just not feeling the dog love

[purplebits]

always had dogs as kids who I adored. Now we've got our own. INfact we've ended up with 2 dogs and a puppy. Lately I've really started resenting them. They are starting to turn into another chore and I wouldn't mind doing it all if I did feel something towards them but I don't. I just tolerate them. Plese don't shout and say 'why didn't you think of this before you got a dog?' I honestly thought a bond would grow and I'd grow to love them. Is it different having dogs after you've had kids?

It wasn't different to me. I cannot live without at least one dog. I just can't. I did for about 3 months and I was miserable. ie ventually broke odwn in a snotty heap one night and DH realised how much it was killing me. We brought Devil Dog home that very weekend.

Can you tell us more about it? In what way are they are a chore?

We had dogs growing up, but I didn't have my own dogs until I already had children, then I got my first puppy while I had a baby, so maybe the situation that was likely to have the worst possible outcome.

There are days when I look outside at the weather and feel like I can't be bothered, but I know I have to and when I do get out I love it, it's just forcing myself to actually get out that is sometimes the problem! (we are in rural, coastal Northern Ireland and although it is amazingly beautiful here, the weather is rarely good enough to enjoy it, as it rains almost every day, summer or winter and we are very near the beach, but in three years it has never been warm enough to go and sit at the beach!)

Are the dogs well behaved? I think I would find it hard to live with a dog that wasn't. Have you considered any training classes or something like obedience or agility to help you build a bond with your dogs?

Ok story is one very 'good' dog, one old (10)dog that is really aggressive to other dogs so has to be kept on the lead. Both these are rescue dogs that we've had for the last 2 years and a puppy that is as you'd expect a puppy to be ie chewing, weeing and pooing inside occassionally. Maybe I've taken on too much. I've also got 3 kids under 6. I just don't have the time to give aggressive dog the time he needs to get over his issues. If anything I'd rather invest any spare time in the puppy so I end up just looking after the older dog and not enjoying the experience at all.

Can I ask why you got a puppy when you have an older dog with issues? You should have delt with that first.

Get a trainer in for the older dog and take the puppy to puppy classes.

I had sympathy for you until you said 'If anything I'd rather invest any spare time in the puppy so I end up just looking after the older dog and not enjoying the experience at all' poor dog

What happens when the puppy is no longer small and cute?

There is nothing harder, physically and emotionally, than having a dog aggressive dog (well maybe a dog and human aggressive dog).

Every walk and outside experience is stressful and it is very very hard to at times not hold it against the dog.

You do have your hands full but it is not my position to judge you on the sense of it.

What are your options?

Get some outside help - maybe a dog walker a few times a week to give you more time or a trainer to help with the dogs

Rehome the dogs - the chances for the 10 yr old are not good if he has issues and also older will not likely to get rehomed - however if he was a rescue I would speak to the rescue centre for advice.

Have a break - can you put the dogs in kennels for a weekend recharge, regroup and then try again.

Do ask for help - can some of the other daily tasks be shared so you are not so stretched.

Owning a dog is hard work, owning an aggressive dog is very very hard and unless people have been there they can not understand the strain that it has on a family. Puppies are very hard work and relentless.

As the puppy gets older this will make things much easier and hopefully good dog will rub off on the puppy so you have two good dogs and an elderly dog that just needs a bit of love and care.

Ive got an oldie, 14yr old JRT, and though she still loves running and having fun she is very wary now if a dog she doesnt know runs up to her in a boisterous manner.
Does your oldie have any health issues such as joint pain that may make him/her not want other dogs near? Or maybe just general oldie tiredness/grumpiness? (sure i will be the same at that age!)
You said your older dog came from a rescue two years ago - could you contact them for advice?
I cant advise on the feelings as I love my oldie with all my heart. The young JRT i have is very cute, we do agility etc and I love him but my oldie has my heart.
Sorry dont mean that in a boastful way, just difficult for me to understand and advise on the feeling side.

Thing is even with the 'good' dog and the puppy I just haven't fallen crazily inlove with them like I expected to. Of course they'll stay with me but like I said they have just become something else in the house that needs looking after. I wish I was besotted by them

i am sorry you feel like that purple.

do you think you will enjoy the dogs more when dcs are older and you may have more time?

Perhaps this is more a problem to do with not enough time for you and your own needs - rather than whether or not you can bond with the dogs per se?

If you have 3 children under 6, I imagine you barely get enough sleep let alone time to take some space for you. Could you find a way of addressing this - ie more help domestically with household chores, child care and dog care and from a space of more time for you and your own needs, I think love for everyone/ everything you care for might grow.

I know that I feel most able to 'feel' the love for my DCs and the two cats when I've had time for my own needs. I plan to add a puppy to this family very soon - and in fact have waited a lifetime to do so and woulnd't have considered before now (my twins are 9). Even so, I'm expected life to be very hard for a long time, with a new family member soon and am already looking at how I'll need to adapt my life to accomodate.

No way could I imagine having 2 dogs at this stage! Well done for even looking after the dogs' basic needs but I do echo what others are saying that you get more outside help with the dogs for now and add my own suggestion that you get more general daily help - if you can - with everything domestic.