Could I ask your advice please?

[Hollyfoot]

As mentioned elsewhere, we lost our beautiful Lab girl last week. Have to say it has knocked me sideways - our house is just so empty without her. Although we care for a very elderly Springer who we inherited when DH's sister died, he is a very self contained boy who prefers to keep to himself, so there isnt much interaction other than us stroking him.

I had thought that when we lost our girl (she was diagnosed with cancer last April so we knew the day would come) I could never face having another dog. Daft I know, but she was my friend - working from home, she was always with me; although she adored everyone to be honest! The surprising thing though is that I feel very strongly that I want another dog, and quickly. DH would like this very much. Where we live is perfect for dogs too.

I guess my questions are:

Is it too soon to have another in the next few weeks and when is the 'right' time anyway?

Am I just trying to get her back really?

If we get another dog, can I love it as much as her? I know it will be a different dog, and a different love, but can you love another dog after you have lost one?

We will have another rescue Lab if/when we do get one. Should we choose one that is a different colour so as not to compare?

Sorry for so many questions, but we are missing the physical presence of a loving dog sooooooooo much.

There is no yes or no to answer these questions with. Some people need to go out and get another dog straight away and some need to grieve for a while first. There is never a 'right' time.

Any new dog will be a completely different character to your old one and you should be ready for that, but also this somethimes makes it easier?

If you're unsure, maybe you could start by taking rescue dogs out for a walk at the weekends and see how you feel. Many rescues also let you foster a dog with a view to possibly adopting.

I felt just like that, when my 14 year old lab x died 9 years ago this March. I really, really missed having a dog - and I missed him too, and I wasn't sure which was which.

In my case, there was an easy answer as I fell pg with dd1 3 weeks after Dingo died - and as an older, first time Mum everyone (rightly!) told me my baby would be enough to keep me busy for a while.

All I can say is that the 'will I love it as much' bit was still there 9 years later when we got Mouse (another lab x rescue pup), and that I have been through some 'no I don't' moments, but as the bond grows and Mouse is settling in as himself and not as a second Dingo - yes, I think I will love him at least as much. It took time the first time, it will take time again.

And the same would be true whether I'd got him 9 years ago, or now.

A difficult decision - perhaps knowing there are no right or wrongs will help a little? Only pros and cons either way, like so many things! Good luck deciding

We have always gotten another dog within a week or two of loosing a much loved family dog. The house just feels wrong without a dog in it.

There is no right or wrong time. You need to do what feels right to you, however I would be careful on what aged dog you look at a lively pup might be too much for your elderly Springer.

I adore all of my much missed dogs but still love my current ones. They are all different. I will never, ever meet another dog as wonderful as my childhood Doberman, I grew up with her, she was my first best friend and unlike any other dog I have ever known. She was as mad as box of frogs in a good way, but the Akita we had after that was my dog. I was old enough when we got him to contribute to his training, he saved my life once when some eejit let their trained attack dog out onto a public field without checking there was no-one on the field . He was a stubborn, annoying old fool but he was my stubborn annoying old fool

I'll never meet another dog as cat like and amusing as Whippy, or as lazy and gentle as my foster grey or as entertaining and lovably difficult as my terrier.

All dogs have their own personalities and that is reason why we love them so. You'll never replace your old lab, but you will find a new reason to love a new dog, if that is what you want.

If you're not sure you are ready you could always give fostering a go.

Hi i lost my beautiful girl lucy 3 years ago and it is like yesterday, she was my best friend and companion she looked after the children when they were growing up. she was more than a dog to me she was my mate. when lucy was ill she kept looking at me to let her go and we did but the pain you feel is enourmous, we did not know when to have another dog because her friend molly was very sad, lucy was a lurchur but the dog i rescued is a cavalier king charles boy who had been in breeding all his life, when he was given to the dogs home we called down and when i looked into his eyes i knew he was the one, I have never had a little dog except for little cross terrier molly but this little man had never been in a house , never had a collar on , and had never been for a walk. the first night at home he sat looking at the tv wildlife programme . when you lose your friend there is no time scale but just look at the rescues and let the dog pick you and you will find your next little friend. you never forget your precious one but the new one does help.
Best Wishes Gaynor

If you want to love another dog, then now is the right time to get one.

There's no defined 'right time'; and nor is there any seemly period of mourning to be adhered to. A new dog won't remove your precious memories and although there will never be a replacement for your last dog, there's always room in a heart to love another dog.

There are some lovely, lovely labs who need rescuing. I was looking this evening; a tiny yellow boy puppy who looks to be about 5 weeks in his photo, a confused 7 year old black boy who's family couldn't look after him any more and the story of Gorgeous George which has made me weep. I'm not trying to tempt - if we could fit in more, I'd have them all myself!