3 yo and 8 month old sleeping hell

[Camzarella]

Morning. It's 5.30am and I've had precisely 2hrs and 54mins of sleep 😭

I have a 3 nearly 4 year old boy and 8 month old baby girl. Since I started showing in my pregnancy just over a year ago, my very observant ds who had been a good sleeper has begun to wake up every night and come in to our bed.

Over the last couple of weeks, hubby and I have been prepping him to transition back in to his room by taking him to choose new bedding, cuddly toy and decorative bits. Then this weekend he stayed with my parents while we moved his cot in to our room for baby and set up a new desk, rug, bookcase, posters and nightlight for him. We got rid of all the clutter from his room (we're in a flat so we use the space for storage also) and have made it a lovely child friendly bedroom.

It's night 2 and I'm ready to unalive myself 😭. Between his anxiety night wakings and her teething, it's a nightmare. A big issue is that he won't allow us to close the door and as our flat is so small, he hears when she fusses for a dream feed. We've tried closing it once he goes off, but find that startles him when he's turning in his sleep. I can't win.

I'm worried how he'll manage at nursery today and how hubby will cope at work. I'm still on mat leave so can sleep if and when baby naps today but hubby will be shattered.

It's hell. An actual living hell.

Just hoping for any tips, wisdom or advice.

Also to ask/ add:

• He falls asleep with nightlight, won't sleep without some type of light, but I'm not sure if this caudes him to wake, however when he wakes in darkness his is terrified. Any tips around this?

• Shall I abort mission until the weekend to not disrupt his nursery time?

• I have a consistent bedtime routine with him of dinner, tidy up, bath, story, sleep. He goes off fine but it's the night waking that's an issue

• I've tried a later bedtime to no avail.

• I've got a sticker reward chart, which he likes but all that goes out the window at 1am

• I've tried offering a present if he does one full night in bed. No joy.

Please please any support welcome. TIA x

I wouldn’t quit now as you’ve started and it’ll send the wrong message. I’m assuming you’ve tried this but as a gradual approach could one of you sleep in there with him for a night or two while he gets used to his new room? Not sure if this is effective but it would send the message that he should stay in his room (and you come to him rather than him coming to you).

on the light, have you tried a Lumie or similar that has soft red light settings which are meant to be less disruptive?

also, does he have a Yoto or similar? He might find that comforting and you could use the day and night settings to teach him when he can get up.

At nearly 4 a cot isn’t very appropriate. Can you not get him a bed? If you have room for a small double then one of you can sleep with him while he gets used to a new room.

You need a white noise machine for him so that he doesn’t hear his sister. If he’s not keen on it then put it on after he’s asleep. But mine still like it at 6 and 4

Hello, thanks for the speedy response. Assuming you're nackered too?!

My husband has slept with him in the past but we find this becomes an expectation, whereby he won't even go to sleep alone in the first instance. I came to him last night and kept walking him (and sometimes dragging him kicking and screaming) back to his room. I think he's starting to grasp that our room is how off limits but it's so distressing and he's clearly terrified.

The nightlight we have is a projector style and I've been using the red light colour on the dimmest setting but I wonder if it's still a little bit bright. Will look up the Lumnie, thanks.

He has a tomie box but isn't keen unfortunately. I've got a gro clock but didn't want to overwhelm him with too many new bits at once. Will perhaps try that tonight.

Thanks again xx

He sleeps in a double bed and has done for nearly a year, we just still had the cot in that room until this weekend.

Great idea, noted. Thanks so much! 🥰

I agree with this. It sounds like he’s like he’s a very light sleeper so blocking some of the noise of the house would be good. If it doesn’t work maybe getting a bed in his room for your husband to sleep in with him until the baby sleeps better. I know it’s not good but I’d just muddle through until you have less on your plate. Sounds crap though.

Thanks. Defo going to try a white noise machine. Going to order on prime and pray it comes same day delivery or else will try argos.

It's really really crap. My mental and physical health are in tatters.

By George we did it!!!....well nearly!

Last night ds slept all night in his bed (and is still sleeping might I add 🎉). Did he wake up in the night? Yes, a total of 4 times 🫠😅 BUT the core difference is that I walked him back each time and he went back to sleep with minimal fuss.

Sure I sat with him for a bit but I kept the talking minimal and moved further away from him each time, with the last time seeing me sit on a chair close to the door.

I owe it all to you both @BigRenoLittleBudget @chocopuffs

Honestly if I could kiss you both I would! I took your advice and bought a dream egg nite light with built in white noise and sound machine. Absolute game changer. Best money I've ever ever spent. Thank the Gods for amazon prime same day delivery too.

AT LAST there is light at the end of the tunnel (excuse the pun) 😄😄😄

Ahhh yay that’s awesome! So pleased for you. Honestly in a house with multiple kids white noise machines are game changers. And not just for the kids! Yesterday I’d had an awful night with my youngest so DH took her when she woke at 5.30am and I shoved my head under a pillow and blasted white noise right next to me and I slept until 7 undisturbed despite my three kids undoubtedly making a racket downstairs.