Lovely whippet but feeling down

[whippetwoman]

My husband and I separated 3 years ago - I kept the dog because I loved him and my DC's loved him too (and we all still do). He is a lovely, gentle whippet, who gets on well with our two cats. My new partner is not keen on dogs, and although he is perfectly nice to the dog, he doesn't walk him or look after him at all (but does help with the cats/hamsters). He just doesn't like dogs.

My problem is that I find the dog actually makes me feel depressed and guilty a lot of the time. If I don't take him out asap in the morning he follows me round the house, staring at me, never leaving my side and I feel incredibly guilty - even though I have to get the kids up, dressed, breakfast etc. I do always take him out. Then back from work (part-time) and I have to take him again immediately because otherwise he follows me, stares at me, won't leave my side. If I get up, he gets up, if I go downstairs, he goes downstairs. If I go towards the oven, he does too. He'd come into the toilet with me if I let him (yet snoozes with the cats all day on the bed when I am not there).I am 22 weeks pregnant, exhausted and dashing about to school, kids activiies and trying to be a proper dog owner as well. He's a great dog, no problems at all, I am lucky to have him, but yet I dread coming home to deal with him, walk him etc because I am tired. I think it's the constant following and staring that depresses me - he is an ever-present shadow reminding me that he needs to go out etc.

Any advice? I think I need to suck it up and get on with it, but I am worried about how I will cope with a new baby in those first few days after giving birth. No family nearby and even when they stay, they, like my partner, refuse to take the dog out as they won't pick up after him.

The dog isn't necessarily desperate for you to take it out, it might just want a bit of love. Some of them do. Ours will sit around staring at us, but sit down for five mins with her on our knee, a bit of a pet and a cuddle, and she relaxes considerably.

I have a whippet. They don't need that much exercise. 20 mins twice a day is ample.

Mine follows me everywhere too. She doesn't like being alone and enjoys human company that is all. She spends her days following me with her excessively waggy tail going like the clappers and her evenings curled up on DH.

Part of the problem maybe that have gotten your dog used to a fixed routine, there is nothing wrong with this if you are routine-y type person, but there's also nothing wrong with doing walks at different times of day to suit you if you're not a routine person (like me), your dog will soon get used to the new set-up. My terrier, at one of the more oganised points of my life, would bring me his lead if I sat down for a coffee before walking him as he'd gotten used to being walked at a certain time. When this failed he'd bring me the whippet's lead, followed by the spare lead and then the Grey's lead. I'd be sat drinking my coffee with a lap full of leads, spare collars and tennis balls. He soon stopped once the routine went out of the window again and is happy now so long as he gets his two walks or his one run and one jaunt around the block.

Your dog is loved and walked twice a day. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Wrt walking in the first few weeks after the baby, if your new partner will not consider stepping up and walking the dog for you at least once a day I'd be reconsidering what kind of person he is to be honest. Failing that look into professional dog walkers, ask dog walkers you regularly chat to in the park or if you live near me I'll do it for you -and give DP a kick up the jacksie for you too--

Some great advice here. Your dog follows you because it loves you, and it doesn't mean it wants something else.

I think your partner is going to have to learn that since he cares about you and the baby, he is going to have to walk the dog a bit, at least temporarily until sometime after the birth. Once he's picked up after the dog a few times, he won't be bothered by it any more. I can understand a non-dog-lover not liking the idea, but he will soon find that the reality is not as bad as he imagines.

Our dog gets plenty of walks and stimulation but she still follows me around the house all day. She's like my shadow and just likes to know what I'm up to every waking moment. Your dog sounds like a wonderful companion and I bet you'll be glad of her company when the new baby comes, as that can be a very isolating time. Having a dog is also a great excuse to get out of the house for some fresh air, either with baby in a sling or on your own for 20 minutes while your partner stays with baby, so you can clear your head and maintain sanity during those first few crazy newborn weeks.

Don't forget that pregnancy hormones can skew your view of things a little. I remember feeling particularly maternal and overprotective of our dog before our first baby arrived. Or is there a chance you could be projecting guilt on to the dog because you're feeling a bit busy, stressed or anxious about the new arrival? Either way, you sound like a very responsible dog owner and I wouldn't worry about it at all. Just snuggle up with her when you can and have a little chat with your partner about needing his help.

X Good Luck

Snuggle up with him. Sorry

My DH isn't a dog person, but he will walk the hound if necessary and even pick up the poo. Get him some decent poo bags or a scooper, and hand him the lead. It's really no big deal to walk a dog around the block sometimes.

I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has given me some advice here. It has been incredibly useful actually and also very reassuring to know that his following me everywhere behaviour is something lots of other dogs do too! I did laugh about D0oinMeCleanin saying about her terrier bringing her the lead, and then the other leads. I think the dog is in a routine and so expects walks at certain times of the day and you're right, it doesn't matter if I walk him a bit later than normal, or a bit earlier. And I could cut down on the long walks too. I forget that whippets are dead lazy and do only need about 20 minutes at a time.

I agree that pregnancy hormones might well be making me over-react to the situation, I think I am just more sensitive and tired than usual, which does sometimes make dog-walking and dog related activities more onerous than normal. However, I think I will insist that my partner steps up with the dog walking when I have the baby - otherwise it's not much of a partner-ship. I will also look at getting a dog walker to come in at certain times - great idea.

Thanks so much for putting this into persepctive for me. I do love my whippet!