Don't know how to cope but really don't want to give my dog up...

[MaybeTomorrow]

Hi there,

I don't really know what I'm asking for, other than someone to say that it will all be Ok.

I will try and make a very long story, a little shorter.

I have two yellow labs, a four year old bitch who we had from 8 weeks old and an 16 month old dog who we got last April.

Four year old has always been my baby. Never wee'd in the house (lots of running her outside everytime she ate, woke up etc as a pup), only barks when the doorbell goes and has always been very very well behaved. The younger dog came to us via my sister who knew someone that was looking to rehome him. My sister took him in (when she shouldn't have done as she lives in a rented house, works 12 hours a day and had no free-time to walk him as she's also a single-parent to a 5 year old). So she asked if we would take him.

We took him in, took him to the vets to be castrated and chipped, also needed to have all his vaccinations as they had no records of them being done and found out that he'd had his leg broken badly as a puppy and it was left broken for two weeks because the owners couldn't afford to get it fixed. I'm not saying that they didn't love him at all, they just physically had no way of paying. We then got him insured. A lot of expense, but luckily we had some savings!

We had our DD 10 months before we got the other dog and soon after getting the dog, I was diagnosed with PND. I had started a new job a few months before and was really really struggling.

Several months on and I'm at the end of my tether. I work full-time, have a 19 month old DD and two dogs to look after. I work from home (luckily) so I'm with the dogs all day and the dogs love each other dearly. But I'm really struggling with the younger one. I haven't bonded with him at all and just taking them both out for a walk nearly brings me to tears. We swore when we got him that he would never have another home and that we would never give him up, no matter what he does, but I'm really struggling with it. He wees everytime someone comes into the house (excited spraying - not full-on weeing), eats his own and the other dog's poo so I have to constantly monitor him to make sure that he doesn't lick our DD and he jumps up all the time. (Luckily not at all at DD though - she loves him to bits as does DH).

I work 7am-5pm and then do the teatime/bedtime routine so there is no hope at all of getting him to a training class. I just feel totally overwhelmed and guilty all at the same time. I find that I yell at both of them a lot more than I ever did when it was just the bitch. I would never ever hurt them and always feel guilty when I've yelled but I really am struggling to cope. DH is brilliant and offered to do all the walking aswell as his full-time job and most of the housework. He had been doing all the walking until recently when I decided that I needed the exercise and would feel incredibly guilty going out for a walk WITHOUT taking them with me! But the walks sometimes drive me to tears of frustration as they pull me and trip me up!

Can anyone offer any advice? Even it's just to suggest deep-breathing exercises and to tell me that things will get better as he gets a bit older. Giving him up is not an option, as much as sometimes I wish that it was.

Please help!

PS: Also male dog wakes up at 5am every morning yelping and whining and wakes the baby up, so my day starts at 5am. This is even when DH hasn't come up to bed until midnight so he's only gone 5 hours without a wee!

At 16 months our lab was still a terror - puppy behaviour in a fully grown dog is difficult to deal with at the best of times.

It will get easier as he gets older. My lab is 2.2 and is only just starting to settle down. Labradors dont mature fully until much later than other breeds.

Do you know a trainer who takes dogs in and trains them at home. We have one here who takes dogs for 2-4 weeks and does the training, then shows you what to do to keep up the good behaviour before they go home.

I don't really have much advice to offer, but I didn't want to not respond to your post.
I am sure it will get easier, but I also think he has learned a lot of bad behaviour. A dog of that age can go longer than 5 hours without toilet, so I am guessing thats not why he is whining.
The pulling on the lead is something that can be stopped by training, I wish someone would teach my dog not to pull!

The eating of poo, you can try feeding pineapple as thats meant to make it taste nasty (although I imagine it tastes pretty disgusting already!)

For exercise, could you do swimming? Its meant to be really relaxing, not too strenous and you couldn't take the dogs so no need to feel guilty of not taking them.

I really do hope things get better for you and that someone else might come along soon to offer some more practical advice.

Thank you both so much for your posts.

Part of the worry is cost when it comes to training aswell (in relation to the suggestion of finding someone to train him at their home). Apparently our insurance might cover a behaviourist for the weeing (recommended by the vet), but for the actual training, maybe we'll wait until the Summer and see if we can find a suitable class.

Where we lived before (we were only renting) the Landlady and Landlord of our property bred Labs for use as gundogs and used to run training in the Summer for just £1 a session because they loved it so much. Have you seen Marley and me? Well, that was like our bitch. They told us that she was very stubborn and wilful (although very loveable!). When it comes to being off the lead, the new dog is MUCH better than our older dog. He comes back every time we call his name (which isn't something that we're used to!) but finding a suitable place to let him do that when I work such long hours is hard.

Thank you for the suggestions that you've made. I will discuss with DH and consider what we will try first! Thank you again.

Definately consider getting trainer in to do one to one sessions with you. Or have a look online for clicker training tips.

For the pulling on the leash it's best to train them seperately. If they are food/treat orinetated start by clicker training to heel in the house and once they get used to this and are following your command take the training outside.

I have two dogs and was advised by my trainer it's easier if you choose a side for each dog to walk and stick to it. Dog1 was trained to always walk to the left of me so dog2 always walks to the right.

For the jumping up cross your arms and turn your back each time she jumps on, once all four paws are on the ground click and treat.

My adolescent lab was a total nightmare. Like yours he was great off the lead but horrible on it, very rough, used his teeth when jumping up etc. My Mum still describes the time she dog-sat as the worst week of her life.....Sometime around 2 he turned into the hearthrug he is today (aged 9). So my first advice is that he will get better!

Second would be training, training, training. You have 2 advantages he's a lab so should be very food motivated and most labs, even mad adolescents are quick to learn and eager to please (even if he is hiding that bit of his character at present!). The recommendation of many on here is "the complete idiots guide to positive dog training" which is excellent, common sense and easy to follow.

Once trained you will bond I'm sure of it.

Last would be if you can't break the poo eating habit (and I never have with mine) then get him used to a basket type muzzle and get used to saying as people grab their kids and dogs "he's not vicious, he just eats poo".

Doinmecleanin and Batteryhuman, thank you so much for the advice.

We did use clicker training for our bitch, especially with the toilet training and she was excellent.

Don't get me wrong, the new dog is ULTRA-loving and even pushes our older dog out of the way if she's getting a cuddle. He just wants to be loved and I'm thinking that has been severely lacking in his previous homes.

I probably do love him deep down if I'm honest, I just find it really overwhelming with two of them.

As soon as I've told him (them) off, I immediately feel guilty and sad. You're also right about labs being easily trainable. The first thing that we taught him when he arrived, was that he had to wait for his food. We put their bowls in front of them and they have to sit there until we tell them that they can have it - almost torture for labs but of course it's only seconds, but he learnt that within the first 24 hours. I don't know why we stopped there to be honest...

Right. Time to make changes! Thank you all, you've given me the kick up the bum that I needed!

Is there any way you can get a dog walker in?

If you are working full time maybe some help to give him some extra excercise might give you a break

Hi magnolia,

We have thought about that but we can't afford it . Around here they charge about £6 per dog for an hour. Even if we only used them once a week, that's still £50 a month which would pay one of our monthly bills. With their insurance, flea treatment, worming and food, we can't stretch to walkers aswell. Much as I would love it for them to have a lovely run somewhere!

X

maybetomorrow as a fellow sufferer of PND after DD2 was born I can sympathise with you. I know how overwhelming it can make things feel when they would normally just be taken in your stride hugs

I a novice to this whole dog owning business and also understand the financial constraints but agree with the others that you need to see what you can manage with regards to training.

Take your DH up on his offer to walk the dogs and do the housework, walk the dogs when you want to and not because you feel you have to, especially as you have a loving and supportive husband there to help you. This will probably get me shot down in flames but you need to look after you right now, lean on your DH who is willing to take the majority of responsibility for the dogs and work through it.

It will get better with time, both the PND and the dog if you can follow the training advice of the other more experienced posters. Hopefully you will get to the point I have when all it takes is a lick, a cuddle or a look from my puppy to make even the worst days and no sleep a million times better. If you let them, dogs can be better than a crate load of Prozac.

Take Care

If you're anywhere near Colchester I can come and take them out with my dog sometimes?

All,

Thank you all so much for your advice and apologies for the delay in coming back.

I read the additional posts at the weekend and was mortified that I hadn't responded and in particular, to say a massive THANK YOU to Alouiseg!! Thank you so much for your offer, but I am in Torbay, which may be a little bit of a trek. That was such a kind offer though (and if you'd been closer I would have snapped your hand off! ).

Finally had a long conversation with DH and he's decided to take the hard training approach with the dog that we did with our bitch when she was a puppy. She still pulls on the lead but is exceptional in the home. Until now we haven't wanted to tell him off at all because we didn't know what sort of upbringing he'd had. But that hasn't done any of us any good and his bad habits now need to be 'unlearned' and replaced with good ones.

We are definitely taking some of your suggestions into account, in particular the muzzle one for poo-eating. This only seems to be a problem when we're at home (strangely) with him eating his own and our bitch's poo, so he shouldn't need to wear it when we go on walks unless he starts doing it then.

So thank you all so much and I'll be referring to this thread a lot over the next few weeks!

xxx

Define "hard training"

Also could you try walking them separately so you can enjoy your older dog and concentrate on training the newer one?

Or would your sister come over at the w/e and one of you get a good walk while the other plays with the children?

Training walk to heel seperately, even just a few minutes each day. I have mine on the same side so that I have a free hand for DD!

Could you put weeing dog in a different room before you open the door to visitors?
Hang in there, he's still a stupid adolescent...