<sigh> another of my friends won't come to my house now her baby has been born

[MrsRhettButler]

because clearly my dogs baby killers are just waiting for the chance to eat her pfb

seriously, i have two biggish dogs one sbt cross abd and one abd but.... she's been coming to my house for years and has never witnessed any bad behavior from them so i just don't understand it, she actually liked my dogs up until her baby was born

the abd is only 7 mnths old and is liable to get excited/jump so i would crate her just because of that anyway and i told her this, i offered to crate my boy too if she wanted (mind you her baby is 4 mnths old so wont be crawling on the floor he will be in someones lap) but still crating is not good enough.

they will clearly EAT THEIR WAY OUT AND KILL HER BABY!

i know this isn't AIBU (i'm far too chicken to ask on there) but... wibu if i refused to go to her house ever again either under protest?

this is the friend who asked me what on earth am i going to do when my baby (due in sep) comes? will i sell them or give them to the pound!
i already have a 5 yo dd who the dogs love to pieces.... the mind boggles

aaaaarrrrrgghhhh

Do your dogs bark and go mad when crated? I can't think why else she would object if they were crated.

Sorry, but aggressive looking dogs do scare me as there's no way of knowing if they will attack someone or not, from a distance and without talking to the owner (who might be miles behind them). So have been known to cross the road.

There is a staffy who visits next door who barks like he wants to eat everyone within a ten mile radius but apprently is 'fine'. I am disturbed and annoyed by the constant barking, when he is here.,..it sounds really aggressive.

Saying that I hope you don't fall out and manage to resolve this.

gonzo - you sound like a great mother. its good for children to get used to dogs, after all they will encounter them in daily life. your child will grow up knowing how to safely interact with dogs and understand their body language (am amazed at how many parents dont do this)

also, i think some people take the hygiene thing too far. ds does have allergies and we have to be aware of that but otherwise let them get dirty and shock horror have germs

I didn't grow up around dogs - the main reason I didn't turn into a dog-fearing neurotic child (I was definitely a cat person) was because we occasionally went to visit my uncle - who had a very big lairy looking German Shepherd... you know - big dog - scary potential baby-eater. Surely he should have shut this one away in horror?! I mean I was slightly edgy and unsure around these big hairy woofy things that weren't cats.

Uncle was a police dog handler and this was the best-trained German Shepherd you'd ever hope to meet... still think he should have shut it away?

I'm eternally grateful he DIDN'T shut it away - got me over my unfamiliarity with dogs, ended up with me getting my own (and probably number 2 if we find the perfect candidate soon)... and I still have a mahoosive soft spot for the breed (but hubby says they're too big for us to have one in our sized house - bah).

OP i had a friend like this, it was always me having to go to her house as she didnt want to be near my SBT (makes it even worse that she isnt scared of dogs at all, she just reads about SBT attacks and thinks that all SBTs are clearly just waiting for a kid to drop into their gaping jaws).

I offered to put my dog in the kitchen or back yard and when she finally did come to see me she didnt bring her DD.

We've grown apart now, from my part mostly because of her stupid attitude.

She also asked me if I was going to get rid of my dog when I got pg

So so silly and denying their children experience with the best, mostloyal little friends they will ever have. No matter what breed of dog, its the way the owner trains them, that will dictate the way the dog will interact with the children, my little collie cross just licks their toes :) I think its sad how cautious parents have gotten, you just need to keep a keen eye so that the child doesn't have a bad experience of animals when they are small

ingrid my boy will bark if i crate him before i answer the door but if i let him sniff people when they first come in (which i do) and then crate him straight away he will lie down and go to sleep. He just needs to 'say hello'

out of interest what equates an 'aggressive looking dog?'

southmum your friend sounds just like mine :(

Sorry, MrsRhett, I didn't want to offend anyone and hope I haven;t. My point was I'm a dog thicko, I genuinely have little idea about dog behaviour, didn't grow up with them (apart from occasional visit to grandparents with friendly beagles whose basket I used to love sleeping in)

By aggressive looking I mean a dog that is pulling a lot on its lead, the owner doesn't look terribly in control, or it is barking a lot and being told off etc. Also those that are off lead and being encouraged to act in an aggressive manner. This is probably common sense.

I will also admit to being wary of anything that looks like a possible pit bull, or Staffy, just in case, unless it's leaded, and the owners look super friendly and have kids with them etc. This since an unleashed pit bull (yes, I looked it up properly - it wasn't the closed eye ugly thing everyone assumes is a pit bull and I did correctly identify almost 100% of those photos of dogs in the test someone linked to on here regarding the misconception of what is a pit bull) fronted up to ds1 in the park behind school one day - I mean literally ran towards him, stopped slightly short, stood and growled horribly as in it was about to attack if ds moved an inch, till I yelled really loud and the blooming thing came bounding over to have a go at me instead, so ds could run away, crying. The owners were off their heads on something and really nasty to us though they did eventually come and get the dog after I yelled at them. They said 'it's not his fault, he's just been brought up to act like that' which I thought covered it really.

It's not just out of prejudice, I realise most of these breeds are harmless to a strange child but when I am with the children, I tend to be very cautious - I won't cross the street if the dog is behaving well and on a lead however much he looks like a bull terrier, and will gently encourage ds1 (now rather traumatised) to look to the owner, ask, make eye contact, judge their behaviour and so on and if the dog is being good, etc etc it's probably perfectly safe. He's learning not to panic.

But yes an aggressive behaving dog and we will scarper.

What I mean is some people just don't understand dogs like you do. I wouldn't necessarily know the signs of aggression, the signs of being a soppy furry thing that wouldnt hurt a fly, etc. So it is perhaps natural to be cautious if you just don't know the potential risk. If that makes sense, and it isn't a case of hating or dismissing dogs, just not being educated about them.
Loads of people hate cats and having grown up with a scowly, lovely, sharp clawed cat with various MH problems I get them straight away - i've had so many it's silly. I'll know a cross one from a friendly one.

I'm clueless with dogs and can only guess based on the owner, really.

IB,

You could have this conversation about any animal though.

My Nan's cat is satan itself, everytime I go anywhere near Nan's house it attacks me - boy does that animal have sharp claws!

When I was young (maybe 5) I got caught under a rearing horse and scared the life out of myself BUT I went on to work with horses (and the mental colly x) for 15 years. During my time working with horses I have been bitten, kicked, barged. All of these behaviours have happened because of the horses experiences at human hands.

I have rarely come across bad animals, only bad owners.

Your childs experience has contributed to your, and their behaviour around dogs. As an animals experience will contribute to how they are around you. Is there any chance you can find someone with dogs that your child can visit to quash that fear?

Absolutely, Gonzo and I wasn't trying to defend the people who are very ill educated about dogs - just trying to explain that it isn't necessarily part of everyone's background and their parents might have taught them badly about dogs. It's a shame some people are so upset by the lack of understanding. Reeducating people when the chance arises is a great thing to do.

I try to be very open minded about things I don't understand. We talk to and stroke dogs, with permission, whenever we meet them, though none of our friends has a dog. Ds's father has one but he isn't around much so we have only met this creature once. It was a soppy, furry thing, apparently deadly to rabbits though (Bedlington x whippet). I have never seen such a daft expression on a hound

Some people just don't like dogs. It doesn't mean that you think they are going to tear your babies face off. I was brought up with dogs but now I am an adult I avoid going into homes where there are dogs.

I don't like the hair or the smell and I hate it when they jump up and want to lick me and the owners just think they are being cute. I suppose some people feel the same way about children.

no offence taken ingrid :)

obviously some owners don't seem in control of their dogs and i am wary of those also as you just don't know how the dogs have been brought up.
there's a dog on my road that hunts for a person/child if she ever gets to sneak out while her owner is doing the rubbish or watering the garden. That is a very dangerous dog, she has bitten two children on our street already i can't believe he still has the dog really as he clearly can't keep her away from children.
she got out again last week when all the children were playing out and luckily i had my girl dog tied to my front fence so she went straight for her as she was barking instead of the kids! there was then a fight between her and my boy dog Max
my dd now doesn't want to play out the front unless Max is out there with her 'to protect her' she says :(

i know some people just don't like dogs and i guess i have to just deal with that, but i know my friends think my dogs will eat their babies because they have said so to my face!

Thankyou MrsRB, it's such a shame that some people's attitude to their pets makes it much harder to convince the world that most dogs ARE safe.

I hope you do manage to salvage the friendship, somehow.

my best mate is terrified of dogs after watching her sister being mauled by a farm dog at age 5.
She will cross teh road if she sees a dog and regularly buts teh buggy between her and a dog if she is out waliking.
She is so aware that she wants her DC's to be okay and confident around dogs she actively encourages them to spend time with my dogs. Now after 3 years she can come into my house without me having to shut the husky outside. She doesn't like him but just ignores him and he her.
People can be such idiots.
I am so proud of my friend as she had good reason to be scared and as overcome her fear. And her children are happy and relaxed around my dogs.

I have several friends who are terrified of my dogs (even though one is a puppy!) but I don't shut my dogs away, if they don't like it they don't have to visit.

A dear friend who was terrified of dogs came to stay with us. She came with me to dog school, lots and lots of dogs and lots of trainers. By the end of the session, she said that she had seen enough dogs to last a lifetime, but at least felt that there was nothing to be afraid of.

There are lots of pets that I would rather not have and some which I think would be better to eat. It does not stop me seeing my friends though and there are other things to talk about, I hope.