bloody dh!!!

[misdee]

arrrgh can i rehouse my husband?

we have two doodles, hard work but very rewarding.

i have been ill lately with severe pnd and have been striggling so poor doods having been getting my full attention. i have various support groups and on those day i expect dh to walk the dogs.

but he doesnt.

then he gets stressed that they misbehave.

he know wants the dogs to go.

part of me (the pnd part) is going 'yes lets rehome them' as atm i am v v v anxious, even getting out of the house some days is hard.

the main part of me is going 'noooooooo, because who else will come and cuddle me, keep me happy and content and not answer back?'

i dont kow what to do.

Tell dh to go, instead. Remind him that they are misbehaving as they need their walk, then ignore him until he takes them out.

We have a gsd 11 months who has a sore leg. We haven't been able to walk her for 3 weeks, she's like a pinball machine at the moment

Tell him that he wanted 2. You were happy with the one.

If you need help walking them at times. Give me a shout.

And why haven't you told me about the severe part?? I'd be round with vodka choc!

ah he argues that it was that wanted two. i love them both.

i did a quick 20mins walk/training session each when i got in before he went to work, and now have two calm dogs.

the thing is, ebcause of their misbehaving on the lead the new dog trainer ays keep walks short, but several so it doesnt take long to walk both, then can do command training out in the back garden or the front drive.

they both want to learn and have it in them to be brilliant dogs but need a firm hand which atm neither of us has.

doesnt help that this week dh is irritable as hell as has been put back on steroids and strong anti biotics for his skin condition and is like a bear with a v v sore head.

Arguing about who wanted them is not helping. Could you sit down and have a serious conversation with him about what the dogs need each day, both in terms of walks and other training/interaction? Once you've agreed on what's needed, you can then discuss like adults who will do what on which day. Some couples find that it helps if one does all the morning walks say, while you might find that he can take responsibility on Thursdays but can't do Mondays because he works late and then does his weekly ballroom dancing lesson afterwards. The key is to reach a shared agreement.

Remind both yourself and him, that you are responsible for these dogs, that they are not toys and they need lots of daily exercise and interaction, irrespective of your health or inclination. If it helps, consider using a professional dog walker a couple of times a week which will at least take some of the pressure off you both.

There are many, many dog owners on here who manage singlehandedly to exercise and care for dogs even when sick, heavily pregnant, and with eye watering numbers of small children - I am in awe of them.

I don't know the back story of these dogs, but it doesn't sound like you've had them for very long.

And if anyone offers you help, take it with both hands. Depression is a beast - the irony is that walking your dog is recognised as being one of the best ways of dealing with it, and you've already mentioned the joy of the unconditional love you get from your dogs - hang on to that feeling when things are tough.

i have eyewatering amount of children (5). the dogs are easier than them.

we have had them for almost a year, and until recently i have done 90% of the care for the dogs, dh now works lates, and because of my meds have been useless past 7pm

i feel shitty about how i'm feeling anyway, without having to be compared.

dh is ill himself, and having a tough time right now, steroids make him crap, have exhausted him etc etc and he cant sleep. tis is the strongest dose he has ever been on. even post transplant.

the dogs are not going, but i am having to get firmer with dh about all of this, am hoping that once this treatment course has finished he feels less irritable about general doggy behaviour. he is a sod to live with atm, and i hate it.

stick him in the shed.

the shed is going to be my den. he can have the piddly little playhouse.

He can have the storage cupboard downstairs loo!

What I'd like is someone to watvch the children between 7-8 so I can get thst evening walk back in and relax before bed. But dh at work til 10.

Bloody cheek!
When i am having an off day my dogs are my destressers!
Need to have a chat and say you need support in this, won't be forever.

They are hard as essentially teenagers and learning each day stil. Ralph can't jump but can open doors so opens the kitchen door and tomn leaps the gate to look for treats.

They are good fun who aren't bad dogs. They want to learn and please.

And nothing beats a doodle cuddle in the evenings imo. They think they are lap dogs lol.

Misdee, I'm sorry. I can see that's not helpful. I'd definitely get a dog walker and I am now in awe of you - five DC and two doodles is a lot for anyone.

i still think a babysitter would bebetter as i do actually enjoy walking the dogs once i'm out of the house.

and sorry for snappy, am v v sensitive atm and anything can set me off. even a teaspoon being in the wrong drawer

If you could get a sitter the walks would probably do you a lot of good if you enjoy them.

I hate walking our labs so it doesn't have the same effect!

I get pissed off with DH though as I walk ours Mon-Fri and he is supposed to do weekends but it only happens if I nag.

Sorry you are feeling so crap though. And DH.

nothing beats a good walk to clear cobwebs away. going to see if i can sneak out extra early tomorrow morning without dd4 and ds waking up, and give them a good walk before school and again before lunch and dh going to work, then do short training in the evening.

Misdee huge big hugs. (dont give a jot if it not mumsnetty)

Anyone with two lovely big teenage doodles and children would feel knackered and stretched. You are right to get a plan of action in place so you can give yourself time to recover and heal.

I think it sounds a great idea to have a bit of time out to walk the dogs - are there any local friends with grown up DC who could give you a bit of time in the evenings by sitting with your DC's for a hour?

Or how about popping the dogs in kennels to give yourself a well earned break for a week? I can't remember where you are - there may well be home sitters I know that would love to help out.

I wish I was near I would love to walk your guys or sit with your littlies for a bit (more experienced with dogs but would not let the DC's come to any harm - only give them the odd frutishoot - kidding!)

I can't think of a real way to help but you are right to ask for help and you MUST get help. In no way must you feel bad about this - you have more on your plate than any super woman can deal with.

I guess with your DH and you both feeling below par things do come to a head and you both want to help each other out but just about have the energy to keep going. Get someone to help with those doodles - the dogs will not care and it will just take the pressure off and give you all time to recover

This will pass but lets try and make it easier until it does and if you think I can do anything just yell.

fruitshoots i dont mind. but if you gave dd4 milk as a bedtime drink you may need to be epipen trained....

Rehome the DH and get a good looking, fit, male dog walker who you can then pay in kind. Problem solved

Send DH for desexing!

The steroids for dh have finished. He is happy again. And doods are as well.

Working on deciding between dogwalker or babysitter.