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This is a space for anyone looking for support, tips on helping your baby sleep or just for a chat with fellow wide-awakers to get you through the night feeds. For more tips, check out our Ages and Stages emails.

15 week old sleep help/suggestions please

7 replies

RubyZebra · 17/02/2024 05:43

Hi everyone, this is my first mumsnet post!

FTM here, never even held a baby since I had my own 15 weeks ago!
She initially slept well, waking 3/4 times a night as ebf which was great. Barely any resettling required.
Since 10 weeks old, she has a quiet initial stint of anywhere between 2.5 and 5 hours. After the first night feed she then begins to grunt/thrash around an hour after going to sleep. This consists of raising arms and legs and almost slamming them back down on mattress, turning her head constantly, rubbing her face with arms/hands, lots of grunting noises, the odd cry, all before stopping completely for 15-20 seconds and then restarting. I know she is asleep still as her eyes are closed but I usually pick up at this point because she is noisy and my partner is drives for a living.
When I pick up I offer a feed which she will always take, will feed for her usual time and fall asleep. I then wait until she’s in a deeper sleep (20 mins) to make a transfer to the next to me cot. Then the process starts again in 40 mins time so I am shattered. This can mean I’m awake up to 10 times in the night with just 40 mins rest between wakes.
Since then, I thought that she might not be hungry at every grunt in the night and I’m probably doing it wrong!
The last week or so, I’ve been settling her and putting her back before she wakes properly for a feed. This could be anywhere between 1.5 and 2.5 hours.
After this feed, I wind/cycle legs which often releases some gas, but she won’t then be put down for another 20 mins (which is fine).
My questions are I guess, am I doing this all wrong?
Should she still be grunting and trashing around so much during the night? Is active sleep still a thing at this age?
Does this sound like the 4 month sleep regression? If so, is there an average length of how long it will go ok for?
Does anyone have any tips? I would just like to feel a little more rested in the mornings, and I know she’s definitely tired of waking so often because she’ll nap very soon after waking for the day!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
neverwakeasleepingbaby · 17/02/2024 05:49

Yes, normal and you're not doing anything wrong! I have a 16 week old baby and have been up every hour last night. I'm absolutely on my knees and I have a 2.5 year old to look after as well. Basically, I'm riding it out by any means possible until 6 months when I will night wean and sleep train. It's not for everyone but this is exactly what happened with my first son and honestly I was not in a good place by the time he was 7 months old. Physically unwell with tonsillitis which would not get better after weeks, and my mental health was starting to suffer. Hope you can get some naps today 💐

RubyZebra · 17/02/2024 05:55

@neverwakeasleepingbaby
thank you ❤️ its good to hear that what I’m experiencing is the norm.
I completely understand the on your knees feeling and I don’t have any other children so hats off to you!
I had also wondered whether 6 months would be the time things would start to get a little more settled.

OP posts:
neverwakeasleepingbaby · 17/02/2024 06:09

It's just really hard isn't it. Sleep deprivation is dreadful. I think it really depends on the baby whether the waking settles down soon or continues. For my first son (who was actually a better sleeper than this one!) it didn't. We had to do a sleep training course and my husband had to help to night wean him. But afterwards he would sleep through the night for about 10-12 hours so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Lots of people are against sleep training, and I respect their opinion, but I couldn't cope long term with the frequent wakings so that was our solution! People will say that they will eventually sleep through the night themselves but I think I would have lost my mind by that stage

Purplerain1144 · 17/02/2024 06:27

Sounds like active sleep/trying to settle herself. If she's not actually awake and crying I'd leave her as you're actually waking her up by the sounds of it

LizzeyBenett · 24/08/2024 04:44

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 17/02/2024 06:09

It's just really hard isn't it. Sleep deprivation is dreadful. I think it really depends on the baby whether the waking settles down soon or continues. For my first son (who was actually a better sleeper than this one!) it didn't. We had to do a sleep training course and my husband had to help to night wean him. But afterwards he would sleep through the night for about 10-12 hours so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Lots of people are against sleep training, and I respect their opinion, but I couldn't cope long term with the frequent wakings so that was our solution! People will say that they will eventually sleep through the night themselves but I think I would have lost my mind by that stage

Curious what age did you sleep train ? And who did you do the course with ? Pretty much had a mental breakdown this morning from sleep deprivation and my baby is only 11 weeks yet so I e a long road ahead of me I feel your pain OP.

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 24/08/2024 21:19

@LizzeyBenett ahhhh sorry to hear you're struggling. It's absolutely dire, the sleep deprivation is genuine torture. Can anyone take the baby whilst you have a nap?
We've just sleep trained my 10 month old DS2 a month ago (so at 9 months). Basically involved not breast feeding at night and my husband settling him in the night from 7pm until 6am. I'm in the spare room and have had some great sleep, I can feel my brain cells reawakening..!
DS2 is basically sleeping through now with one or two wakes which just require shhh-ing.
I think we sleep trained DS1 at around 8 months. Now cannot get him out of bed in the mornings, he's a great sleeper.
If I'm allowed to say, the course we did was "Sleep Well With Hannah". But she has a book out too now so could be a cheaper option than a course.
You will get through this, this too shall pass 💐💐💐

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 24/08/2024 21:20

I should add that the age I considered it appropriate to sleep train was when they were eating enough solids to sustain them at night. I didn't want to deprive them of milk at night until then. So that's what determined the age in my view

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