Away for one night, what would you do?

[musicposy]

Hi there, we have been invited by friends to a New Year's Eve party and stay overnight in a hotel about 30 miles from us.

I agreed and have paid for it but am now regretting it a little because of the worry of leaving Poppy (she's 8 months). We have an 8 year old sheltie who we've left overnight before with no problems, but Poppy is much more needy and gets distressed if she's left for any length of time. I've contacted all the reputable places we know and there's no availability. So, assuming we go, we have 2 options and I'm wondering which people think is best.

We can leave her at home. I go at about 5pm and DH, who is working that night, gets in by 6am. My mum is happy to come and feed both dogs and let them out at about 8pm. We can put puppy pads down for Poppy who won't be able to hold on all those hours. However, I strongly suspect she will whine and cry all night, especially if there are fireworks. Plus we have really arsey neighbours one side and I wouldn't put it past them to report us if they hear her.

A friend of mine, a lady in her 60s, has offered to have Poppy for the night. I think this is possibly the better option. She will definitely make a fuss of her and give her lots of attention. However, Poppy will need to sleep downstairs on her own because friend's cats sleep upstairs. So she will be in a strange place, kind of alone. Also, DH cannot go round at 6am (!) so I will have to collect her later in the day, leaving a potentially longer time.

Which do you think will be better for Poppy?

is there no-one that can stay in your house overnight?

where does she usually sleep at night?

my 5 month old sleeps downstairs in his crate at night and goes into it for teh nigh usually about midnight and comes out at 7 am. if i was going out for the night i would get someone to stay over.

Haha, she usually sleeps on our bed (that's a whole other issue all of my own making!). She does have a dog bed, though, which she likes well enough, just not as much as ours! I can't get anyone to stay here because everyone has plans for NYE except my parents. They will come and feed etc but I know they won't stay; it would be too much for them, plus they have their own dog to consider. They won't have Poppy there - I have asked. They find her too tiring.

well, i can't see her staying downstairs at the friend's (strange to her)house will be any less traumatic for her tbh. yes she will be fussed over in teh evening and morning but overnight she will be alone without your other dog for comfort or familiarity.

not sure what i would do tbh.

You can't just leave a dog alone for that length of time. For a start, it's legally questionable under the Animal Welfare Act and for another, apart from the fact that it won't be good for neighbourly relations, it's clear that your dog has seperation anxiety and will suffer if left for a long period of time.

I really do recommend that you accept your friend's offer. Can she not be persuaded to pop her cats in the sitting room/kitchen for one night and have your dog upstairs with her? Or can you beg borrow or steal a crate for your friend's house and put your girl in there so that both dog and cats are content?

I doubt if you are in East Anglia but if you are nearby and all else fails I shan't be going anywhere on NY Eve *because I have dogs to care for amongst other reasons!) and would happily offer to care for her overnight offering references, hugs and 3 canine playmates!

Have I really understood what you're saying correctly?

That you have left a dog alone in your house overnight before and are considering doing it again with 2 of them? An 8 year old dog and a needy, stressed 8 month old?

I'm really, really shocked. Especially as it's just so you can go out and have a good time. Dogs need company and care - not leaving alone for over 12 hours. You even seem to know it's wrong as you fear your neighbours will report you.

You need to make arrangements which put both the dogs first. Not you and your night out.

Either a dog sitter, or staying with friends/parents or even a kennel. Not left alone at home for the entire night. Ever.

Music - this problem is entirely solveable but you are going to have to put your hand in your pocket. Let your fingers do the walking and pick up a Yellow Pages - these days there are a whole plethora of dog sitters, home dog boarders who can either have your dogs overnight in their own home or will come and stay at yours. Good ones will have references, insurance and CRB checks. Your neighbour is also most kind, will she be having the 8 year old as well? Ask around your friends or neighbours - do any of them have a reliable older teenager (say home from uni for holidays) who is willing to come in and dog sit?

Have you also considered taking the dogs with you? Some hotels do accept dogs. These days, NYE is nearly as bad as Guy Fawkes night for loud fireworks and other posters are right - your dogs should not be left alone for that length of time.

Genuinely, if they are your only two options, then it's easy, you can't go.

Otherwise agree with Scuttle, look for some adequate care you can pay for, if everything isn't already booked up, you might struggle to find a teenager willing to stay in on new years eve.

I am surpised that you would even consider leaving them alone overnight tbh, I cannot imagine ever doing it except in a dire, life or death type emergency.

I have no life wouldn't leave my dogs alone for that amount of time. Especially on new year's eve with the likelihood of fireworks going off etc.

You need to either find someone to stay overnight with them/that they can go to (the lady with the cat sounds lovely but the cat/sleeping downstairs situation is not ideal) or cancel your night out and stay in.

I would rather stay in with my dogs personally. Much better company than most people.

MN makes me chuckle. When I'm direct, people react in shock and horror yet when I'm a little more subtle, others come along and say it as it is for me. :o

Bottom line musicposy, it's plain wrong, don't do it, even if that means that you have to leave DH at home stay home.

BTW apologies to anyone who may have got the wrong idea about me. I didn't read the OP properly and thus didn't realise that there are two dogs to deal with. Naturally I wouldn't advocate leaving either at home and my offer stands to both dogs if you are in East Anglia and can get them to me. Rather 5 in my house than 2 alone in yours.

Ok, before I am too badly flamed, first dog at home has been left before absolutely fine. I probably didn't make it clear in my first post but parents live next door in an adjoining house - we have a gate and door through into theirs , etc, so it's not "alone" or in a different house in the way you might be imagining. If there are any problems they can be straight in - they can hear just as if you were in a big house. They know our elder dog has been absolutely fine and happy like this before - we've done it with him in the past because it seemed kinder than kennels and he seemed very much happier than when we tried them. Plus, we're talking about maybe 8 hours unattended here (which I agree is too much but lots of people do do it - it's just that we personally don't).

However, that aside, it's the puppy I'm worried about, because I don't want her to get distressed. And I'm not worried at all about putting my hand in my pocket as others have said. I don't care what it costs to keep her happy. I've called every reputable kennel and dog sitter I know and they are all full or busy themselves. Our puppy training lady also tried to find someone - with no luck. This is why I'm wondering now whether to go. And I'm not worried the neighbours will report us because I fear it's wrong - the neighbours report everything. If she barks for 5 minutes, they will report us.

I can't really see how her going to a friend is different to going to a pet sitter/ dog boarder/ kennels. Surely even they wouldn't let her sleep on their bed? Surely even then she'd be in a strange place while the owner slept? Surely a kennels are a far worse option than either of mine?

However, if someone can explain the difference to me, I'm more than willing to listen.

I will cancel the night out if it comes to it, because my dogs are far more important to me. But please don't flame me - if I was the kind of owner who didn't care an enormous amount about my dogs, I wouldn't have been asking in the first place. I agreed to the night out because the breeder had originally said she would have her for the night (it's somewhere familiar), but now she can't. It's not just that I'm swanning off to have fun and not caring. But I will cancel if the concensus on here is it's the only option. My friends who don't have dogs and therefore think I'm being utterly precious over them, will probably never speak to me again for letting them down, but that can't be helped!

Depends on the person, musicposy. My own dogs sleep on my bed and if I had a visiting who was used to doing so he/she would as well, as have several foster dogs I've had over time. If necessary I would sleep on the sofa and have all the dogs scattered about sleeping on/with me, on the other sofa, in their own beds beside me or whatever it took. But then I'm daft like that... :o

Anyway, is the idea of a crate in your friend's room or the cats downstairs for one night and dogs upstairs impossible?

Also, remember that if left your mum will come in at 8pm but surely your friend won't go to bed til later than that and will be up at a reasonable time so your dogs will not be without company for too long while the lady sleeps. And I do mean dogS, you cannot leave either, it really isn't acceptable and it really could be considered criminal neglect under the Animal Welfare Act.

If you'd care to tell me your area I can see if I can identify or recommend a reputable pet sitter.

Pah! I keep doing this, must learn to preview. I meant "... if I had a visiting dog... " of course.

"If necessary I would sleep on the sofa and have all the dogs scattered about sleeping on/with me, on the other sofa, in their own beds beside me or whatever it took. But then I'm daft like that... "

You're not the only one... I've stopped allowing my own dogs in the bedroom because of impending arrival of DC but any excuse ("ooh it's my heartburn, I'm better off on the recliner") to sleep on the sofa with the dogs. I am actually terrible.

Music, did not flame/make judgement. I wouldn't personally leave my dogs in kennels overnight - the youngest is very nervous with people she doesn't know well - so I appreciate you are finding it difficult to come up with a solution. My non-dog owner friends think I am precious about mine as well but we know better, so stuff them if they will never talk to you again for making sure your dogs' wellbeing is catered for!

If your Parents live next door in an ajoining house, why can't they have the dogs to stay or stay at your house and take care of the dogs?

I have to agree with the others (and I almost posted last night when I saw this but thought I'd give myself time to calm down!) that neither option you mention is suitable.

If it were me, I'd cancel my plans to go out (actually, I wouldn't ever have plans like this to go out, precisely because of my dogs) and if my friends fell out with me about it because they thought I was being precious about my dogs, then they could sod off. Some people might think I am oprecious about my dogs, bjt my friends, even non doggy ones, simply realise I take my dog owning responsibilities very seriously and that includes the fact that my dogs must cime before most people.

Wow, I never realised a pet sitter might allow that. The breeder had her a night in the summer and let her sleep with her but I didn't know anyone else would.

Val, we are staying in the Brighton area (it's not where we live but I would prefer to take her with us so as to limit the time she is left).

My friend might have her upstairs in the crate, yes. I will ask.

Could it really be criminal neglect to leave my elder dog when my parents are virtually onsite? Really? I would hate it to be thought I wasn't doing the right thing by him. We could set up a baby monitor - and did once in the past until they were certain he was happy. So they would hear straight away if he was even remotely distressed.

It's not that I mind paying out at all for him to go to a dog sitter too. It's just that he seems to prefer being where he knows. He hates strange places, doesn't like strange people. We take him on holiday with us but he doesn't like it much even with us there - he is always desperate to get home. Whenver we pop out, Poppy is straight in the car but he runs and gets in his crate. We often take him in the car for walks, but he's always desperate to get home. He seems to feel secure here and nowhere else. We got him at 16 weeks before we knew anything about good breeders, and realised afterwards he had not been socialised at all at far too old an age - just kept in a cage, really. I would never have got him from the breeder knowing what I know now. However, upshot is, that though he is a lovely, lovely dog, and very devoted to all of us, he gets very stressed with outsiders and dislikes being out of the house.

That's why we've always made the decision we have, given that parents are in earshot of him at all times. it's not because I'm too tightfisted/ mean/ lazy to find another solution - it's because it has seemed to be genuinely the best thing for him. I would be very worried about putting him with anyone else and then I think the decision would be made for me and I'd have to not go (which I am thinking of doing!). Whereas Poppy is a friendly little dog and loves people and new adventures in general!

"If your Parents live next door in an ajoining house, why can't they have the dogs to stay or stay at your house and take care of the dogs?"

Well, that's what I'm trying to persuade them of! There's time yet! But they have their own dog and they say he won't like it (he might not). Plus, they might have our sheltie in there at a push, but they definitely won't have our puppy - mum says she's too boisterous. They are in their 70s and mum isn't 100% fit, so I can sort of see why they won't - although I wish they would!

I have 2 dogs too

One of them would be far happier to be left at home overnight alone than go anywhere he didnt know

while the other one would need to sleep in someones/anyones bed

I personally would not distress/upset my dog because of some threat of criminal neglect

I am going away for a night and will leave my older dog at home with the cat, the neighbours will check on them and my other dog will go to my friends house and sleep in her bed

It is the best solution to suit my pets

OP if you cant get someone to take Poppy and let her sleep in their bed, I think you will have to cancel the night out

But best of luck with finding someone as I'm sure Poppy would love the adventure

I think you are being irresponsible to plan to leave them alone overnight at all, and especially so over new year when there will be fireworks going off.

Anybody else want to spend NYE at Vals? Comfy sofa, dogs to cuddle, I'll bring the wine.... Sounds much more appealing than making small talk all evening and fighting for the last taxi north of the Equator!!

I'll be there if I can bring my hounds.

:)

That'd be fun. :)

val your bed must be humungous!!

i had 5 month old WB in the bed last night aswell as kitty no1 and dses aswell, my bed is a kingsize and it was cosy even then!!

LotteryWinners, thank you so much, that was a very kind offer. Sorry for not answering sooner - I was trying to organise stuff this end first :)

We are sorted now, though. Parents will have sheltie in there, though I think they will see how he goes here with the baby monitor first - I'm happy with that because he's on familiar territory and with familiar people, which is important for him.

Brother and girlfriend have said they will have puppy if necessary and she can sleep on their bed! But as they already have their own dog on their bed they wanted me to first ask friend again after Christmas if she can have puppy upstairs, which I will do. If she says no, I have a fall back.

Thank you mners for making me look at the issue again and see sense. Sometimes you need a bit of straight talking. :)