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The doghouse

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Original poster

Feeling really guilty - tell me it's ok?

10 replies

BelieveInLife · 15/12/2010 18:00

Just looking for some reassurance that in the short term this is ok...

We've got two beautiful family dogs, 3 years old (goldies), one toddler and another baby on the way.

Now in my second trimester and have been ill constantly for last 4 mths, morning sickness, nasty d&v bug, 2 colds and now flu.

DH works from home but very long hours and is helping out loads but needless to say managing the dogs and a toddler in this weather with me very much 'out of action' is a big struggle.

Some days they are not getting a walk at all, others just one walk.

Feel really guilty that the quality of their life is not very good at the moment. They seem ok, no problems because of any of this but it's so hard :(

It's crossed my mind to rehome them because I feel so bad for them, but I know it's only short term and I know I could never let them go. When I'm feeling better and next year when the weather turns and the new baby arrives it'll all be fine.

We are at home with them all day every day sothey have company, and each other, so that's the important thing right?

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 15/12/2010 18:02

It's not the best, of course, but it's not the worst either. I have to admit that my collie isn't getting the exercise she should atm, the weather's just been so atrocious. :(

Original poster

BelieveInLife · 15/12/2010 18:07

Also, although we're home, they're downstairs on their own a lot.

Like now, I'm in bed, DH is doing bath and bedtime and will then have to catch up on work for a few hours so they'll be down on their own all evening.

Just feel sooooooo guilty, they deserve better and are such easy going loving dogs :(

OP posts:

minimu1 · 15/12/2010 18:13

You poor thing you are really going through the mill. But first thing is to stop feeling guilty!

It is not ideal - could you get a dog walker in a few days a week

to ease you guilt and then you will get better quicker
the dogs would love it
one less thing for OH to have to do

Maybe a friend who you could maybe return the favour when you are all up and running again or a professional walker.

Get well soon! This two will pass

minimu1 · 15/12/2010 18:14

obviously I did not mean two - ruddy predicted text!

Solo2 · 15/12/2010 18:39

I second the idea of getting a dog walker - even an unpaid person might love to walk two goldies. When I was a child, I befriended all the local people with dogs JUST so I could be around their dogs and walk them.

Might there be other dog lovers nearby who would want to do the same eg a 14 to 17 yr old (presuming your goldies are good with walking on a lead) who might not be allowed their own dog but adore dogs - like I did?

Perhaps you could ask around, depending on the kind of neighbourhood you live in.

Anyway, I wouldn't feel guilty. You're coping with so much and there are lots of other dogs out there who aren't as lucky to have such a caring owner.

Original poster

BelieveInLife · 15/12/2010 18:45

Thanks so much for not flaming me, you've made me feel loads better.

We live a bit out in the sticks but there is a neighbour who might be able to manage them (not great on the lead but we live opposite fields so he'd only have to get them over the road!).

I think I might get DH to go and knock on his door tomorrow.

I wouldn't mind paying a dog walker either actually, maybe I'll put an ad up at the local post office, especially with it being school holidays.

I just always worry about burdening people with things, I've just apologised a million times to my Mum that she's had to do my ironing again this week!

I remember a thread on here a while ago by someone in a similar situation with a newborn and everyone told her the most important thing to a dog is to have company and just to have you around so I keep trying to reassure myself with that thought.

Thanks again.

OP posts:

oxocube · 15/12/2010 19:45

My ds (15) dog walks for someone I know through school. He walks at least 3 times every week for her and sometimes, like this week, every day. He walks for an hour each time and I often go with him taking our goldie. They have a blast. Its cold work in this weather but its pocket money for my ds

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 15/12/2010 20:00

I am in the same situation minus DCs. Heavily pregnant and DP is away for work. A brand new cold has set in with a vengeance and I am unable to walk my two staffies who are around the same age as your dogs, but they seem happy enough at home with me. I am playing games with them (from the sofa!) and they are such homebodies, they really don't seem to have noticed that they haven't been for a walk today.

I can't afford a dog walker and my friends who have made promises of "oh I can walk the dogs with you when DP is away" (can't walk them alone and pregnant anyway as one is a lunger on-lead at I have no stomach muscles to speak of) are being completely crap. I'm trying not to feel guilty but I know how you feel. It is only temporary so don't feel guilty (telling myself as much)! They are happy just to be around you, even if you can't walk them/give them much attention, and like you said, they have each other. :)

oxocube · 15/12/2010 20:06

My ds charges half what a proper dog walker would charge (and, in my opinion gives a better service) so it may be worth looking at a high school teenager if money is tight. You have to find someone trustworthy though who really loves animals.

Sorry your friends aren't being more help but like you say, it's a temporary thing.

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 15/12/2010 20:16

They are quite difficult to handle dogs though, I wouldn't feel comfortable with them being walked by a teenager. One is DA with larger dogs, and he is the one who is always on the lead. The other is extremely nervous and I doubt she'd go with anyone she didn't know anyway! Plus her reactions may be affected negatively purely by being out with someone she doesn't know well, putting her in a bad position. I have to factor in the fact that they are staffies and if something did go wrong (ie, large dog off-lead approaching my DA dog on-lead and a fight breaking out) the fact that they are staffies just means they often get the blame by proxy - "couldn't possibly be the big soppy family lab that attacked him, your dog is a staffy and they're vicious" - well my boy is a family dog and just as soppy, but a breed that people love to hate! Bit of a rant there, but you get my point. :)

I think they're rather enjoying being spoilt with cuddles on the sofa, and the pigs in blankets I've cooked up for them that they are having as treats to absolve my guilt. ;)

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