I know you guys get this question all the time, but can you help me?

[GlaikitFizzog]

We had our friends staying at the weekend with their DDs and their dog, a beautiful minature schnauser(sp). Which has got me thinking again about getting a dog.

Our situation is: Me, DH and DS 9mo, DH works FT I'm goign back to work PT shortly, but would never be away from home more that 5 hours at a time only 3 days a week. We have a big garden, big enough for a kennel and run if we want one. We live semi rural, so plenty of walking options. DH has had dogs all his life(farm dogs and pets, mostly collie xs and labs), I haven't but grew up with my aunt and uncles dogs (rotweilers and dobermans) and would love DS to have the same. Ideally, we would want a mid sized dog, like the size of the minature schnauser we had visiting. Nothing tyoo small as DH is a big rugby player sized man so walking a tiny dog would look a bit comical, and I am tiny wee so I wouldn't want anything too big and strong.

I know we should consider rescues, but how do you know it's a decent rescue? I am wary of rescue dogs after a friend got a staffy x and he had all sorts of issues she had to work through. What would you recommend we do?

no decent rescue would let you have a dog if it is going to be left for 5 hrs a day. They also wouldnt want a dog living outside in a 'kennel' environment, and your baby is so young. I have to say there arent many, if any that would.

Rescues do insist that dogs live inside with their families. We made it clear when we adopted our Staffie that he would need to be left in the morning some days. Because he was an older dog and was used to being alone they were content with that, and it has not been a problem at all (+ it was starting to look as if no one would ever want him and apart from being out some mornings we were offering an excellent home for him)

We would have hte dog living in with us, I just mentioned our outside space as I thought that would be a positive, I didn't realise that rescues would frown upon an outdoor run. 5 hours would be the absolute max I or DH would be out the house going by our working hours. Our neighbour is a dog walker, so we can use her. I am obviously being unrealisitic about leaving a dog alone. What is acceptable? A dog would have to be left at some point.

I did think DS being so young may be an issue. From a rescue point of view, what age would be better? I realise it depends of the child and the dog.

I genuinely beleive that we could offer a dog a lovely home and family. I guess we have a lot to think about before doing anything.

We have a Dogs Trust centre near by. Are they reputable?

five hours isn't too bad if you have a dog walker coming in to exercise them halfway through. The maximum you should really leave a dog alone is about four hours tops - I always walk mine first, then settle them down with a Kong and the television and they snooze quite happily till I come back. Much would depend on the individual dog, and what level of separation anxiety it had, following rehoming - but generally dogs should learn to chill out and be left every so often.

I think it's great that you're considering a rescue dog! A mature dog who's used to children and doesn't need a lot of training would be much easier to fit into your routine than a new puppy. Having such a small baby might be a problem - understandable, given the risks involved with little children - but it's always worth talking to rescue organisers, and seeing what they say. Smaller independent rescues might be more flexible but you should be very wary of any rescue that doesn't home check or grill you very very thoroughly about how you'd be prepared to safeguard the dog as well as the baby.

One of the experienced rescuers like Scuttlebutter will probably pop up and offer much better specific advice. Have you considered a retired greyhound?

Minimu recently asked someone else considering a dog a very good question - Why are you getting a dog? And also a supplementary question - what do you intend to do with the dog?

Your (and your family) lifestyle have such a huge impact. Have a think about these because they will drive what sort of dog will fit best with your family. Are you likely to be doing lots of outdoor activities with dog as a family? Things like CaniX, geocaching, orienteering, biking? Would you want to be involved with things like obedience and agility? Is your lifestyle madly social, with masses of travelling, or lots of parties, childrens sleepovers etc.? Are you planning to have more children? It's not rude asking this since many rescues find that the crunch time for a lot of dog owners is when a second baby comes along and they already have a toddler - coping with two LOs and a dog often becomes too much and the dog goes. This is one of the reasons why rescues often won't home to families with DC under 5.

No rescue would rehome to you if you said dog was going to be in an outdoor kennel or run (with the possible exception of very specialist rescues dealing with some northern breeds, and gundogs, where a dog was going to an experienced home, with existing kennels, or a farm environment) - generally rescues are rehoming dogs who are going to be family pets and as such would be expected to live in the house with you.

Dogs Trust are highly reputable - they will ask you to think very carefully about your lifestyle and probably attend a short training course (half a day) on dog ownership. They (and all good rescues) will encourage you to take dog to obedience classes such as KC bronze award - would thoroughly endorse this. A nicely mannered dog is a pleasure to live with - that's one with reasonable recall, walks nicely on lead, will sit, stay and get in and out of car reasonably. As you are in a rural environment, bad dog manners can (rightly so) get your dog shot.

What you could also consider is finding out more about dog ownership. Pop along to some doggy events such as fun charity shows, Cani X events etc - many local rescues often hold things like regular dog walks, social events etc where you can go along and in a no pressure environment meet some of the dogs and ask lots of questions. Taking your time in this way also shows the rescue that you are a responsible committed dog owner who is trying to prepare thoroughly. Another thing to consider is becoming a foster home for a charity - this is lovely since food and vets bills are paid by the charity and you have the fun bits of giving the dog a nice home. This is an excellent way of seeing if dog ownership works for you as a family in your circumstances.

Finally, it's really important that all the adults are fully signed up to having a dog, and also that you've thought very hard and carefully about the financial side of dog ownership. Even with a healthy dog, insurance is vital, and there are a whole host of other costs to think about like regular worming, vaccinations, kennel fees if you go away, food etc.

Good luck!

Wildfig a lady I see when I'm out with DS in the pushchair has a greyhound(at least it looks like a greyhound, maybe a whippet) and she is lovely and friendly, but lazy!! Will point blank refuse to go any further if she doesn't want to!! Can I assume you have a greyhound? :o

Xposts Scuttlebutter. I'm just about to make dinner. I will sit down and go through your post and try to answer your questions. Thank you for taking time to help me. I'll be back :o

Dogs Trust are excellent in my opinion, they're very thorough in terms of home checks and matching the right dog to the right home, i.e. they wouldn't give a dog with 'issues' to an inexperienced home with a small child. They'd be a good place to start, you could look around and meet some dogs and get an idea of what would suit you. They sometimes have puppies as well, if that's what you want.

I think your DS's age might be an issue for many rescues though. This is not because rescue dogs are unsafe with children, but as Scuttlebutter says, lots of parents with small children struggle to cope with a dog on top of everything else (especially if another baby comes along!), and often the dog ends up back in rescue.

As for 5 hours leaving time - well of course lots of dog owners do leave their dog this long or longer, it would probably be borderline in terms of what most rescues would consider acceptable though. Again it's because lots of dogs end up being returned because they've messed in the house or chewed furniture or annoyed the neighbours with howling/barking when left due to being bored or stressed. It would depend on the dog really, some might be OK with it.

Please don't be offended if the rescue people express concern about this sort of thing, they're not doing it just to be difficult, or to say you'd be a bad dog owner - they just want to be as sure as possible that the dog is going to have a stable, permanent home. I think good breeders would likely have similar criteria anyway, in fact for a puppy the leaving times would be even more of an issue.

Also consider that you will have to make plans that accommodate the dog for the next 11-16 years. So as your life changes you will always have restrictions on what you can do as you have to consider the dogs needs - if you are up for this then great.

As someone with 2 children under 5 and two dogs - one older dog and a 8mo collie, I would be cautious. I have the time to exercise the dogs and do it every day. But they do take up quite a bit of brain space IYKWIM.

eg on a bad day with the baby, he's grizzly, you have both been up all night teething or with a fever. Hound still needs a good walk. Baby sleeps through - dog wakes you up anyway having a bark at the invisible man.

They are a huge commitment, another thing you have to think about when you are juggling child/work/home.

Taking a dog out for a run is lovely. It was much less lovely when it was wet and icy and I had to take whiny preschoolers with me. They get muddy (children and dog - I'm a slattern so I don't care) and when the children aren't having accidents on the floor, the dog is. An emergency trip to the vet that clashes with naptime/nursery pickup is hellish.

I love my pup, he is gorgeous and well behaved, although still a bit bouncy. He is a handsome devil and so so good with the children. But he is exhausting too.

I think every family needs a pet, when I was growning up we had rabbits, guinea pigs, budgies. DH had dogs. Pets teach children to be kind and gentle, can give them a sense of responsibility. Also I would hope any dog we got would become DSs best friend.

You asked if we were planning anymore children. At this point in time it's a firm no for at least until DS is at school. I had a terrible pregnancy after we had issues conceiving so I am not in any hurry to go back down that road.

Our social life is quiet, we moved away from our home town 3 years ago with DHs work so out circle of friends here is mainly work colleagues and the girls I've met through ante natal. We do go back home every couple of months for a weekend, but a dog would just come with us as we stay with my parents. We are outdoorsy as such, in we like to go for walks, I'm not a cyclist I have terrible balance! We are very lucky where we are (Central Scotland) we have lots of the "great outdoors" on our door step! A quick google suggests that CaniX would not be my past time of choice, but Geocaching and orienteering would be! I did orienteering when I was in my teens. DH always goes on about one of his dogs when he was younger being daft about a tennis ball and how the fly ball(?) agility thing would have been perfect for him.

We holiday in the UK anyway, and with DS still being little I can't see us jetting off abroad for sometime. We have spoken about getting a caravan in the summer.

I think I'll start by contacting the dogs trust, and taking things from there. I'd be happy to volunteer there as a start, if I can.

Thank you all again, you have given me plenty to think about.