How long before getting a dog and breed suggestions please?

[PiousPrat]

Brief backstory; I am a SAHM to 2 DS's and pg with DS3. DP lives 300 miles away. We will be moving in together soon, into DP's house. The DC have wanted a dog since forever. We used to have a rescue German Shepard who we had to leave behind when I left my ExP (midnight flit), so the boys have some idea of what it is like to live with a dog rather than just an idealised notion of it, and I have a vague clue what I am doing having a dog and babies in the house.

The Shep was an unplanned rescue, I hadn't considered getting a dog before, so was around pre-kids. This brought a few problems re: pecking order so obviously I will be waiting until DS3 is born before getting a dog, if only out of laziness in not wanting to reestablish the pecking order but I'm not sure how long to wait. We move in with DP in July, DS3 is due start of Sept and I have told the DS's 1&2 (age 10 and 11) that we won't even be considering getting a dog until everyone is settled into their new routines of school, work, baby etc and DS3 has a bit of a routine going, so next year at the earliest, which they are fine with since I have explained how it would be unfair on the dog to bring it into a home going through upheaval.

Being nosy little blighters, they are wanting specifics, like when next year, how old does DS3 have to be? What sort of dog will it be? and this is where I come a bit unstuck and am looking for some advice. Having had the Shep, I fully understand how much work a big dog requires in terms of walking and space, so have vetoed big dogs as I can't guarantee that I can offer a minimum of an hour a day, every day for a walk, however I have an irrational dislike of 'scrappy dogs', by which I mean tiny ones which IME have a tendancy to constant yipping and TBH I am feared that I will trip over something that small or sit on it by mistake So I am left with middling size dogs. There seem to be a lot of them and I am at a loss as to breed, or even if we want a specific breed over a mongrel.

Can anyone help with suggestions as to how old DS3 should be, or how long we should all be settled into the new house before we get a dog and which type to go for please?

Sorry for the length, I was trying to avoid having to come back and give countless extra details to enable advice but think I may have gone into TMI territory

I would have thought any dog needed AT LEAST an hour a day for a walk (prepares to be corrected).

Greyhound? I think they are mean't to be one of the most idle breeds, easy coat care & could rescue one!

We have a rescue lurcher - greyhound saluki cross. She is so docile and easy going. Whenever we meet children on walks she just puts up with them patting her, and lunging at her! She gets a walk to the park on lead (10 mins there, 10 mins back) and a 20 minute walk around the park off lead chasing the ball, and is totally zonked after that. More at weekend.
She sleeps most of the day whether we are around or not! If she is lucky she gets to go to the local shop with eldest dd most days - about 10 minutes. But although it would be better, she doesnt always get more than one walk a day.
Definitely recommend. Loves human company and being fussed.
We struck lucky with our dog, as i know a lot are not great at recall off the lead.

What TroubledPrincess said. :)

I'm not saying that you should never have a dog or that you're not suited to having a dog, just not yet, not given what you've said. Sorry, it's not what you want to hear but a bored dog is an unhappy dog and one which is more prone to go self-employed and do his own thing.

I'm sorry to say this, but several things about your post are ringing alarm bells for me. Leaving behind your last dog when you left is the first. Has your exP managed to keep/look after the dog? Secondly you haven't said anything at all about your new partner's views on having a dog. Having a dog is a decision that should be taken by all the adults in the house NOT the children. Has DP had one before? Is he fully signed up to it? Does he understand the responsibilities, time, money, commitment etc?

WTF is a "pecking order" problem? Any bonkers ideas about Pack theory etc have long since been discredited.

You should be committed to at least an hour every day for any dog, large or small, as a bare minimum. We have three rescue greyhounds - they have an hour's walk on weekdays and longer on weekends. Yes they sleep a lot, but we also spend time with them doing training (ha! Sighthound recall!!), grooming, playing and other forms of entertainment. Don't forget all the miscellaneous time spent on things like vet appts, training classes as well. We regard this time as the minimum needed - there are many small dogs that would need several hours a day of walking including training, interactive play etc - otherwise they'd be climbing the walls.

With a new baby and two existing children, I'd say the best course would be to wait until everyone is very well settled into their new life and look again realistically at the commitment you can make. This is not cruel to your children - in fact it will be teaching them about the responsibilities of pet ownership, and how important it is not to take on these unless a family is fully committed. And don't think your children should/will do it - this has to be an adult decision. When you've moved, what about contacting the local dogs's home/rescue and getting the kids involved in regularly walking some of the dogs? This might be a good half way house.

Don't assume a smaller dog will always need less exercise - some little terriers have vast amounts of energy, and thinking of the medium-size dogs I know some very energetic young spaniels and collie-crosses who want to be on the go all the time, often bigger dogs are more laid-back.

Having said that, as others have mentioned, if you don't feel you can dedicate an hour a day to walking and exercise, you probably don't have time for a dog right now, unfortunately :(. Unless there's some way you can rearrange your day to make the time, or pay a dog walker?

Waves back to Val

I would have to agree that I dont think many dogs would be happy with an hour or less of excercise a day, I have a very small dog and she needs at least an hour and a half and more often than not has 2.5hrs a day.

No worries about telling me things I may not want to hear. I am well aware that there may be things that I haven't considered, which is why I asked. I would far rather be told now that I am being naive, then discover it for myself after getting the dog. 'Tis why I asked

When I said an hour a day, I meant in one block, one to one time with just the dog, certainly to begin with at least. I can easily fit in 2 half hour walks or 3 20 minute ones, but I would prefer, for the dogs sake, an hour long block so that the dog can have a good run out. The nature of my DP's work means that there isn't a definite time he is home by so that coupled with general family life means I can't guarantee that every single day, I will have a minimum of an hour to take the dog out alone. Obviously when the dog is trained a bit I can take it with me when I take DS3 out for a walk so I'm not sure that that means the dog wouldn't get enough exercise, but I am willing to be proven wrong. Again, it is why I asked. You lot seem to have way more dog owning experience than me so I am shamelessly using you as a font of wisdom.

Scuttlebutter sorry, in my (vain) attempt to be brief I obviously left out some important details. It wasn't my choice to leave my dog behind before. Given the chance I would have brought her with me. However, as I was fleeing domestic violence (aimed at me, not the kids or dog) and it was as I said, a midnight flit, I left in my mother's tiny car and had the choice between bringing the dog or bringing the kids. We were going to be staying at my mother's for a then unknown length of time as well, as it wouldn't be possible to have the dog there, it simply wouldn't have been fair to the dog to have been in a 2 bedroom house filled with clutter and no back garden to speak of, especially when I was at a time when I couldn't walk her myself (broken leg) and my mother dislikes dogs so wouldn't have taken her.

I did try and get her rehomed after I left, but it was difficult getting sense from anyone or finding anyone able to help since I was no longer classed as her owner.

I couldn't think of the best way to phrase what I meant, so went with 'pecking order', but I guess what I mean is that it would make sense for a dog to be out of sorts when a new addition arrives, whereas if DS3 were already here, the dog would be coming in to an established unit so there wouldn't be the issue of fitting in, then fitting in again IYSWIM?

Yes DP had dogs (anything up to 4 at a time I believe) as a child and it is only his parent's ill health that stopped them getting more as the others died of old age, so they no longer have any. He doesn't have any himself as he sometimes works long hours and is often away for the weekend visiting me, so it wouldn't be fair on the dog. Obviously most of that won't be an issue once I live there as well. He is keen to have a family dog and TBH it would be more for me and him than for the kids. The kids have always had it explained to them that we couldn't have one before as it wouldn't be fair to the dog, and that there are lots of things to consider before getting one, so them waiting isn't an issue at all, as I agree with you that it certainly isn't cruel to them, and may in fact be doing them wrong as it would teach them that animals needs don't need to be respected which wouldn't exactly be a good lesson.

epiphany that is a good point and I was making an assumption based on leg length and limited observation of the big (boisterous) dogs I know and the small (laid back) ones. I should have realised that like children, Every Dog is Different.

FWIW, thank you all for your replies and I am taking them on board. As I have said, I do not intend to get a dog unless I am certain that I can offer it the care and attention that it needs, and in any case am not considering it for a year yet at least. If it turns out that our situation isn't appropriate for having a dog, then I will of course be upset as I do love furry hugs [winks] but I would far rather get as much advice now as possible and decide that it wouldn't work for us, than just blindly do it and end up doing wrong by the dog.

Gah I do hope I'm not coming across as an idiotic 'zomgz i really want a puppyyyyyyyyyyy they r soooo cutez!' type and that I am making it clear that I am trying to give this as much consideration as possible.

its great you are asking for advice and not better place than the doghouse to ask

for anyone else reading this fleeing domestic violence womens aid will be able to give you the details of volunteers who foster dogs until you are able to have the dog with you. this may be after leaving refuge or family/friends and when you are in permanent accommodation. i imagine foster places are in limited supply but it is worth asking. this scheme was set up as some women were staying with abusive partners as they were too afraid to leave the dog and it at least removes one obstacle when considering leaving. sadly men can become violent to the dog when their other outlet (sickeningly by that i mean their partner) for taking their aggression out on is no longer there

it is vital to consider, as you are, how much exercise you can give a dog. as an example my 14yr (yes 14!) old dog still has about 2hrs a day. she doesnt run at full speed for all that time now she is older. fwiw i think the fact that she has been so active all of her life has contributed to her being so fit in old age unlike me

14yr old is a small dog. when she was younger she could easily have a 5-6 hrs every day, often more. our middle size dog needs a few hours per day too and one or two full days out on the weekend.

if you do consider a dog in the future maybe it would help you to consider an adult rescue dog as you will not have to go through all the puppy stage and therefore should be able to walk dog with pushchair within a week or two of dog living with you. walking to heel shouldnt take long to teach in an adult dog

fwiw
i am not saying that our dog just gets the 40 - 50 mins a day!
She goes out most evenings with us wherever we go and gets loads of attention that way coz everyone loves her - we walk wherever we go too.
Also obviously playing and training
But i would definitely recommend a sight hound personality wise, and yes i realise we are lucky to have an excellent recall sighthound! (as long as we have gravy bones with us, and there are no rabbits or squirrels lol!)

do you have a pic of her? when i read what type of cross she is i thought she must be stunning