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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Dog jealous of DS

35 replies

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 06/12/2011 14:37

I have two staffies, aged 4.3 and 3.6. The older one (male) seems to have developed jealousy for my 10mo DS. He growls if the baby comes near him and won't come near me if I am with the baby, but is all over me at other times. Same happens with DH. Or he will try and sit on the baby to be in front of me or DH when the baby is having his nappy changed. Don't know whether this is relevant but he has also started crapping on the carpet (previously fully toiled trained).

A trip to the vet suggests no underlying health issues. He has always been a dominant and energetic dog, but usually very friendly.

It is strange as he is the one I used to trust implicitly with the baby (obviously would not leave them alone together) - my bitch is a bit neurotic and nervy, but she tolerates the baby and even seems to like him.

Admittedly now that the baby is mobile I am having to babygate the dogs on the other side of the living room, eg, if I am in the kitchen making lunch and the baby is in the living room (adjoined) and they stay there while the baby eats, but if I or DH are in the living room with DS they are allowed to roam as they please with us, and we try to pay them attention (although of course they get less than they did pre-DC). They are walked regularly and we make sure to give them lots of cuddles and attention on the sofa after DS is in bed. They aren't allowed in the bedrooms but this was implemented while I was pg. We do try to keep up their training which is food reward based.

Any thoughts? The vet seemed adamant that I should either have the dog PTS or attempt to rehome him (but said that it would be difficult, as I am well aware of the situations with staffies in rescue). The dog is also DA. the bitch is not. What are my options here?

OP posts:
LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 07/12/2011 16:02

MrsZoidberg, thanks so much for the suggestion of a behaviourist. Bath is not far from us, so I will give her a ring when I have talked things through with DH. It really means a lot to have a recommendation as friends have been stung by chancers in the past with this sort of thing (not locally - we moved to a different part of the country, but this is why I know no one who can suggest!).

WTWTW, sorry to hear about your son being bitten. Is he ok now (relatively)? How awful - am assuming it wasn't your dog who bit him. Sending well wishes his way.

Minimuu thanks for that, I may well get in touch at some stage.

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I am glad people do understand that I am considering my child's welfare above all, which is exactly why I am prepared not to eat for the sake of being able to afford a good behaviourist (if necessary - fingers crossed on the insurance). If this can be sorted then good - we all win. If not then as I said, I will consider rehoming. My DS actually adores both dogs, and I hope he will be able to grow up with them as I envisioned. For now they haven't got much to do with each other but I hope that can change in the future.

OP posts:
happygardening · 07/12/2011 16:17

"Maybe as you have seen many cases of aggression in dogs your advice is not correct whereas I see cases which do not turn into aggression - maybe my training, experience is correct."
I am not a dog trainer and wouldn't dream of giving advise as to how to help this dog. But I am a professional who works on the front line with adults and children and on a regular basis see cases where dogs have not only turned on their owners and given them a nasty bite but the owners children and grand children so in this case my experience is as correct and valid as yours.
I reiterate protecting a child particulary a small child like this is a million times more important than the dogs welfare.

JanetPlanet · 07/12/2011 16:23

This baffles me! Aggressive sharing a house with a 10 month old???? Are you for real?

ditavonteesed · 07/12/2011 16:24

how is the op not protecting her child, she is keeping the child and dog seperate and seeking proffesional help.

minimuu · 07/12/2011 16:37

The dog has shown no signs of aggression - it has growled. It is like comparing a child that has got cross with a friend and saying they will turn into a mad violent adult.

If the dog had shown signs of aggression my response would be very different.

Aggressive dogs do not growl they attack instantly without warning.

The OP has watched her dog and seen that it's behaviour shows it is unhappy and uncertain. She has taken the sensible precaution of separating dog from her child and is taking professional advice.

I agree that child welfare is important and noone has disagreed with that at all. What I am disagreeing with is your opinion that the dog should automatically be rehomed before a professional has assessed it, especially as you say you have no knowledge of dog training and behaviour. I am not putting the dog before the child, I am looking at the behaviour and suggesting an approach that will benefit the family as a whole safely.

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 07/12/2011 16:58

Janet, the dog is not aggressive. He is dog aggressive which is entirely different. If you knew anything about dogs you would understand that - go and do some reading up on the subject before piping up, your comment wasn't helpful.

To the next person who wants to suggest I am not protecting my child by having my dog in the house, kindly fuck off, it's getting boring and I don't need an assessment on my parenting, cheers.

OP posts:
MrsZoidberg · 07/12/2011 17:05

I know its not the same but two of my dogs fight. It has got to the stage where if they ever get into the same space one will kill the other. She nearly succeeded the last time they were together. We manage the situation with dog gates and have done so for over a year. Each dog gets attention and they have all learnt to accept the restrictions on their movments. It is not ideal, and it requires discipline but we manage it.

If we can live like this all of the time, then there is absolutely no reason why the OP can't manage her situation for the safety of her child.

I know what you're saying HG about the number of times you were told that a door is never left open, they can never get to the pond etc, and I believe that you see the results of when this does happen, but it doesn't mean this will happen to everybody, if it did I would never let my child cross a road or go in a car, just in case.

We have managed for over a year to not let our dogs get together. This also means knowing which dog is outside (and with 2.5 acres it's not always obvious), which dog is in the kitchen, the lounge etc. If we can do it with 2 dogs who push to get through the gates to get to each other, I'm positive the OP can manage it with dogs and children.

Inthepotty · 07/12/2011 19:11

OP I think you are being fab fab fab about this. Big salute!

I'm not going to add any more wrt to behaviourists etc as I see everyone else has been there!

Bloody hell HG where do you work?! I was nurse for 11 years pre DCs, with a good spell in A and E. I can honestly say I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of dog bites I saw! Far more common of course is the Saturday am football injuries!

JanetPlanet · 08/12/2011 06:06

Wow! Aggressive owner and a 'dog aggressive' dog.

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 08/12/2011 10:40

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