silver in the grass. Went out and found wrapper from the said expensive fish - minus the fish of course, - and one very contented Husky asleep in the grass next to it.

I had been watching the boot of the car, as Husky likes to sneak into the boot and "help" unload the shopping so I know she didn't get it then, the only way she could of got it was by running up behind MiL and sneaking it out of the bag!

It's a good job MiL loves her so much - FiL not so much when he found out Blush

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