How to ease the relationship between new pup and 1 yr old DC

[Belgrano]

Hi
I have just got a new puppy. She is very sweet and is 12 weeks old. She's a lab. I have a 3 yo who is lovely with the pup and a 1 yo who is struggling. He is non verbal yet, he's 16 months and just cries all the time when he sees the pup and wants to be held. It doesn't help that we have stairs down to the gardn so I have to carry the pup up and down every hour to wee. I think he sees this as me having a 'new baby' in my arms. He scratches at her back and pinches her and bites her (obv I try not to let him but sometimes it happens e g if I am busy washing DD's hands or something like that).

She hasn't done anything at all in response but he does a flapping thing with his hands which means 'get away from me' and obv to a pup this means 'play with my flapping hand' so she sometimes uses a paw or teeth on the flapping hands in a playful way.

I find it hard to discipline either as its all about tone of voice with both of them, and neither dog nor babe can understand who has done wrong when I do the stern 'no, DON'T do that' routine. Usually baby ends up crying inconsolably even if it was the puppy I was telling off for nipping at him so he gets nipped and then told off and then hates the dog even more!!!

I can see his point - 'Mummy has a weird new baby who is on the floor where it used to be only me, and this baby nicks my toys, tries to grab at things I am carrying, occasionally jumps up and to top it all she has hair, teeth and claws and when she hurts me I get yelled at!!!'

So help! What to do?? Anyone cracked this one before? I can't be the only one to do dog and toddler. I am also moving house next week - trying not to think about that too much....gah.

I have a 4yoDS A 14month DD and a 1yo pup?.

DD loves the dog but she does not give him any peace so we have safety gates in between the rooms so the dog can get some peace and I can watch them closely together.

DS was 3 when we got the dog and he was scared of him so I waited till the puppy was asleep and let ds inspect him.

The third problem if I am shouting at the dog I hug DD and if I am telling one of the kids off I stroke the dog.

So did you get a new pup when your DD was tiny then? How old? How did you manage the crawling stage with the filthy 'puppy covered in mud cos its out every hour in the garden' floor....??
Oh good, its great to hear from people who have done this before. Everyone just keeps telling me how mad i am which doesnt help at all! Thank you for your helpful advice x

My DD was 6 weeks when I got our Labrador I did it because I was badly mauled by a dog as a child and as a result was terrified and my fear was rubbing off on DS we had been considering getting one for about two years and then we realized we had run out of time if I had of let ds go much longer he would have been to scared to overcome it.

Yes when DD was crawling I spent thousands getting wooden floor put through out so I could clean up after the pup.To be honest some days it drove me nuts but I had fell in love with our dog as had DS and we just put up with it and managed as best we could. DD is gentil for her age but everyday I sit down and spend 30minutes with her and the dog very closely supervising. The biggest problem I have is dd will take her food and let our Lab eat it out of her hand and when he has taken a bite she tries to have a bite of the food ewwwwwww.

She also likes to pick up his toys and have a nibble before passing it to him. I have to be honest it has been very hard work for about 6 months I did not get a moments peace. But things are much easier now a year on.

Yes my DS and pup seem to share a lot of licks on toys and snacks, its pretty revolting! He holds it, sucks on it, she licks it, he sucks again, she goes outside and eats cat poo from the garden, comes back and does it all again. UGH!!

Also how on earth to persuade dog to stay in her designated rooms? She goes mental when i leave to go up and put kids to bed or watch tv etc. She has actually leaped over a 3 foot hight fireguard which I've made into a barrier accross the doorway twice to get to me. When not leaping, she cries and yelps like mad.

I brought up puppy and baby together and am convinced it is the reason for DS3's phenomenal immune system all that crawling around in the dirt.

Batteryhuman at least there are some positives