I'll try and keep this short - I'm new to Mumsnet by the way.
We live in the Middle East and took a stray puppy in a few months ago - we didn't want to, but our friends were threatening to put it back out onto the street. They couldn't keep it themselves and all the animal shelters etc were full. So we agreed to take it in and then spent the next 2 months or so trying really hard (and failing) to find a permanent home for it. We only really accepted that we were keeping her when she was about 5 months old.
The reasons for not wanting a puppy were basically that we'd just moved out here and wanted to start settling into our new life and, although we've always wanted a dog, we swore blind that we'd never take on a puppy when the time came to get one.
So the early days were really hard. I had a big shock with how hard it was and DH would often come home from work to find me a sobbing, crumpled mess in the corner of the kitchen. I am not working out here, although I probably would have a job by now, were it not for the puppy!
We have done everything right for the puppy - she has been trained using positive reinforcement, I read all the books such as the Culture Clash and came on here quite a lot to gain a lot of knowledge about how to do things. So she's turned into a lovely 8-month old dog and we love her to bits now. My husband has taken very little active involvement in it all, although to be fair he does work 9-5. I have been nagging him to read the Culture Clash for weeks/months, but it's gathering dust on his bedside table.
Obviously, having a dog in the Middle East is a massive bind - dogs are not welcome here, so you can't take them ANYWHERE and the only place I can walk her is on a remote beach half an hour to an hour's drive from our house. It was particularly challenging over the summer, as you can imagine!
So, that's the background - it's been a tough few months. I often think what my life would be like without her. I try not to leave her alone for too long, so I can only really go out once a day, at most, as she has some Saluki in her and I know she gets pretty depressed when I'm not around (that's a Saluki thing). She is a Saluki/Retriever mix, by the way, possibly with some GSD in there.
Now she's older, I am trying to have more of a life. I signed up for a photography course, which is one evening a week for six weeks. I am also volunteering for a big event, and have told them I can only work evenings because they want to me to do 4 hour shifts, and I don't want to leave the dog alone for that long during the day.
The thing is, this whole situation has brought out the worst in my husband and it's making me question my desire to have kids with him. I came home at 10.30pm last night and he had the right hump that I had been out all evening and 'left him with the dog'. He does adore her and they had been having fun together, but when I pushed him on his exact concerns, he couldn't really be specific. I think he's just bitter that I was out and he was 'stuck home with the dog', but that's kind of how I spend 8 hours a day, so gawd knows what it would be like if I had children to care for. It's not like she is a big hassle to be stuck at home with - these days she is very calm and a joy to be around at home, although you still have to keep a close on eye on her of course.
I don't know what I'm asking really. I just needed to get it off my chest. I am sitting here sobbing and the poor dog is downstairs on her own, so I should go and see her.
Has anyone else found the dog has brought such a massive strain on their relationship, and how did you deal with it? I have heard of couples going through such shifts when the wife takes time out of her career to have kids, but never for dogs.