new sleep routine for 20 month old - what would you do?

[ralsta]

so currently we’re awake at 6:30am - my alarm is set for then and my other alarm (my 4 year old) usually bursts into the room then

i co sleep with my daughter currently as want to try and just get her sleep a bit better before i add another thing to the mix

so our day is like this -

wake 6:30am
nap 12-2pm
bed 7/7:30pm

so she does spend say 15-20 minutes sometimes to get off to sleep. i feed her to sleep (again another thing i will phase out soon) depending on how her days been she does wake a few times but settles herself but the majority of the time she wakes and the only way to get her back off is feeding her to sleep. some nights are awful and she’s never slept through fully

i’m just not sure whether she’s tired enough?! i’ve tried cutting her nap down but i really feel like she needs that 2 hour sleep

today im trying

wake 6:30am
nap 11:30-1:30pm
bed 8pm

if anyone has any advice of thinks i should do something different let me know

I hate to say it but it’s highly likely it’s the feeding to sleep that’s causing the wakes here. I fed both of mine to sleep and co slept and it’s a lovely thing to do bonding wise but ultimately in order to get a full nights sleep out of them (if that’s what you want) is to stop the reason for the wakes in the first place. If she wakes up and nothing happens she will stop bothering. At the moment she’s waking and getting a lovely milky cuddle - who wouldn’t choose that if they could 😂

@NoItsStillNighttimeDarling urghhhhhh i knew it but didn’t wanna hear it 😭😭😭

i tried weaning her at night not long ago but then she started getting her molars and was SCREAMING the place down when i tried to distract her or say no

It’s really hard isn’t it - both because you don’t want them to be upset and you also know it’s the quickest and easiest way to get back to sleep yourself!

In my experience once you decide to do it you need to make a plan and then stick to it so that they have a really clear boundary. For one of mine I gradually reduced the feed hour by hour so night 1 didn’t feed until after midnight then 1am on night 2 then 2am etc etc. The other one was a bit older and a total boob monster and I had to just go cold turkey as it was too confusing for him. He cried and cried but I just soothed him in any other way that I could and told him (and myself 😂) that I was doing this for his own good and that I was always there to love him and look after him but there was no more milk at night anymore. It was awful for a few nights but doesn’t take that long really. The key is being absolutely determined because if you’ve any doubt about whether it’s the right thing you will cave and feed which is ultimately just really confusing for them xx