Designated driver with a new born

[sar2024]

My partner doesn't drive and I take them to work every day. My question is are there any parents out there with new borns that take their partners to work early in the morning (6am) and have no issues? Just worried about juggling it all...

I would get your partner to make other arrangements for at least a few months, any reason why he/ she doesn’t drive?

I think your main issue is your sleep. You need to be safe to drive, and early parenthood is not the time to get a lot of sleep.

That's not a commitment I would make for at least a few weeks post-partum as you don't know how you'll feel, how the baby will be, whether you'd be safe to drive e.g. if you were awake all night with the baby. Also newborns can't be in a car for more than 30 mins at a time. It's best your partner makes alternative arrangements to get to work.

I wouldn't do that, there's no knowing how unsettled a night you may have and then having to get up at 6am will likely wake the baby. Yes they may go back to sleep in the car, but what about you?

Ask your midwife or health visitor for advice if you need someone else to explain it to your partner too!

Can they not get a bus or train to work ? You need to prioritise your sleep and baby . I've a 2 week old and can safely say I would be a hazard on the road at 6am every morning at the moment.

I'm now not in the throws of newborn life but I certainly would'nt have been able to do this safely.

Hell no. And going forward will be a nightmare as babies routine will constantly be changing. It’s not fair to be waking a baby up to go in car seat etc twice a day. They need to make alternative arrangements.

If you have to make it work I’m sure you will, but babies sometimes don’t like cars and car seats, you are going to need to make sure that your need to sleep is given as much weight as your partners and in the initial weeks you may not be allowed to drive, medically, depending what happens during your birth. Normally the working partner’s sleep is prioritised but you are going to have to have equal sleep, or even prioritise your sleep. Sleep when your baby sleeps during the day. If your partner could drive but just doesn’t is it possible for them to do one of those week long crash courses before the baby arrives?

Absolutely not. A couple of bad nights and you'd be so resentful to lose what little sleep you can grab. Plus waking a sleeping baby to put them in a car? No.

You may have a c section and literally not be able to drive for a few weeks after. I started driving at about 4 weeks and it was rather painful for a little while due to the muscle work to change gear.

You may feel perfectly fine and wonder why you were worried.

Either way, you need a back up plan.

I wasn’t allowed to drive for several weeks after dd was born.

she and I also got our most solid block of sleep in the early morning hours. I don’t know how we would have managed having to get up and drive.

Plus, she screamed bloody murder every second we had her in the car. It didn’t get better for almost a year. We lived somewhere we relied on the car for transport. We took her out as seldom as possible.

Even if you have a vaginal birth you may not be able to sit properly and use your legs with strength for several weeks. After that main issue will be sleep deprivation. I didn’t feel safe to drive for 6 weeks and some mornings I don’t feel safe to drive.

He needs to find another way to get to work. I’m 4 weeks post c section and still not allowed to drive. Even if I could, the thought of getting the baby ready let alone myself dressed at 6am for that is way too much right now.

Absolutely not. They need to get the bus.

If you don't get enough sleep you will be as dangerous on the road as you would be if you'd been drinking alcohol.

Sorry OP, but no way would I have been able for that! Most days I was just getting back to sleep at 6am and so was Baby!! Picking up fine, but he needs to take another form of transport in the Morning

You are not going to be taking him to work every morning with a newborn. That's just ridiculous. Tell him now so he can make other plans.

No that's really going to kill you. And you'd have to bundle the baby out too. If he is medically able to drive I'd suggest an intensive course and try and pass test, or get bus or arrange lift from work. Heck even an uber depending on distance. But you stop doing it when you start maternity.
Maybe once you know your routine in 4 months or so. But quite likely if you and baby been up in night this will be precious sleep for both of you