What shall I do? need a strategy!! Annoying behaviour!!

[polarfox]

I have 3 fab GSDs, they have lovely temperament, very obedient,ideal dogs!!

However, there's a slight problem that I need to solve.. Their complete dependence on me..
I spend most time with them- so I am the one that fees them,plays them, stroke them most of the time. They always follow me around from room to room or anywhere; no problem with that- I love them and want them around..

But sometimes I may have something to do, so I will ask DH to feed them/play them, or the DCs, and thats where it all goes wrong!
They will go without their food/play, and still follow me around waiting till I do it, which sometimes may take a while/is not feasible!

It's getting ridicilous because DH says he wont do it anymore, being fed up with being rejected by the dogs!! And so feel all my other "helpers"..
How do I break this cycle?

The dogs are 8yrs and 3 years old.

I tried to keep some distance from them by keeping them in the kitchen whilst I am elsewhere in the house, and the oldest male started peeing in the same spot in the kitchen I think as a token of disgust in my plan, and the youngest knows how to headbutt doors open so she gets to me eventually!!

Any ideas?

What am I doing wrong?

Or am I stuck with this one?

I'm not sure but I think you need to stick to your guns and get the rest of the family to do as much as possible for the dogs. What happens if you go out and your DH and kids are in?

Polarfox although flattering the dogs must not become dependent on you. It means that they will be unsettled and can cause major separation anxieties. One of your dogs is already showing signs that he is very stresses re the peeing on the floor. Do not tell him off for this ignore and clean with specialist cleaner.

You have to stop them following you around - what this is doing is increasing the dogs anxiety. You must go out of a room shut the door behind you immediately go back into the room and ignore the dogs.

You have to do this until the dogs are lying quietly in their beds and you can leave the room for quite a while and they have not moved.
Build this up gradually.

Get you DH to feed them if they do not eat it after 15 mins pick up the food and let your DH give them their next meal - they well eat when hungry.

It really is almost cruel to make them so dependent on you - what if you had to go into hospital, what if etc etc. The dogs wanting to be with you is not showing greater affection to you but just showing their stress and anxiety. Do work on the above and get them used to being on their own.

Also when you come in from being out do not make a fuss of them for the first minutes of so - this shows them that it is no big deal you come and you go but you still love them all the same!

Then they do go along with it; it's when I am around that they wont cooperate, so if I am in the house they seem to want nothing to do with anyone else - even to their own detriment..

Minimu1 thanks for your reply, it makes sense.

God knows how I ended up making them so anxious and stressed, I feel guilty now!! I thought they were happy dogs.. And I thought they just got more attention from me so they just wanted more.
In truth I have been told they are completely different when I am away eg on holidays!!
I never wanted them to be stressed as I love them to bits!!

I will try all your tips and hope it's not too late as the eldest (that pees when has to sleep away from me) is 8!! (his nickname by family members is mummy's boy!..).
Do you think the damage can be undone/rectified?
The young one is coping him but at least she's younger so maybe thers' more scope?.

I thought naively that german shepherds were a "one person " dog so never really questioned it..

Just a question: if I did all that would they not feel rejected suddenly?

Don't blame yourself you have not made them stressed but maybe have reinforced it a bit. Another dog in the same situation may have reacted in a different way.

How are they different when you co away on holiday?

Definitely not too late dogs are really adaptable and will just think oh Mums less tense today nothing to worry about!

GSD can be one person dogs but that does not mean they must be allowed to become so completely. I had similar issues with a BC of mine who will do anything for me but my DH has to work a bit harder - the solution in our house was that I stopped doing anything for him (the BC that is not the DH!)at all.

It tended to make him work harder for me when I did work him but he still learnt to trust my DH. Thinking about it I may try the same tactic with my DH

The dogs will not in anyway feel rejected - what you are doing is in fact giving them more attention eg from you and your OH and DC's they will get better quality time from you all. They may at first be a bit confused by the new behaviour - However do not worry you will still be the favourite!

Thanks minimu1!

When I go away my stepchildren take it in turns to housesit/dogsit as getting kennels for three of them is not my first choice!
In my absence they will let them feed them and eat with no fussing straight away; they will go with them to play and enjoy it; they do not follow them from roon to room or the bathroom!They are more independent and less demanding.

They minute I get back they won't let that person feed them; they will turn their nose up to their food, won't go with stepchild to play; it's as if they reject them suddenly, which doesn't go down well {shock]. And they only eat if am standing next to them; if I leave the room whilst they are eating they will leave their food, dafties!

The eldest GSD also does another weird thing..he wont go out to the garden unless I go with him. He's 7 stone (not fat, just a massive dog!) and won't bulge! And he will only wee and poo if I am watching him! Maybe I overdid it in praise when I housetrained him

Incidentally my DS is very similar to my dogs (apart from the toileting thankfully!!!) and your BC, so I will be following your advice on dogs and kids!

DH will be happier all around too bless ..