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I understand that puppies are hard work but in what way?

109 replies

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 09:39

I know that they need time, love, obedience training, attention, socialisation, housetraining and so on. I hear that they are tiring and can be emotionally exhausting and frustrating. But how hard really is it? I am not underestimating it - but when you are looking at all these beautiful doe eyed puppies it is easy to get bowled over by their cuteness and kid yourself that it is going to be easier than it is. I need harsh facts! btw - I am on waiting lists for a Golden Retriever or Labrador pup from reputable breeders.

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AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 14:45

my oh my - what a mixture of responses! I am swinging from excited anticipation to fear and trepidation! I guess that is normal though - it is a massive undertaking and I do not want to get this wrong.

Asinsine, mrsJB and alicia what heartwarming stories of your puppies early days. I think you basically have to take it right back to understanding what a puppy/dog needs; consistency, training, time, exercise, love and boundaries. What I will need by the sounds of things is masses of advice, patience, kitchen roll and valium! Oh, and a good inner voice telling me to stay calm and not get stressed. All phases will pass as long as I am clear and consistent. Does that sound about right? I am a bat concerned about the exercise thing as I have been reading that pups need less exercise in order to not damage their joints etc. mins per week of their life - any advice on this?

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PurpleFrog · 27/02/2012 15:34

AllergicToNutters - I think it really depends on your outlook and the character of your puppy. Are you an anxious parent who tries to do everything right, or are you very laid back? I think that will go a long way to determining how hard you find it!

Our lab is 20 months, and being a "show type" is big - 35kg when weighed recently. He is very tall, though. When our trainer first met him at around 13/14 weeks she said, "He will be a lovely dog - when he is about 2!" I reminded her of this a couple of weeks ago and said I was counting down the weeks until his 2nd Birthday. She though for a moment and said "A lab.... 2.... I must have been feeling generous the day I said that!" Grin

Seriously, though, labs and other large breeds take a long time to mature and for a long time you can have a nutty puppy with no sense in an adult's body, which can be very wearing. Our lab is great at home 99% of the time, but gets very excited when out and about - he just wants to play with every dog he sees. Sigh!

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 16:08

hmmm - that's a good yardstick Purplefrog. I am not an anxious parent, fairly chilled as long as I am being shown respect Smile. But I have suffered from anxiety in the past (on top of things now thankfully). My main concern is getting my head around the impact the dog will have on my ability,at the moment, to make decisions at the drop of a hat. I am not likely to have a surge of lunch invites, or take up a new job or anything so it should be fine Smile

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ChickensHaveNoLips · 27/02/2012 16:18

Purple, that is a very good point. I'm a perfectionist, prone to obsessing about the details and suffer with anxiety issues. So at times, this has been very stressful. But, and it's a huge but, it has brought more joy than despair. My DC adore the pup, and think of him as a hairy brother Grin And last night, when I had a bit of a meltdown about moving Blush, it was Jasper that came over, offered me the paw and put his floppy eared head on my lap in commiseration. The lifestyle change shouldn't be underestimated (it's been raining here, and the pup is, er, fragrant Envy), but a dog really can be a best pal :)

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 16:31

what dog do you have chickens? And how old is he now? He sounds lovely Smile and very in tune with you - how lovely for you .x

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AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 16:33

Chickens - i finished prematurely! I did tend to obsess about nap times and routine with my children - they're older now so it is not so much of an issue but that has got me thinking. I do think that we tend to worry much more these days. When we had a dog growing up, my parents pretty much just got on with it! The dog was a dog and that was that. She was loved and adored but she was simply our dog. maybe we should go back to basics Smile

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ChickensHaveNoLips · 27/02/2012 16:35

He's a cocker/springer cross, and he's coming up for 8 months old now :) He is lovely, but like all puppies prone to being a total PITA Grin DS1 has a friend around for tea, and I'm basically running interference to stop the poor child being smothered in spaniel lurve Grin

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 16:36

OMG purplefrog - I have just looked at your picture of your dog. He is absolutely beautiful. Sooo gorgous. How could you ever be cross with a pup like that!? Stunning Smile

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AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 16:39

springer/cocker cross - a Sprocker??! - a lively mix I'm sure- good luck with teatime Chickens! GrinGrin

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PurpleFrog · 27/02/2012 16:56

Thank you AllergicToNutters - he looks like butter wouldn't melt, doesn't he? I keep meaning to put up a more recent photo as well.

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 17:20

put one up of him ripping your remote control to bits! That should be a leveller for me Grin

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Slubberdegullion · 27/02/2012 17:42

I enjoyed the early puppy days very much, but then I had the luxury of time and a child-free house during the school day to devote to my lab (now two).

Tbh it's not complicated, in the same way that having a baby is not complicated, you just have to do the same things over and over and over again. Labs are so motivated by their stomachs it certainly made things like house training and getting started in the basic commands very easy.

We crate trained but unlike most on here I never left her overnight to cry. I slept downstairs on the sofa bed for a week or so, the first few nights with the crate door open and from then on with it closed. If she woke up in the night I nipped out into the garden with her, treated any wees or poos and then straight back into the crate. After a couple of weeks I just left her to go through the night (by accident not design) and she was fine.
Housetraing was dead easy, but you are up and down like a bride's nightie taking the dog out into the garden. Took us about a week to train.

The other biggies when they are small (imo) are socialisation, the more you can pack into those early weeks the better, and training your dog to settle and to be calm and happy when you leave the room and also the house.

All of the rest of the stuff will come with the right training. I used a clicker and LOVED teaching her all the different commands apart from the chewed fingers. I didn't find it frustrating or exhausting at all, just loads of fun and really interesting watching her learn.

Slubberdegullion · 27/02/2012 18:08

As you,ve asked for harsh facts I'll tell you the worst bit (for us) of having a lab pup. The chewing. The chewing combined with the sharp crocodile teeth. My dds really, really did not enjoy having a Labrador puppy in the house. It hurts quite a lot when puppy teeth meet fingers and I have the blood stained dog training books as a reminder of that time.

Yy bite inhibition, something else you need to work on. Lots. Grin

clam · 27/02/2012 18:20

Was just about to post that nearly all of my experience with our 10mo cockapoo has been good, when I thought I should perhaps glance back at the "new puppy" thread I was part of last June/July!

He's such a sweetheart all-round now, that I can't believe I sat in the garden and cried in despair one morning in July when I was waiting for him to poo! Actually, I can't believe now that I sat out there and waited for it at all! I was a bit obsessed I think. He was slower than most to be house-trained, but he got it in the end of course. And we've learned the hard way to keep things out of his reach, especially as he's turned out to be much larger than we anticipated and can swipe things off kitchen surfaces if we don't watch out. I'd rather he didn't shred sticks all over the carpet, and bounce around in the boggy bit on the moor during walks, necessitating manhandling him up to the bathroom for a shower. We also have to be scrupulous about shutting doors to rooms we want kept safe or tidy.

However, I found it manageable (and there are many people who will tell you that I'm the least doggy person you could meet) because dh and the kids (13 and 15) pulled their weight with getting up with him, walking and playing and so on. They were rubbish at cleaning up wee from carpets (flapping a bit of kitchen roll around was not sufficient!) so I did most of that, but the rest we shared out.
And it's all worth it when, like today, he wobbled out from the vet's surgery after having a GA for a tooth out (£160!!) and just wanted me.

higgle · 27/02/2012 18:28

I've had two puppies in the past - a collie cross and aPBGV and I can't honestly say I found either of them very hard work. They both did a few dreadful things - like eating shoes, handbags etc. but if you like puppies and know about them then really you et what you expect.

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 18:57

thakn you all so much for this fantastic insight into puppy care! It is proving invaluable to me and is giving me such a balanced view from good to bad from copers to strugglers Grin. I think I will be somewhere inbetween but tending towards 'struggler'! How funny clam that now that it is all over with the worst of it you are able to refer back to the early days and how traumatised you were! It really does sound like early babyhood Grin. I suppose it is like that inasmuch as dogs seem to have personalities just like infants and we need to learn what makes them tick etc. I will definitely be starting a thread on here if I get my puppy (I'm on a waiting list so fingers crossed). I still have a while to go as the puppies are due in March and then it will be 8 weeks later

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AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 19:00

slubber - great post - thank you. I also have two children at school all day so that is going to be great I would imagine, as I can devote time to dog without the chaos of over excited offspring. What's a clicker? I'll ahve to google that one!

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Slubberdegullion · 27/02/2012 19:09

ooooooooh a clicker is an awesome and genius thing.

It's a little rectangle or ovoid of plastic with a metal tongue in it and when you depress the tongue it goes

Click!

Lots of threads here on clicker training and good books I can recommend if you want but basically the click marks for the dog the behaviour you want. You initially 'charge' the clicker so every time you click the dog gets a treat.

Click and treat.

Click and treat.

Then when you start training anything (pretty much) when the dog gives you the thing you want, a sit or a down or a paw or going into their crate or a high five or whatever you mark the exact moment they do the thing you want with a click, and then give them the treat.

It makes it much, much easier and quicker for the dog to understand what it is you are asking of them. "A ha! I sit down and yay! I get the click sound and then the treat". Makes training sessions loads of fun for both you and the dog and it really really works. I love my clicker and so does my dog Smile

Solo2 · 27/02/2012 19:16

As someone else suggested, read all my posts on The Doghouse, to get an idea of the first 10 months with a golden retriever! No one can predict the kind of pup they'll get.

Despite researching good breeders and waiting 48 yrs for my first dog, Rollo was the only one of the 3 bred litters (19 pups in all!) who has a v sensitive tummy. So, for months, I had to deal with nights of hosing down the garden at 3am, in torrential rain, no sleep, night after night, yet still looking after DCs and running a business in the daytime (still managing the diarrhoea!). I've never again felt the same about my kitchen since the entire floor (and it's a large one) got covered more than once with liquid diarrhoea over everything and up the walls too....

I must have spent roughly £6,000 + so far on Rollo, with vet bills, special foods, dog training, 'respite care' with the dog trainer, toys, equipment (this may be an underestimate!).

However, your circumstances are different to mine. I'm not a SAHM. I'm single. I work f/t - albeit from home - and I have twins. Having a dog would be much more manageable either if I had no job or if I had no DCs. Having a dog, plus f/t self-employment, plus no OH or other family around, is barely manageable.

Rollo, however, is brilliant in temperament - laid back and v friendly with people and dogs and young children. He was house trained (EXCEPT for when he got diarrhoea several times) from the 2nd day of his arrival home at 7 weeks old. I was only up in the nights (OTHER than when he was ill) for about he first 2 to 3 weeks and then he was fine to sleep in his crate.

I recently had a small window of time when it was 'working' - just - for my family. I rearranged all my work so i could give him a v good 2 off lead runs each day. Unfortunately, he's now one year old and has started to ignore all recall commands and hunt pheasants and rabbits over miles of fields.

So I'm now reduced to on-lead walks (which don't work off nearly as much energy) and hoop throwing games for as long as I can keep his attention.

My garden lawn is destroyed - from wee, poo and massive holes he's dug. My kitchen is ruined, as he's chewed chunks out of the bottom of the door, eaten off all the lower handles on the kitchen units. For a time, I couldn't leave anything at all on kitchen counters as he just snatched everything off.

He still scavenges for anything and so has to wear a muzzle always when we're out and about.

For me, it's been like having a very very challenging child in late life, who has taken away much of the attention I'd give to my DCs and who is like a cross between a baby, a toddler and a teenager. At the moment, i still feel as if it was a mistake to get a dog at this time in my life and should have waited till my DCs were leaving home. My main stress comes from having to ignore my DCs needs in order to fulfil Rollo's needs and from losing any 'down' time at all for me, ever!

However, in a home with more than one adult (you need to be able to leave the DCs when they're ill because you still need to do the dog walks - complete nightmare for me with no one else here!) and where you do only the house work and child care but no other work - in or out of the home, I think I can see how workable it might be. My only recourse has been to pay massive amounts for dog care - but can't keep on doing this.

He's lovely - but if I had my time again, I'd not be taking on a pup at this stage of my family's life.

Sposh · 27/02/2012 19:19

Very lazy of me I know but I haven't read the thread.

Just wanted to mention the phrase 'Toddler with a chainsaw' in case no-one had already.

ChickensHaveNoLips · 27/02/2012 19:26

It is like having a baby. I remember bringign DS1 home from the hospital, and all the well wishers had gone and the reality suddenly hit me: this is it, for the rest of my life. I'm a parent. I may have had a bit of a panic attack. It was the same with Jasper. But instead of thinking 'the rest of my life' I was thinking 'the rest of your life'. There was definitely panicking. And the sudden realisation that this 'baby' wouldn't grow up, go to school, take itself down to the shops or eventually leave home. It is a huge adjustment. But, you get over that hump and you realise that allt he reasons you wanted a dog are still there. The companionship, the fun, the cuddles, the fresh air (even when the weather is shocking, you feel all alive and virtuous), the sheer joy of seeing your dog run around a field having the time of its life with a stick. Those things are brilliant.

ByTheWay1 · 27/02/2012 20:23

It is worse than having a baby - at least when you change a nappy, the baby doesn't try to eat the poop!!! and babies generally stay where you put them!

We are at 6 months now with our pup and everything is settling - only eats and poops twice a day now, and wees about 7 or 8 times (instead of about 20!) ALWAYS outside wooohooooo!! You don't know until you get a pup, just HOW pleased you are to have 2 days in a row with no "accidents" !

we crate trained from day 1 - he needed to get up at 4 for almost a month, then fine through the night 11 til 7.... we have a Westie with a sensitive tum, so have had to go with a bloody expensive prescription diet which we are weaning him off and onto cheapo chappie which his tum seems to love.

I have 2 kids at school and work only an hour and a bit a day as a dinner lady, and left him for that from day 1 - he has been fine with it. Though I will warn you -the school run gets to be a bit of a battle - "go wee FFS you stupid dog, I have to go get the kids" has been heard in our garden occasionally!! If you take the pup on the school run it will get mobbed by kids and a bit stressed!

PurpleFrog · 27/02/2012 20:25

AllergicToNutters - we don't have a photo of him ripping our remote to bits - all of our remotes are still intact. Smile Actually, we haven't had too many problems with inappropriate chewing, especially since the baby crocodile teeth fell out.

One of my biggest problems when he was younger was him not lasting through the night and having to get up around 5.00am/5.30am to take him out. Last winter our garden was covered in snow and ice for about 6 weeks solid, so juggling bouncy lab and torch when half asleep was not fun! He never soiled or wet his crate but I am not sure whether he just got into a bad habit of getting up at that time, or if he really couldn't last. Actually, I think the latter as the frequency of all of his wees and poos decreased about the same time as he started sleeping through until 6.45am. At one point I was heading off to bed at 9.30pm on a regular basis to try and catch up on sleep.

For about 11 months now, he has hardly ever woken me up before 6.45am, the normal school-day getting-up time. He had a dodgy tummy about a month ago which ended up with him getting antibiotics, but although he got me up early on 3 days, he immediately went back into his crate and settled down without any fuss after we had been out. (That was not the case when he was small. Grrr!)

Slubberdegullion · 27/02/2012 20:26

But it's so much better than having a baby in that you'll never have to do a shape sorter or read Where's Fucking Spot to them 200,000 times.

And they'll eat everything you give them, even if it's got bits in.

and no cracked nipples but let's not go there

AllergicToNutters · 27/02/2012 22:19

wow - I am getting quite a broad but clear picture here. Solo2 - crikey, what a terrible time you seem to have had. I am single too so I don't have anyone to bail me out but I don't have to work so that would make my life simpler I would imagine. Well done for not bailing!
Slubberdegllion - really lol at your post about shape sorters and Spot! I feel your pain Grin
I am gleaning from this that I MUST get a crate and a clicker and plenty of toys for dog.

I will also probably need wine, and lots of it for my evenings with pup and children combined.

I am so glad I posted on here. This really is invaluable. Thsi morning I felt very nervous and anxious and now i am realising that it can be REALLY TOUGH but it passes and is do-able.

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