Problems with my grumpy terriorist again.

[DooinMeCleanin]

I know you're all sick of listening. But this time it is the devil dog who needs training. He has done nothing wrong, well nothing out of the ordinary, for him. It is DH who needs training or possibly shooting, out of kindness of course

I was in a different room. I heard him tell 8yo dd1 to bring Devil outside. Devil did not want to go out. He growled. Dd1 knows she is not to handle the dog if he challenges her and should go and get an adult so she wanted to leave it. DH thought she was defying him and despite the growling shouted at dd1 to get the dog out. I stepped in at the point and told her to come into the room I was in (getting dressed and there is an open window on the stairs with workmen in the alley so I couldn't go out).

DH then went to remove the dog, who did not want or need to go out . Devil growled. DH did not listen. Devil up his game and started full on snarling, sounded like it was teeth bared, ready to lunge snarling from where I was.

I interjected again and told DH that the dog was going to bite him, no doubt about it and he needed to either a) leave him as he didn't want to go out, b) go and get some cheese and coax him slowly or b) pop a house line on him, if he could get close enough, lead him out and then give him cheese for 'obeying'.

DH informed me that he should not have to give the dog cheese to get him to behave. This is despite the trainer and myself and my Dad all telling him dogs will only move if there is something in it for them and there is nothing wrong with 'bribing' them with treats. The dog must have scared him as he did change his tone and tactic and did manage to get the dog to go out without being bitten.

We then had a screaming row about him trying to get our child to handle an aggressive dog and about him putting the dog in a situation where he will bite despite me explaining many times how to handle him without causing him stress.

How do I get DH listen without resorting to loosing my temper and swearing when he resorts to his usual point blank answer of "The dog should not be here if he is aggressive, you need to start putting the kids first and not the dog"

Is there anything on the interweb I can show him that will show him why it's best to get the dog to work for treats and why his growling is not a show of dominance or a sign that he would be dangerous if he is correctly managed.

DH is going to get himself bitten if he is not careful. Which, to be perfectly honest, does not bother me , it would be his own fault. It concerns me that he is putting my child in the firing line.

As an aside the dog will go to the door and ask to be out if needs to go. Dh is obsessed with him going out every so often as he must need a wee after x amount of time.

Argh! FFS I've just learnt Devil was in his crate while all this was going on i.e, his safe space where he should never, ever, never be disturbed under any circumstances.

Would it be wrong of me to print off little doggy management instructions to pin up all around the house?

DH is out but has agreed to sit and have a civil conversation about how to manage the dog.

Dooin I don't want to get over personal and offend you, but I remember another thread recently about your DH and his behaviour. I don't think this is a dog issue, it's a him failing to listen / relationship issue. I know you've said you're not happy with him :( would he consider relate or something similar?

and no it wouldn't be wrong of you to put the instructions up all over the house, not sure if it would work though :( would DH agree just to ignore the dogs and let you manage them and their outside time?

good for your dd though that she did the right thing and left the dog alone :)

Ah Dooin, you've helped me so often I wish I could help back.

It does sound like a dh-training issue, not a doggy one....and kudos to your dd, as you say. If dh is obsessed with getting the dog to have regular wees...its not to do with the dog. I think you know that, so not very helpful

I don't know your situation, and do'nt want to trespass - but do think its good your dh has agreed to the conversation later on: hope it helps!

I typed a nice, long, helpful reply and it has vanished, so now all I can say is

PUT YOUR HUSBAND IN THE DOG CRATE! [hgrin]

or

Rehome the H and keep the dog. (sorry, cant help myself today)

Dooin - I got sick to death of my hubby un-doing my training with the dog, so dragged HIM to training classes on the pretext of "you take Layton and work with him, I'll work with Nancy since she's harder going" - and tipped the trainer off that it was more husband-training than dog-training (her response to that was "it usually is").

Brilliant, Deja - must remember that one

It sounds like your DH was just being impatient. Having read your threads on here, I think you are bloody brilliant with the dogs, so if anyone can explain it to DH then it's you. Maybe you just need to remind him all the stuff about pack theory being outdated and positive training working best etc. And remember to give him [DH] way more praise than you think he deserves on the occasions when he applies it!

Victoria Stillwell explains it here. And he might find it a bit patronising, but it is written by and aimed at blokes: the real man's guide to dog training.