The Doghouse has somewhat put me off getting a pup!!

[petitdonkey]

So I have tentatively put my name down for a puppy, due in early December so would come to me in Feb. I have been debating having a dog for years but very seriously since last spring. DH is really not keen but has told me to go ahead if I really want one.

I have just spent the last couple of hours browsing The Doghouse here and there are obviously so many frustrations and so many rewards. A lot of people talk about the mess, hair, mud etc.....

I realise that I'm waffling a bit and I'm not sure what response I really want, I guess I'm just worried that I'm not ready but are you ever really ready???

Nah Its the same with kids. You never feel prepared but once you have them, you wonder what all the fuss was about!!

Unless you want a showhome, the mud and hair becomes ...meh

They are not puppies forever. The sound of a happy tail thwacking on the carpet, so glad to see you when you get home, is well worth all the mess and devastation a puppy brings. The flatulence, well, that's just another matter ....

The fur, the mud and the mess is nothing compared to the love you get from a puppy. Believe me I know. My golden retriever could find a muddy puddle in a desert!!

Actually, I would say that if you aren't sure then don't. I love mine to bits but I do wonder why I thought it was such a good idea.

What kind of pup? I love puppies shamelessly, and dogs are great. Lots and lots of pros to having a dog

• gets you out walking every day, whatever the weather, and the kids too. Often therapeutic (no matter how little you actually want to go at the start) and a great together-time with the kids (if not at school)
• you meet lots of fellow doggy-people and get to know them. I've made some great friends out walking.
• Security- burglars fear dogs far more than burglar alarms. Our dogs are/ were soft as anything, but had a loud bark! A couple of times our dogs barked in the night, I got up and put the lights on, nothing, then discovered next door's car had been broken into in the morning
• Company. Nothing as therapeutic as a soft head and silky ears

Of course there are downsides (as you mention) and they take a lot of commitment and work. And you have to factor in kennel costs to your holiday plans if you ever want to go abroad again (ouch- we could have taken another person on holiday for the price of kennelling our 2 dogs in a good kennel for 2wks!) Then there are vets bills, food costs, and the heartbreak if they get sick/ when they get old and their time runs out...

To me the pros outweigh the cons. I will always have a dog/ dogs. They become part of your lifestyle and can be very rewarding.

Although owning a dog turned out to be more work than I expected, it is also far far more rewarding than I expected, and that makes it all worthwhile. I love that I spend more time outdoors because of taking him for walks, that I've made friends with people because of the dog, and that I'm far more confident around dogs in general now [used to be terrified of them]. Most of all I love the way he sits and looks at me and DH with the soppiest look on his face, especially in the evenings when he's had a nice long walk and he just looks so happy.

I have to say, if you're having doubts do not do it.

I drove the dog campaign here and some days regret it bitterly if I'm completely honest. Buy Gwen Bailey Perfect Puppy, I found it very realistic.

I won't lie to you, I've had days when I've wondered 'What have I done?!'. We've had Jasper eight weeks now, and he's had four trips to the vet. He was attacked in the first week that we had him, and he's had health issues which meant he stank like a rotting arsehole. Sometimes he gets overexcited and chomps down the DC's limbs like a cartoon dog eating corn on the cob. He pees. A lot. He will steal just about anything that isn't nailed down. He sits by the door and howls if I go for a pee. He jumped on the vicar's head and chewed her hair. He gets in to the dishwasher, eats things he shouldn't and then makes us all pay for it all evening by letting of noxious emissions. We can't decide to go out for the day on a whim, because he can't be left for more than a couple of hours.

But.

After eight weeks he can sit, lay down, give his paw and roll over. He will do just about anything for a tennis ball. He doesn't just wag his tail when he's pleased to see you, his whole back end sweeps across the floor. He sometimes tries to eat his own ears. He sits at the kerb now without prompting. He is learning not to bark at the chickens (pepperami is my friend). Everywhere we go, people stop and coo over him. The DC adore him. He curls up on my lap in the evening in a sneaky way thinking that DH can't see him. He tolerates all of the various treatments and medications he has to have without a grumble. He wants to please us.

There are definitely negatives, just as there are with having children, but the positives are just so....brilliant.

I would say that if you're having second thoughts then don't do it, especially if it's really only you that wants the dog and your dh is just agreeing to make you happy.

Puppies are bloody hard work. They take time and commitment, and if you're not sure and you don't really have the commitment from your dh then you're going to be doing it on your own, and resent doing so.

For me, the red flag is that your DH is ambivalent. If you are going to take on a dog (of any age) and especially a puppy, then all the adults in the home should be fully signed up. His lifestyle is going to be severely affected - there is the cost for a start, plus the tie, the commitment to daily walking, mess in the house etc. It's really imposssible for him NOT to be affected, unless your lives are so separated to an unrealistic degree or you are rich enough to have fleets of staff to take care of things for you. His shoes are going to be chewed, his TV remote will get nibbled, his favourite rugs will get pissed on. He will understandably be fed up, since he didn't want this noisy, smelly dirty creature with teeth like needles. No more going away for a spontaneous weekend. No more long days out (unless the dog comes too). What happens if you are taken ill? To be honest it also worries me slightly that the breeder hasn't picked up on this. A reputable breeder would have questioned you very closely about your home circumstances.

You haven't said anything about the breed of puppy, why you have chosen that particular one, and what your family/lifestyle commitments are. All of these are important factors. Also, it's important to distinguish the factors attached to owning a puppy with those attached to owning an adult dog. As a prospective owner, you of course have the choice, and you haven't said why you particularly want a pup rather than an adult dog. Adult dogs would probably fit more easily into a home where one of the adults is ambivalent - things like house training, chewing, basic training will already have been tackled. Are there particular things that you will want to do with your dog? Showing? Working? These might lead you to the particular requirement of a puppy but there will then be the time commitments of the training and preparation.

There are many, many ways you could incorporate a dog into your life without taking on dog ownership. You could consider walking for the Cinnamon Trust, or your local rescue kennels. You could be a puppy socialiser for Guide Dogs/Hearing Dogs. You could foster a dog for a rescue (either a specific breed or all breed) - this is immensely rewarding and will give you many aspects of dog ownership without the long term ties. A combination or selection from these could prove to be an ideal preparation and would also allow your DH to sample the joys of dogs in the house. It might be enough to fully convert him, or it might send him screaming for the hills.

I love dogs, am besotted by them, so don't want to sound negative - but this is really something you BOTH need to be signed up to.

I take it you've read some of the various puppy threads on here. One began in June, filled up with moans anecdotes and then a second one started. And a new one has recently begun with a fresh supply of newbies.

I would say though, that I was the reluctant one in our crew, and love him though I do (and he's now 7.5 months and fairly civilised now) I wouldn't have coped had all the family not pitched in and done their share. It's a lot to do on your own - see solo2's posts! Although she has had a huge amount of bad luck with her pup's ill health.

So much excellent advice here- I can't thank you enough.

The pup will be a miniature labradoodle- my next door neighbour is a breeder (and I very much believe she is super responsible and I know she is dotty about her dogs.) I had decided on a bichon frise for the low-shedding, not too big aspect but after seeing a few I think they are too small for us. The minature labradoodle seems perfect. The neighbour takes all of her pups back for doggy boarding and even told me that after six weeks there's a good chance I'd be tearing my hair out wondering what I'd done so she would have him for two nights 'respite'!!

We live in the country and I really would like a dog to get me out walking and to become part of the family. On a practical level, we have 15 acres, a big house ad all hard floors downstairs! I think that, as a few people have pointed out, it's DH that concerns me the most. If he was a doggy person, I would have one by now (in the same way I'd have a fourth child if he liked children ) but I really can't stress to him enough that it will affect him even if I promise to take on the lions share. I don't want to feel like I'm apologising for the dog the whole time. (I'm sure I don't need to say that he would never be unkind to a dog, just 'doesn't want anything to do with it').

I really do want a dog- should I give up on that because of DH or will doggy chip his way into DH's heart???

Such a big decision- all of your advice is so welcome.

Can you borrow a dog from your neighbour for a few days?

To answer some of scuttlebutter's pertinent questions (some brilliant advice from you, thanks) I did consider an older dog and had a visit from a friend's dog that she was rehoming due to divorce and I felt that I wanted a dog that I had trained from the outset rather than one with habits from another family. The breeder did talk to both DH and I but as she knows us so well, I don't think that she probed as much as she would have done normally- DH was doing a lot of joking about not wanting one but in the same way he was 'joking' about not wanting kiddies (he really is lovely though I realise I'm not making him sound so!)
I am a SAHM - two of my children are in school and one is in nursery three days a week. I have a very reliable cleaning lady who loves dogs and is happy to walk the dog if there is ever a day when I will be out all day (maybe once a month). As I mentioned, we have a lot of land and I know friends have said that the dog could be quite happy just running about all day but I very much want a lead trained dog that is fully socialised- is it realistic to think that a one hour daily walk will be enough if he is then able to run around the garden for the rest of the day if he wants to?

Can I ask why you want a dog?

It is quite interesting to hear peoples answers to a basic question. Some can't say, some give quite reasonable answers and others look blank

I have dogs as I love being outside in all weathers. I love training dogs and spending time doing doggy activities, agility, obedience, tracking, treiball etc.

I love wearing wellies and scruffy clothes

Find out your real reason for wanting a dog and see if it is a realistic need that a dog can fufull. (or would a cat be more appropriate if you just want cuddles)

Also bear in mind that your dog may have other ideas. I have several dogs that do not do agility for example even though I would love to do it with them for several reasons it is not the right thing for them. In the same way can I get one of my DC's to train as a vet - no (but not given up on that one - It would save me a fortune!)

Obvioulsy I don't know your OH but if you do all the donkey work and he gets the easy bit I am sure most dogs will win over an OH.

If your breeder is next door spend time with her dogs and see what you feel then.

A dog is hard work but has huge rewards. I would agree with those who say if you are not sure don't do it. If you do go ahead please check what health tests have been done, there are certain things Labradoodles should be tested for before breeding as a minimum, both dogs should have a hip score (even if one is a Mini Poodle), BMS for Doodles is 13, can't remember Mini Poodles off the top of my head but it' not much more, maybe 14, again not sure of the Lab score but they can be checked with the BVA online (posting from my phone) you are also looking for an elbow score from any Labradoodle
or Lab, 0 or 1 at the most, a Mini Poodle won't be elbow scored. Each dog should have a yearly Clear BVA eye test. In addition to this I personally would like a least one of the dogs to have had the DNA test for PRA and to be Clear.

I personally wouldn't buy a Doodle pup whose parents didn't have these tests. Then I'd be on alert as to how they are likely to be raised, socialised, fed on quality food, wormed regularly, vet checked before coming home and does she offer you free insurance for the first few weeks.

Beware of just falling in love with cute puppies. Whatever breed you are looking at find out what health tests the parents should have had done and ask to see the paperwork, without the health tests you may be buying a vet bill on legs.

Afraid not. Dogs don't tend to exercise themselves and a mooch around the garden - no matter how many acres it has is not going to cut the mustard.

Afraid I don't know much about the particular cross you mention, but I guess if it has labrador in it, it's likely to need about 2 hours a day by the time it reaches adulthood.

We also have many acres of space for the dogs to roam around in, but unless they are actually taken for a proper walk, they tend to mooch a little bit and then come home and look at us.

Puppies are a mammoth amount of work - and so is training them. They affect every single aspect of your life one way or another. Honestly, a puppy is a commitment to take on board only if the entire household really want the same thing.

If your DH is serious with his joking, talk to him before you commit.

I love my dogs - I also love having them when they're pups, but I am very realistic about much time, commitment, love, patience and attention they'll need over their first year.

Oh dear. I'm actually finding your answers less reassuring, rather than more. A couple of points - you've mentioned Labradoodles because of the low shedding - are allergies an issue for you or members of your family? If so, please be aware that NOT all labradoodles are guaranteed to be non allergenic - you really need to check the individual dog - it depends very much on the crosses. The last thing you want is to bring a puppy home and then need to rehome it because of children's allergies/asthma etc. And please, please, please read up and check up on the health testing your dog should have and its parents. Unless the breeder can bore you rigid talking about genetics and health testing, you should walk away. Both labs and poodles can be prone to some serious inherited issues and it's really important to go with a breeder who understands this and is doing as much as possible to breed good quality dogs that won't saddle you with years of heartache and vets bills.

Yes, your domestic situation sounds idyllic, and there's no question that your accommodation and lifestyle could accommodate a dog BUT (and it's an enormous BUT) I am very, very concerned about your husband's views. No matter how much he wishes to ignore this animal, it simply won't be possible to. If you are going to be a responsible pet owner, then this dog is going to take several hours of your time each day even as an adult. If you do get a puppy, then ALL the family is going to be affected for the important first year - so many people here have and will tell you about the commitment a little puppy takes. It's great that you've got fifteen acres but doggy won't simply go and gambol around on them by himself - he will need company, training, and structured exercise/stimulation every single day, no matter what the weather.

Minimuu has asked a brilliant question - why DO you want a dog? Are you already someone who spends hours out of doors? Do you want involvement with other dog owners? Shooting? Field trials? Geocaching? Cani X? Agility? (you could probably put up your own agility course). I'm still not getting a mental picture of you and this dog doing things together in the future. Oh dear, I realise I must be sounding very negative and I don't want to - I'm just trying to make sure you have a realistic picture of what's involved, not just for you but for the whole family.

You're not being negative at all Scuttlebutter just realistic and obviously a concerned dog lover. I did draft a response to Minimuu but lost it - I partly feel that, as I grew up with dogs, a family is made complete by one IYSWIM. I also want a good reason to go out in the wind and cold as I am currently a bit of a fair-weather walker but really do enjoy it when I go out on a rotten day. The only reason that I am not already a dog owner is because of DH and I fear that I will remain so because of it but I don't want to end up resenting him over it. I really do think that I understand the commitment (we had Springers growing up in a council house and boy do they need some walking!!) but I also know that how ever much I love it, there will be days when I'm tired and frustrated and I can't moan to DH without hearing the unsaid 'told you so.'

I hesitated to use the name 'Labradoodle' as I know that people have strong opinions about them - I think that I would normally just call it a Lab cross. No, we don't have any allergies and, yes, I am fully aware that it might shed a lot. I mainly came to the breed because of my neighbour if I'm honest - it's good to have her on hand for questions etc and I have obviously met the mother and father of the pups and three pups on holiday that she had bred. Maybe I could ask if one of the returning pups could visit here? It wouldn't be the same having one of her dogs as she only has the one poodle (male) and then her labs.

"he will need company, training, and structured exercise/stimulation every single day." - i believe that I can provide all of those things but perhaps had underestimated the amount of structured exercise needed. I had not betted on daisy's estimated 2 hours a day. I had planned for one hour long walk in the morning then a shorter walk in the afternoon (and lots of chasing rabbits in the garden in between).

MrsSpoon - I am going to print out your response and ask the breeder these questions. I really believe that she's a responsible breeder but it will be good to know her response to those points.

I sincerely do thank you all for your response - I think that you're maybe all forming a picture of me as a totally unsuitable dog owner but I really am just trying to explore all of the negatives before I make a 15year commitment!!

I love my mobile mop to death he is my salvation and my sanity. As a vet I had very high requirements for health testing - he is a cockapoo. One inaccuracy higher up I would point out if the parents have had the Optigen PRA DNA test done they don't need to be eye tested each year, the minimum for the blood is at least one parent should be a Homozygote non-affected.
Now to my main point my DH did not want a dog and told me to get him if I really wanted to. This has been hard I have gone to training every week for 20 months (we do Agility now) and there have been times when it would have been nice to share. I have picked up every poo for 20 months that's a lot of poo. If the dog does anything wrong it is my fault even if DH left the garage door unlocked so he can get to the bin. I am very lucky my wonderful boy can come to work with me and is shared by my work colleagues who also love him.
He allows me to be me, rather than disappearing in a flurry of work and childcare. He offers unconditional love and he has an amazing soft coat that actually absorbs tears. The last year has not been an easy one and without him I think I might have gone mad.

We got a pup a month ago, she fitted her projected profile and is a placid, well mannered little pup. She is not, however, hypoallergenic, as was purported. I'd read beforehand that there's no such thing as a hypo dog, but we tried with a x-breed that should have worked...I'm off to the docs tonight to sort out the fact that my asthma's back and I've got dry eye. I'm also very stressed at work as I'm finding I've got little time for the chores in the house and it's permanently messy thanks to pup.

My DH was ambivalent and, though charmed by my girl, he does sometimes get very stressed at the extra work involved and it's caused some friction between the two of us, no doubt about it, so I'd second the people saying, if you're not all on board, think again.

Our girl is settling in nicely, though...and apart from toilet training, which is proving a biT OF A CHALLENGE (thanks for changing me to caps lock Meg) she's doing really well. And I love her to pieces, and so does my 10 year old.

DH keeps buying her things and telling me what I should do with her (in a nice way on a good day!) but, til we've got her toilet trained, I suspect he's going to nag me from here to high heaven. Luckily, he just moans at me, not the dog :)

Petit, far from it. You are being sensible and rational and exploring as many options as possible -in my book that makes you a committed dog owner who is responsible. The irresponsible thing to do would have just waltzed home with a pup after Christmas!

I can't even begin to describe the joy and comfort our dogs bring. They make our world a much better place, and we've had a horrible year this year (family bereavements and illnesses). One of the greatest joys is actually sharing that with DH - he is unbelievably soppy with the dogs. So much of our time is spent doing doggy things and it has affected so many aspects of our life - we used to travel abroad all the time and have weekends away (we don't have DC so were very footloose) - a very different story now. Hols are a week in Pembrokeshire each year and we LOVE it. I do miss weekends in London but the good so far outweighs the downsides there is no comparison. I think what I'm trying to say is that a shared love of your dog could bring you much joy as a family/couple but a one sided ownership is going to drive a wedge no matter how hard you try. Sigh, I'm crap at this!

Daisy, not all labs need 2 hrs exercise/walk a day. Mine is 15 months and is fine on around 1hr a day, although he packs a lot into that hour and its so much fun seeing him enjoy himself. He chases birds (still hasn't worked out that they will always fly away) plays frisbee, jumps over ditches, swims in the river, plays chase with other dogs he meets if they're up for it. He sleeps and mooches around happily for the rest of the day, sometimes has a short lead walk in the afternoon but quite happy without.
Perhaps it depends on the dog, some could just walk for 2 hours and not use up so much energy.

Uptown - 2 hours is the suggested exercise rate for an adult lab - by the breed society, KC, etc etc - and IME that's what they need.

They can of course manage without it - just as some dogs manage with none at all - but for a fully grown adult lab (which isn't until they get to about 2 yrs old) 2 hours is recommended.

For what it's worth, mine can also go all day if we need them to and if things aren't quite right, they can also make do with an hour if they have to BUT to plan for only allowing an hour a day for an adult dog is IMO foolhardy. They swim and run and chase - and cover miles and miles of distance. They are heavenly to watch. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Petit - I honestly don't think you'll be an unsuitable dog owner - you're approaching this in the best possible way. It does sound as though you and your DH have to so some honest talking about a dog and the impact it will have on your family though. Good luck!

Petit, if she's a good breeder she'll be proud to show her health certs here's a link that's useful to help you read a hip score www.lab-health.co.uk/Tests/hips.htm the sample certificates at the bottom should help you know the difference between a good score and an average one, you only want to see numbers above zero in the top three boxes and no individual number over three, scores should be relatively even, you don't want to see a score of 10 say made up 1/9 as this could indicate a problem with one hip, it would be better to see that score of 10 as a 5/5 or 4/6 perhaps. Here is, as far as I am aware, the most up date date stats on the hip scores www.bva.co.uk/public/documents/breed_Specific_Statistics.pdf, you'll find Labradoodles in Section F. Hope that helps.