Getting out and about with a newborn advice and/or instil confidence into me please!

[LittleLemonPie]

Hi there,

Just looking for some friendly advice and reassurance.

I am a second time mum, oldest is 13 years old and my little one is nearly 6 weeks so big gap and sometimes feel it’s my first time again.

The advice I’m looking for is I would like to get out and about with my little one but need to build up the confidence.
I want to attempt going a small food shop soon with him in a baby wrap. I’ve practice in the house and he seems to like it and fall asleep.
He only goes about 2hrs inbetween feeds so I’d have to time it well.

Any advice from anyone who felt nervous doing things like this with their newborn? I’m nervous he gets really upset, hes fairly content little baby but I’m just anxious about going out first time.
I had an emergency section with my oldest and my recovery was long and hard so I didn’t get out and about much with him as soon as I’d of wanted too, so it’s all a bit new.

thank you for taking the time to read 😊

Have you not been out of the house yet? That is a bit sad. I just put mine in the pram and off we went. Plus we had to go in the car first. I would have gone stir crazy at home. If he cries, he cries. You will be home soon enough. I fed mine in ladies loos if necessary. Surely popping to a shop isn’t a big expedition? Take what you might need with you. My other dc was 2 so she needed me to take her to things so baby came too! Eg nursery! Your 13 year old is more self sufficient so you have not been forced out! Just do it and see how it goes.

The first few trips are so nervy aren't they!

I think the biggest thing is to time it when you're not tired yourself, so you don't get frazzled if they cry. Pick somewhere with a nappy changing area, a toilet for you, and a nice little coffee shop for a treat.

Best of luck. ❤️

Not a very empathetic response.

OP, I totally get it. The first trips out can be tough! But once you’ve done it a few times it gets way easier. And with breastfed babies who feed constantly it can feel daunting! A small food shop sounds like a good idea, or what about going out for a coffee and cake or something — maybe an iced one if wearing the wrap! - and then you know you’ll have a toilet to change the baby in if needed and can feed them in the coffee shop? The more you do it the easier it gets.

And also no need to feed baby in the loo as PP said. Boobs aren’t shameful!

Thank you for all your responses.

@OhDear111 We have been out the house on almost daily walks with the pram and have been to my mums house for lunch.
I was meaning more about being in public alone for longer than 30mins with him needing fed very regularly etc. I suppose taking a bottle ready even for a food shop would come in handy.

@deepbreathseveryone Thank you, think because I’m a bit of an anxious person anyways makes me bit more nervous. I know once I’ve done it I’ll be fine after. Thank you ☺️ the wee coffee shop treat is a good idea! ❤️

@chateauneufdupapa thank you, yeah I think I just need to do it and I know I’ll then think I was worrying for nothing lol.
Thank you ☺️ xx

@LittleLemonPie Well if yoy are not breast feeding it’s pretty easy! Just find a seat and off you go. Plus crying a bit won’t hurt him! Feed him when you get back. Set off after a feed and you have 2 hours. You just have to try and hope he sleeps most of the time. He probably will.

I don'r think bottle feeding is any easier when you're trying to juggle leaving the house @OhDear111. I'm sure you don't mean it but your replies are leaning towards harsh practicality instead of empathy.

OP I think once you do it a few times it'll be second nature. Conversely it was the time it all went wrong that helped my confidence! I was so nervous waiting for mine to be hungry or cry or have a blow out, that when all of the above happened and we survived it took the fear away.

I actually think it's easier when they're awake when they're out, so they nap and give you a break when you're home!

I think you just need to accept that if he does cry - it doesn’t matter, you just try to soothe (as you would at home anyway, particularly if already in the sling) - and then head home.

I have many, many a time walked back home to the sounds of a screaming infant…!

I found the pram easier than the sling when shopping: you won't behoeve how many things are on the bottom of to shelf when you're carrying a baby! If your shop has handscanners you can pack shopping into the pram as you go. Mine always liked the shop, I think it was the lights. The other tip is try to remember not to rock the trolley if you take one ;) you can normally find little old ladies to pull faces and distract the baby too.

I hoe you start to feel better and enjoy the improving weather

@deepbreathseveryoneWell I guess I am not really seeing the problem. If you don’t try and keep worrying, it doesn’t help anyone. Empathy tends to agree that not going to the shops is ok. Having a normal life is just healthier. Might be a bit tough love but mums cannot always breastfeed anywhere. Bottle feed, they more or less can. Pram is easier if ok to go into a shop with it. Many babies do have to fit into life, and they do just fine.

I suspect you're over thinking it and that's building up the anxiety. Just do it, chuck a few bits in the bag, a few spare nappies, wipes etc, change of outfit, muslin and a ready made bottle in an insulated container and head out. If he cries, he cries, it's what babies do! For the first few times perhaps take the sling and pushchair until you get your confidence.

Remember you've dealt with toddlers. Potty training, public tantrums , the full excruciating of parenting. A teddy bear sized bundle that cries something is nothing to be afraid of.

Hi OP.
My LO is 9 weeks and I totally get what you mean.

I think some of the responses are a bit tone deaf.
Leaving the house is a bit nervy, but start small.
I would say -
know what you’re going for
know that you can leave, if you need or want to

I baby carried and did small shops, and my LO slept the whole time and didn’t feed or root for feeding until we got home.

people will also want to admire your baby, I found during the day all the oldies
would ask questions and generally be quite sweet.

Build up to further away trips. That’s what I’m doing.

i hate my baby crying, but sometimes in the car they cry, and it cant be fixed until you are somewhere you can stop. If they are already safe, then they can cry until you are safe
to see to them.

you can do it. And you are doing a great job

@OhDear111women can literally breast feed anywhere, bottle feeding needs 2 hands and preferably a table. Breast feeding is just a confidence thing to do out with no hands.

The first trip like this is always hard! And it really does depend baby to baby!
you’ve just got to remember that probably the worst thing that can happen is baby gets upsets and needs feeding. I’ve left a full trolley in a supermarket before to go feed, and then gone back to find it afterwards.
could you go to a supermarket that you know has parent and child spaces, and a good selection of trolleys. I found in the early days I preferred the newborn seat trolleys than the car seat trolleys.

you’ll smash it! And treat yourself to something nice afterwards

Do you have a car? I used to think of my car as an extension of my house and could retreat to it if needed to breastfeed or if the baby was crying and couldn’t be consoled.
As my confidence increased I worried less and was able to do more.

Thank you for all the support 😊
I know once I’ve done it, it will be fine. And true the time things don’t go as plan and I deal with it will boost confidence for the next time.

Just nice hearing others felt its little nervy for first time, maybe not for everyone but we are all different as people.

Thanks everyone ❤️

That first time is a bit stressful! I took my newborn (five days old) out to lunch with my DH and a couple friends and he needed feeding. I just did it at the table discreetly and I don’t think many people noticed or cared. After that I was happy to go out on my own and not worry if he needed feeding. I’ve fed him in a café, in the car, in a lovely big nursing area in a department store toilets. In fact the only problem I had was being stuck in an airport before security and there was absolutely nowhere to sit to feed my (second) baby.
Just wait til you have a poo tsunami in the middle of a shop! Ah, fun times!

I was nervous the first few times! My baby is five months and have screamed her head off in the trolley but other times she’s good as gold. I use an Ergobay carrier when im
out as have just preferred it to the wrap this time. And I often feed in the car before I go in - or afterwards. First time is nervy but people are so helpful. I had many lovely ladies pack my bags for me when eldest was wailing - everyone will be so friendly and helpful. Good luck

What a load of nonsense, you can breastfeed anywhere at all!

While you can feed your baby anywhere (and it's perfectly fine to do so), the front passenger seat of a car is quite a comfortable and private place to do so in the early weeks when everything is feeling quite new and you're both getting the hang of it.

I do think getting your head around feeding your baby while you're out is the key here: the gaps between feeds aren't really long enough to do much. Once you have a plan for when they inevitably get hungry then perhaps you'll feel more confident?

Yeah I think once the stretches between feeds are little longer it will be little bit less pressure.

@OhDear111 im not by any means asking for people to agree by telling me not to go to the shops and that im not having a ‘healthy normal life’
It was only for some advice from anyone who had felt bit nervous first time venturing out and about in public.
It’s great some people don’t feel that way going into public for the first time.

Anyways thank you to everyone for reading and replying and sharing your experiences too! Xx

I think because a food shopping etc isn’t a baby focused trip out made me think too much of it, unlike meeting someone for a coffee that can be more of a baby focused trip out which I wouldn’t feel as worried about a coffee meet up.

I know once it’s done I will feel good about it.

Me & little one went to aldi today! All went well, I know it’s not a big deal for many but I’m so glad we did it, first lone shopping trip done now so don’t need to feel as anxious next time ☺️

Thank you again for everyone’s support and understanding 💕

Honestly, it’ll feel better each time you do it

That's amazing news!! These things are so daunting until they're done. ❤️ Hope you got yourself a sweet treat while you were there.

I got everything that I needed for the trip rrady before the feed and then fed and went straight out. This maximised the time I could have out without thinking about feeding. I liked to walk to town go in a couple of shops and walk home again with the pram.
It will be fine once you’ve done it once and then you’ll get a routine going.