Tell me it gets easier

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

Sorry, just need a bit of a moan I think. Jasper has had some health issues, and we're still tackling anal gland/itching/bad stench issues. But he is a smashing pup. He's now 19 weeks, and we've had him 7 weeks. His house training has started sliding backwards, so I'm back to singing and dancing and treating when he gets it right (he's on antibiotics, and teething, so I'm cutting him a lot of slack). He is walked twice a day, for about half an hour, mostly on the lead for the school run. At weekends, he has one short lead walk and one longer off lead walk (fetching a ball etc). All fine. He can be a bit chewy, jumps on the sofa, begs for food etc, but nothing unusual for a pup. The problem is that DH isn't really interested. He doesn't do any training, or play with the puppy. Now, I knew that DH wasn't that bothered either way about a dog, but I suppose I assumed that once the dog was here it would win him over (I know, I know). So all of the animal care is down to me. DH doesn't complain about the mud, or the hair, or the godawful stink, and cleans up random wees without comment. But I know that he sees the pup as an irritation, and it's stressing me out. Please someone tell me that as Jasper gets older it'll get less full on hassle, and more fun? Because I need to hear it.

It gets easier.

I had a moment about 6 weeks after we got Daphne when it sunk in that this was IT. She was our dog, my responsibility and we could not just take off at the drop of a hat. No more spontaneous days out.

Now I cannot imagine life without her.

It gets easier. My DH was like your's. Not that interested but now he totally DOTES on Daphne. He is nuts about her, and she about him.

He still doesn't do the feeding/vets etc but will take her for a walk

You are hitting the Maximum Stress phase. The novelty has worn off, the smell has settled in. Stick with it, it gets better, honestly.

It does get easier.

One day you just look at them and realise that both of you know how things work, what happens when, what causes what reactions.

With our terriers they seemed much easier around eight months to a year. The latest one is now 14 months and very nice to have around the house. Still a little devil with chasing anything she can get away with chasing, and barking in the garden, but delightful in the house.

It does get better. My husband was the same, and always moaned about things the dog wouldn't do for him, even though he never took any time to do any training with her!

The other day he said he was really proud of me for making her into a really fantastic dog (she is now 9 months). He now fully admits he did naff all to contribute to this, and I think he likes her a lot more now she is trained and through all that crappy period you are going through. He plays with her now and his confidence is growing with her, so I sometimes show him how to get her to do certain behaviours/tricks for him and he loves it. This has given him the confidence to teach her things on his own as well. I think he was just overwhelmed by her when she was a puppy and didn't have any confidence to deal with it.

She's been a lot easier since about 6 months, so you're nearly there.

It gets easier honest. Things are hard now especially if he is poorly and the stink does sound horrendous (although he can't help it poor thing) Hang on in there.

My OH is the same although he knew what he was letting himself in for when he married me! But he just ignores the pups or new fosters (how can he do that!) but once they are well trained he will walk them miles, interact with them and they suddenly become "his" dogs. Although to be honest he was the same with the kids

Give it just a few weeks and things will look very different (TBH as soon as puppy is better things will be so much easier) Also give yourself some slack people try so hard to be the perfect owner, your dog will really not care too much as long as he gets his basic needs and a cuddle in the evening.

Soon you will have a loyal loving dog whose world literally revolves around you - you will be the centre of everything he wants or needs and he will pay you back in bucket loads of doggy love and loyalty (sorry if too mushy but it is true)

Thank you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was feeling like such a caaaah for finding him less than a joy at times. Thing is, he really is a smashing puppy, and not nearly as destructive or high energy as some. Sometimes it's just hard to imagine what it will be like when everything's settled down. We bought a crate at the weekend (we were using a friend's travel box when we went out) and I've put his bed in it. We're not shutting him in, giving him treats in there etc so that eventually he'll see it as 'his' room and we'll be able to leave him for short periods without him howling (well, that's the idea). So from DH's perspective, it's another big expense. It hasn't helped that we've been to the vet 4 times in the short time we've had Jasper, and it's so far cost £100 there. I think I would worry less if DH seemed to get any pleasure from the dog, but he pretty much ignores him. He isn't unkind or anything, just not really bothered. I'm feeling the strain a bit, I think

Oh (((Chickens))))

I can relate. No useful tips, but loads of empathy. Even the dds (who adore Mouse) occasionally say 'I wish we'd NEVER GOT THE DOG'! I tell them I used to feel that sometimes when they were babies, but that it didn't mean I didn't love them. Its just bloody hard work sometimes.

Mine is hitting early adolescence, and when all the things that seem to be getting better and better suddenly backslide....

Anyway. Empathy.

I think I'm a bit like your hubby - my hubby and kids wore me down over the dog thing - but they all swore they'd do everything etc, etc, doesn't turn out like that though - I get "can you just ....." all the time - I'm left with a (currently 11 week old) puppy all day whilst hubby works and they are at school - so I get to spend huge amounts of time with something I never wanted in the first place.

I also hope things get better.

By, Eli...let us make a pact. When the shit hits the fan (sometimes literally), let us seek each other out. When the puppy pees in your shoes, steals the dinner or eats something precious, let us convene for wine and sympathy. Several times a day I think 'Ooh, 'eck. What have I done?', but I shall persevere. I shall learn to love the stench, the hair and the sneaky farts. Oh yes, this I pledge.

It gets easier.....a lot easier.

MuttDog was a bloody nightmare at first. We had a week of puking and pooing (every hour, one end or the other, 24/7) until I was almost halucinating through exhaustion. We put her on boiled chicken and rice. It got better.

Then we had the mouthing of me and DD. Lots of short sharp "OW" sounds and pushing her away. It got better.

Then the toilet training (ohhh the feeling of stepping your bare feet into a curly poo first thing in the morning ). Training pads, getting up and putting her outside at the first signal, lots of praise when she went outside and a sharp "no" if she tried inside - but no nose-rubbing, God no. It got better.

Then the chewing of DD's toys. We bought toys for MuttDog, lots of them (car boots are great) and made sure DD cleared up after herself (2 birds, one stone). It got better.

Then the lead training and recall. We used sound/scare rather than treats and it worked really well, better than my friend who use reward/treats (but I get that some people dont agree with it). It got better - she is hardly ever on a lead now, she doesnt need one!

The begging. "No" and pushed away if she begged - given some at the end of the meal if she didn't. She now sits next to DH and falls asleep when he is eating - never begs. So it got better.

Jumping on the sofa - ahh, well, we've kinda failed that one. In fact have pandered to her to the extent that she has her own end of the sofa that no-one else sits on. Hmmm... ()

MuttDog is our pride and joy, everything started getting better from 6 months onwards - now she is 2 and we are going to do it all over again. I still have my moments (bloody sodding dog hair on the sofa, waking up to doggy farts, muddy paw prints and fox poo rolling) but I wouldnt be without her and cruicially, neither would DH.

(what is it they say here? Oh yes, "This too shall pass")

Chickens, that is a deal. Though I'll pass on the wine, and substitute large quantities of chocolate.

OH its good to hear the chewing of toys passes...and yes, its true, it does get the dds to tidy up their toys far more effectively than I ever could single-pawed

In the early days I really regretted getting our pup. She was back and forth to the vet and the overwhelming realisation that I couldn't do things without bloody planning struck me very hard.

But as time has gone on, we've found our way and now we adore her and she's a fully fledged memeber of our gang.

Thats puppies for you! does get easier. honest