"Just A Dog" - for those who understand... and for those who just don't.

[Vallhala]

"'Just a dog...?'

From time to time people tell me: 'Lighten up, its just a dog' or, 'That's a lot of money for Just a dog.'  They just don't understand the distance traveled, time spent, or costs involved for 'Just a dog.' 

Some of my proudest moments have come about with 'Just a dog'. Many hours have passed with my only company being 'Just a dog' - and not once have I felt slighted. Some of my saddest moments were brought about by 'Just a dog'. And in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of 'Just a dog' provided comfort and purpose to overcome the day.

If you, too, think its 'Just a dog' then you will probably also understand phrases like 'Just a friend', 'Just a sunrise', or 'Just a promice'. 'Just a dog' brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. 'Just a dog' brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of 'Just a dog' I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

For me and folks like me, it's not 'Just a dog'. It's an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. 'Just a dog' brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday people can understand it's not 'Just a dog'. It's the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being 'Just a man'.

So the next time you hear the phrase 'Just a dog' - smile, because they 'Just Don't Understand'."

Well, I can't honestly say that the cats are as important as DD, but they most certainly are family and not "just cats". And it will be a very Serious Situation round here when it's their Time.
We do jokingly call them DD's older and younger sisters, though.

I refuse to let anybody say to me that my beautiful boy was "just a dog".
My bulldog died aged 10 in January and it was and is still so hard. I still miss him so much. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and I still have tremendous sadness about him going.
I'm still angry at those who haven't acknowledged that he has died and haven't said anything. It's ok I will return the favour when their time is right, which sounds very vengeful but he was a huge part of our lives and he wasn't just a dog. He was part of our family.

Actually I think you are being a bit unfair to say people who think 'just a dog' also understand 'just a friend', 'just a promise'.

I used to want a dog with all my heart but wasn't allowed one. Now I wouldn't get one because we are not home enough in the day and often travel at weekends and it would be unfair on the dog. I have to be content with cats.

I still however think that some people, perhaps not the ones on this thread, are getting things out of proportion when a family member who is crazy about her animals serves freshly roast chicken to her dogs but refuses to serve meat to visiting children. Or expects babies to crawl in floors spotted with dog piss dribbles because her incontinent dog will feel left out if shut in the utility room during the duration of a visit.

X posts with HappyWheezer, I can't believe people say 'it's just a pet' when someone is grieving!

But as I said below, I think sometimes the words 'just a dog' can be said fairly.

My MIL is a manager who is quite bossy and domineering (I have worked for her), but she is fair and soft as when you need her. One of her staff members one day came into work in tears, MIL asked her what was wrong and she explained about her dog being very ill and most likely needing to to be put to sleep , her DH had taken her dog to the vets but she had still come in to work as she thought no one would understand.

MIL told her to go home and do what she needed to do and to take the rest of the day off paid. MIL's boss asked her why she did this as it is 'just a dog'. MIL told me that she kinda (in her own words) 'went off on one' (MIL is scared of no one not even her boss) a dog is not just a dog, a dog is a friend, family member and a companion who will always be there. She said her boss looked like this but he soon shut up

Unfortunately the ladies dog did have to be put to sleep, MIL gave her a week off work paid so she could have some time coming to terms with her loss.

DH & I have 2 dogs, love them to bits, and MIL & FIL adore them.

Oh and they also adore the DD's as do DH and myself

I feed meat to my dog, but wouldn't serve meat to a visiting child or adult (or eat it myself), and I don't see the problem with that - humans and dogs are physically different and have different dietary needs. And if visitors feel my floor is not clean enough for their baby to crawl on, they can pick the baby up and not let it crawl on the floor.

Sorry but I don't think that's out of proportion at all. And I would never say 'just a dog'. Yes he's a dog, no he's not the same as a human and of course I don't treat him the same - just as you don't treat a child the same as an adult, because they're not the same and have different needs and abilities - but that doesn't mean one is less important than the other. There's no 'just' about it.

Ephiny, I see your point about one not being less important than the other and that qualifying any sentient creature with 'just' being inappropriate. So perhaps I might stop myself thinking 'it's just an animal' when such situations crop up in the future.

But I still maintain that those situations are damned rude. They would also be rude if they were caused because of another human, not a dog.

Babies don't always want to be held. 1 yr olds cry if you hold them when they want to be exploring. If you invite someone to your house presumably you want to see them and talk to them? So why put them in a position where either you have to try and hold a conversation over a crying baby or one of the parents has to take the baby upstairs (where the old dog can't go) to play. If you invited people over with a baby of crawling, putting in the mouth age, you'd expect your 5 yr old to put the Lego away or take it in a different room, for the comfort of you guests, wouldn't you?

Of course humans can go without meat. I don't eat it myself. But if you had really cooked human grade meat for a dog and a small child who is sitting at the table eating his dinner asks for a bit when you were carving the beautiful golden roast chicken for your dog, would you really say no?

I have to say, Othersideofthechannel, that you make a very valid point. . My dogs are family members, who we love dearly and are certainly not "just a dog". However, there is no way I'd let them into certain parts of the house after working all day - mostly because they've spent the day working with DH in the cow sheds, with the associated muck! . Hell, I even DH has house rules! They are happy with their beds in the kitchen and they know the house routine, which keeps them settled & calm - it's not a question of "making them feel left out". :)

And as for giving them a beautiful golden roast chicken - yes, they get all the left over scraps off the chicken AFTER we have eaten it! Having said that, if one of them has been a bit unwell, I have been known to cook up turkey breast or chicken breast to mix with rice to settle their stomach and DH has had to eat beans on toast...

otherside - i am one of those people who won't shut the dog away.

it distresses him to be shut away when people are here, he is a very spoiled and friendly staffie who can't understand why he is being shut away when all he wants to do is say hello.

i can't cope with him being distressed - he cries and scratches the door to be let out. so now if somebody doesn't like/is scared of dogs i'm afraid i just arrange to meet them elsewhere. it's a shame but it is the only solution that works for me.

QuietTiger, I'm glad someone can see it from my pov.

Ceres, I wouldn't want a distressed dog or a distressed child. But not all dogs get distressed when shut into one part of the house when there are guests and I know this one doesn't because when the dog crazy person is out, the rest of the family shut the incontinent dog into the utility room when there are guests.

It is not a question about disliking or being scared of dogs. I don't dislike dogs and although one of my children is scared of them, she can cope being in the same room provided they don't jump up.

I just think that an incontinent dog and a baby of crawling age cannot be in the same room for hours. Fortunately most dog owners are sensible and realise this!

Fully agree with Val's post. 'Just a dog' is a phrase used by people who don't understand. My two are much a much loved part of the family, and I can't even begin to contemplate what it'll be like when they go.

I will, however, shut at least one of them away if we have certain visitors. We regularly host DD's friend, a boisterous three year old who veers between wanting to play with the dogs and being afraid of them. They are big and they are playful, and this child has, on one occasion kicked Boydog in the head. As far as Boydog is concerned, this is rough play, which he loves, but you can't let a Rottweiler play rough with a three year old.

So when he comes around, Boydog goes in the garden, more for his benefit that that of the child. He is not agressive, but he's big. I the child was hurt, Boydog would have to go, and ltns not fair to put him in that position.

(Said child is lovely, by the way. DD adores him. He's just still learning how to behave around dogs.)

otherside - i can see your point of view. i suppose i am just pointing out that it isn't always as simple as jputting the dog in another room.

obviously lots of dogs are quite happy to be put in another room or the garden, unfortunately mine isn't one of them.

I won't shut my dog away. He's part of my family.

Heck - babies distress me greatly these days... but I don't demand friends shut theirs away because it upsets me - I just deal with it.

I expect the same consideration for my wonky unconventional family. Don't like it - don't come to mine (and my dog and cat's) home.

My 'just a dog' (and now 'just dogs') have got me through some really dark times and have at times literally been life-savers. They are very much my family. And yes they sleep on the sofa and the bed and if people don't like it they know what to do!

Oh and my ds calls the dogs 'his sisters' lol

I'm fond of my two dogs and will miss them when they die - but they are just dogs [runs]

People who haven't loved a dog just aren't complete? Wow.

Would you say that about people who hadn't had children? Or got married?

I will NOT put my dogs outside or lock them away from people... this is THEIR home. I don't do it to my children, why do it to my dogs? If people won't accept that, they aren't welcome in OUR house.

Equally I don't take my dogs to other people's houses unless specifically invited to do so (love my mate A, in whose house my dogs are always welcome!) and I don't expect or ask them to put their children out of my sight, as much as a lot of other people's small children irritate me.

Valhalla, actually this is not an issue now as my children are big enough to negotiate dog pee dribbles on the floor.

But what you say about being not welcome is quite significant to me. I think that perhaps we are not welcome in this persons home and that is why they are not prepared to make short term changes for our comfort. I must add that we have never asked for the dogs to be put away, it was always offered by other family members and great for us when it happened, but the moment that person came back the dog was allowed to roam free.

I always thought that person was a little over-concerned about the dogs feelings with respect to ours and found it rude as I said above. But, but because I'm not a complicated person, I never considered that actually they would be invite us time and time again without us really being welcome.

This is where dogs are better than people: you certainly know how dogs are feeling!

Oh Val you have made me cry (and laugh at your hairy trucker confession).

My DH is out with DS and our two at the moment - tramping across the fields. They will never be 'just dogs' to us. But I am a big old softy when it comes to dogs.

I have two dogs , my beautiful Labradors. Can I tell you my story.

In June 2005 I lost my darling dad to cancer, expected but still devastating. In the November I was hit with crippling reactive depression to my dads death and was signed off work. I would not hardly get out of bed never mind shop etc . (all my kids are grown up so I had no reason to do anything) On new years eve of December 2005 I could not contact my mum, became worried and forced myself to go to her house 15 miles away.......
I had to break in and I found my beloved mum dead in her bed. The shock was horrendous and my depression hit the floor. I was a wreck.....
It was impossible for me to function ...I was bereft with grief.....
My lovely Hubby did not know what to do with me,
On 26Th January 2006 he came in with a little white bundle of 5 week old Labrador. He came from a litter of 11, his mother was ill and he and his 10 siblings were being hand reared, My hubby wanted to help....
"Go on "then said I but don't expect me to help....(I was still in the grip of grief) So when this little bundle needed feeding through the night I was irritated because hubby had to be at work early so I had to deal with it.
Then whilst he was at work it was up to me to cuddle and nurture and clean up after this "bloody pain in the butt".
Within a few days my hubby would often get up for work at 5.30am and find me asleep on the sofa with a puppy fast asleep under my chin or curled up in the crook of my neck.
I swear for three weeks I felt like that bloody mop was an extension of my arm........... but in that three weeks this irritating little puppy became my best-est buddy. He became my focus, he gave me a reason to get up, he needed me, but more than that I needed him.... he would lick my tears away when i cried uncontrollably in grief, he would just quietly look at me with his head on one side as if to say "its OK , you will be fine ""Now let me out I need a poo"
I would sit staring into space, he would bring me his toys and drop them at my feet, If I ignored him he would pick the toy up again and drop it even closer, then a little "yap" which translated into "you will fuckin play or I will chew your foot/slipper/leg of coffee table/empty the bin/ rifle through your handbag/chew the hoover pipe! Its up to you!

He became my best friend. He definitely saved my life. seriously he saved my sanity.
When I returned to work he would ride shotgun with my hubby in his work truck..How he lorded it on the road, barking at police who needed to speak to hubby re accidents he was attending etc .
He soon learned how important my hubbys phone was (he job entails calls from police requiring hubbys help and attendance at accident scenes)and if hubby was away from the truck and the phone went he would howl to let hubby know it was ringing. He never howled if hubby was in the truck with the phone , only when he was away from the truck.
When he was 3 his fathers owner committed suicide, My hubby was a close friend and we had often gone on long beach walks with the friend and his dog so we knew the dog well. After the suicide the family were not able to take on the dog so rather than let him go in a rescue center we took him and we have not looked back since.

Our dogs are wonderful, full of mischief and mayhem, delightful and funny, loyal and faithful, messy and hairy. But you know what, they live here . This is their home too, they go up stairs they sit on the sofa they sun themselves in the garden.
People say we spoil them, maybe we do, but they deserve it. They ask for so little and they have given us so much.
My dog saved my life and my sanity that is with out question.

Just a dog ....... never
Just the best dogs in the world....... definitely

I totally agree if someone said that to me if (god forbid) anything happened to my doggy i would have to refrain from drop kicking them in the face!

I didn't understand the bond between owners and dogs until I got Bruno. He is my fourth child! I've been offered while walking him cash(more money then i paid) on the spot for him (hes a staff their not exactly hard to come by!) I would not sell him for a million pounds it would be like selling one of my children! He's such a loving little thing though I spend half the day cleaning up piss, shit, chewed up toilet rolls and bottles after him I wouldnt change it! No way is he 'just a dog'.

My dog is the reason I didn't kill myself... he's the reason I've smiled again after the grief and pain of the years of slogging on through infertility (shagging gets really fucking boring after 6 years of it) and then discovering I miscarry, then the miscarriages making me even less fertile than I was already.

I've been at points sat on the bathroom floor, surrounded by tablets and wanting to go to wherever there is next - being scared to go out for fear of yet again having my nose rubbed in it as a biological freak, a defective woman or whatever... I went an entire month without leaving the house, barely leaving my bed and just being utterly broken. We were mid-house purchase when hell broke loose with the final miscarriage that broke me, totally abandoned by the NHS who didn't give a fuck, a doctor who didn't care about the psychological state I was in - had to push through with the purchase, had to complete it, had to get out of the cursed house (number 13 and I'm convinced it was a factor)... and then I decided to push on and get the dog I'd wanted to bring a child up alongside anyway - despite that hope and dream being destroyed.

And he made me laugh, and he made me smile, and he made my husband come home with a smile on his face and not the haunted mask of worry he'd been wearing, and he makes me WANT to come home and not sit in the car sobbing and dreading whatever shit walking through the door would bring to kick me further down. And if I cry, even if I pretend to cry, I get this scruffy looking head plonked on my lap, eyes looking up at me desperate to make me smile again - and he does.

So yeah - just a dog... but with more heart, soul, caring and compassion than most humans. If he's just a dog - your child is just another face in the crowd to me.