Hello I was not sure where to post this but its keeping me awake and my mind is in overload 😖, I've got two DS's 6 and 5 and got a 8 month old DD
Lately I feel everything is in chaos , our house is being renovated and I've just come off mat leave when DD was 7 months. Since then I feel like everyday is a mad rush and chaotic and finding work and balancing home abit of a challenge. I had very severe PND with my second born and although I felt good lately, today has been the worst day so far, everything has just gone wrong and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything ,
fast forward My two DS's were invited to a lovely party and I had it in my head it was today, I thought I had looked at the invite thoroughly and had known about it for two weeks and my two DS'S were very excited and looking forward to it .
I had done two nightshifts and don't think I was thinking properly, I went round to the house and it seemed very quiet , I had a sinking feeling , somehow I had got it wrong I knocked on the door and the mum answered and the party was infact the day before 😓 the mum was very understanding and was so lovely and compassionate about my mess up.
However I feel like a failure, my eldest son has ASD and gave himself a nose bleed ( he picks his nose and skin when stressed and anxious), on this poor ladies door step and my other DS was crying. After we went to the park and both were crying and very upset, my DS with ASD had a full meltdown when we got home and said I forget everything and was very angry I had got the dates of the party mixed up.
I feel like everything I do is wrong and I'm forgetting everything sometimes I feel like I have early onset dementia 😩
I messed up badly today and my ASD DS had a bad evening because of me. I know it's not a question but wanted to get this off my chest I feel so low and feel like I'm failing as a parent. I don't want to let my children down.