Had my beautiful greyhound put to sleep on Monday.

[Selegas]

You'll have to excuse my rambling, but I feel so guilty about my dog's last few months.
DH & I got our ex racing greyhound Boo back in 2002 when we first moved in together. He was perfect. Great on and off the lead, friendly with anyone & never any bother.
We had so many holidays, the three of us, he was our baby.
In 2010 our DD was born. He was so kind and gentle with me when I was pregnant and with her when she was born.
However, I suffered with post natal depression and ended up taking it out on him, shouting at him and generally being a cow. I still walked him every day and tried to be loving but didn't feel the same about him now I had my DD.
He had a stroke on Sunday. We took him to the vets and she gave him steroids and antibiotics. He seemed to brighten up, then was bad again Monday afternoon. We took him to the vets and had him put to sleep. He lay in our arms on his bed. It was very peaceful and I talked to him as he died, telling him he was a good brave boy and that I loved him. It was heartbreaking.
We're getting his ashes back next week and will keep some and scatter the rest on the beach in Wales on holiday in October. He was supposed to be coming with us and he adored running on the beach.
I just feel so guilty that I upset him towards the end. I miss him dreadfully.
Sleep well Boo xxx

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Don't beat yourself up - you were ill with PND but you still managed to walk him and try to be loving - that's more than a lot of people with a new baby without PND could manage.

I know about feeling guilty after losing a beloved dog, its awful- but try to remember that you gave this ex-racer a lovely life that he mightn't have had.

He had many happy years with you. Remember the good times, don't dwell on the rest. PND is not your fault and he would have been aware that you were poorly and not yourself, rather than the 'cow' you think of yourself as being.

Clever people, dogs

Sweet dreams Boo x

Selegas, you did a wonderful thing in giving a home and a wonderful life to a greyhound who would otherwise have been killed or dumped. It sounds as though he had a fantastic life with you. We have three greyhounds - they are gentle souls who are adorable and loving.

Not only did you give Boo a wonderful life but he also died peacefully in your arms. No dog owner can ask for more than this. Your DD will have known him, if only for a short while, and now he will be part of your family history, so as your DD grows up you can tell her all the wonderful stories about Boo's adventures on the beach and the other lovely things you did with him.

Nothing can take away the pain at the moment. But in time, you will be able to remember the good times. Please be gentle with yourself.

You gave Boo a great life so don't be too hard on yourself.
We all have times when we have are not proud of the way we behaved, but you know that and i am sure you have more good times to remember with boo than bad.
You were there in his passing, and that is wonderful. The way you portrayed it was very moving and with real feeling.
Thank you for caring

Thank you all so much for your comments. They have really helped.
I suppose guilt is a natural reaction to losing something/someone we love, especially when we have to make the final decision.
I miss him terribly and the house seems very quiet, big and clean without him! My DD and I are still going for walks every day and I feel like he's there with us. I'm looking forward to scattering his ashes on the beach in October. He used to run like the wind on beaches with a dopey smile on his face and with everyone on the beach watching him. I hope its a really windy day so he can run fast again. He's being cremated today.
My sweet boy

Oh dear, I need a tissue!
big hugs