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What can we do to help our newf?

3 replies

Emmielu · 13/05/2012 10:01

I live with my parens & we have a 15 month old male newfoundland. I've been here since my parents first brought him so hes very familiar with me & DD. Theres so many problems im not sure where to start. I'm mostly looking after newf as my parents work long shifts. He's usually only left when i drop DD off at school, go shopping, see a friend or pick dd up from school so maximum 3 hours. Bear in mind i dont usually go out a lot to leave him on his own. Hes absoloutely fine with me. He's not noisy, tear the furniature, bark at me, bite me. In fact i almost forget hes around. Hes so quiet & content. I leave the front door open for him so he can wander in & out when im in the house, on nice days i sit with him outside & we play football for a while because i've had to stop walking him because he pulled my socket out of joint chasing a cat but it didnt stop my confidence around him. If we get a visitor at the gate, i take hold of his collar, ask him to sit & he does so, he lets the person in the gate & then is obviously excited by them but has the attention then calms down. Hes a pleasure to have when its me & him. We cuddle on the sofa, share a biscuit or 2 lol! I dont have problems getting him in. Yes ok it doesnt work as well as a simple "on your bed" command but a few treats & hes in the house & im out the door in mins & he wont touch a thing while im gone.

My dad walks him & usually is out of the house from 6:30am - 7:15pm so its a long day for the newf without his master. Newf can misbehave around my dad after the walk but i think thats because the time they get back is usually 8pm so for my dad its winding down time, for the newf its playtime still. Newf will bark in his face, pull the towel off the radiator, chew the wooden stair gate & even try to bite my dad.

My mum doesnt get on with the newf at all. I dont know if shes scared of him or if hes not what she hoped he would be. It was my mum who desperately wanted one. She wont walk him. Never has done & point blank refuses to. She wont play much with him. She doesnt like his drooling, yet its normal for all dogs when feeding them a treat or after they've eaten. She doesnt like wiping his chin when hes had a drink & she does keep commenting on how naughty he is & how hes a little sh*t. She also keeps saying that he needs to have the snip which is true but i cant help but think that maybe Newf picks up on all of this & its why he resents her? Hes domanerring between my mum & dad. He wont let my mum sit near my dad & often barks a lot at my mum. She panics when it comes to getting him in. She'll get him in 40mins before she has to go & wont let him out. I wait until all my things are ready THEN i get him in. That way hes not trapped for no reason in the house with me knowing i have to go soon. My dad thinks maybe my mum doesnt interact with the newf much.

What can we do? Im moving soon & will have to pop home every few times a week to feed him, let him out, play outside with him etc but i cant keep coming home just to try & get him in the house for my mum, or come to my mums at 6:30 when dd is having a bath & occupy the dog because my mum cant control him. They need to learn to deal with him regardless of whether im here or not. Otherwise i'll never be in my own home. I will actually now point out that just recently hes been like DD's best friend! DD loves him & ignores him & stays out of the way when hes naughty but when its just me, dd & newf hes as lovely as can be.

OP posts:
MiseryBusiness · 13/05/2012 10:58

I'm sorry you and your family are having a hard time. He sounds lovely, really.
Maybe talk to your Mum about what she would like to happen?
Have you thought about having him yourself? Is that even possible? He seems to be more comfortable with you and your DD.
Failing that you could find your local ADPT trainer and see if they will help your mum and Newf create a bond and teach him to respond more to your Mum and Dad?

Emmielu · 13/05/2012 11:21

I'd love to take him with me when I move but not all places allow dogs. I hate the thought of him being alone most days cause I'm moving but at the risk of sounding selfish I'm not staying home with my parents until it all calms down. DD could be 8 before that happens & it's not fair. I think adpt would be the best idea.

OP posts:
MiseryBusiness · 13/05/2012 11:43

A few of places will consider dogs and sometimes if you offer to pay a bigger deposit they may consider it then too, if all else fails.

www.adpt.co.uk

Hope everything works out for you all.

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